Custudy on Child That Biologically is Not Mine

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: virginia
10.

I have a question and not sure im in the write place. I have a daughter that is not biologicly mine but i have been in here life from the very beginning and found out she was not mine when i took her mother to court for custudy when she was 4 now she is 13 and her home life with her mother is terrible. Her mother recently call me and said if i didnt come and get her to live with me she was going to put her in a girls home. She is a good persons but in a bad home. Now she is living with me but her mother is making her move back home. I guess my question is what chance do I have if I file for custudy. Her mother has 3 other kids and lives off of welfare and is very verbialy abusive to my daughter but my daughter doesnt want her brothers to be taken away to foster care if I go through court and have to prove her to be an unfit mother. I love my daughter with all my heart an want her to live with me and be safe but dont want to hurt her by putting her brothers through foster care. I have been walking on egg shells for 13 years. please tell me what i can do

You would have to adopt ... and the mother would have to lose her parental rights. Not going to happen. Who is on the birth certificate? Not you I assume.

You can only wait until she is 18.

Has paternity been legally established?

Yes, The real father hasnt and dosnt want anything to do with her. Her mother has legal custudy of her but what are my chances of getting custudy if i file for it.

I don't know the laws in your state, but at 13, some states will, at least, listen to the child's opinion.

Were you paying any child support when the mother had custody?

Bottom line is that I think you'll need to consult with a lawyer on this. If you've been providing support, you have a better chance I'd guess.

BTW, I suggest not calling the other individual the "real father." A "real" father provides for his child in whatever way needed (giving of himself in time, financially, and whatever else the child needs). Sorry, but you just shouldn't sell yourself short. If the child calls you Dad and doesn't even know the bio-matter donor, then you are the REAL father.

Excuse me while I step off the soap box now.

No I dont pay monthly child support but I buy her school clothes and shoes through out the year and anything else she should need. I use to pay her child support up until we went to court when she was 4 and then the judge ordered a paternity test after it came back not mine the guardian light for my daughter said that i could see her a couple more times and then i would be phased out. I was thankful that her mother came to her senses and start letting me see her again after about 2 months. Im just tired of my daughter haven to go through stuff with her mother being mean to her I want her safe with me. Anyone else have any advice please

So you're not the child's legal father, correct?

Then getting custody against Mom's wishes is going to be terrifically difficult. Speak with a local attorney who will be able to guide you further...but really, don't get your hopes raised. Stepparent custody cases are very, very difficult to win.

Correct im not the legal father but she has my last name and I am on the birth certificate. Was never the stepfather her mother just cheated on me and lied to me for 4 years until we went to court for her to surprize me and so she wasnt mine anyway. But ive been there ever since she will soon be 14

If you're to have any chance at custody, you need an attorney.

I don't rate your chances - I'm sorry.

If you're on the birth certificate as the child's father, you can bring an action for custody and/or visitation. From what you've written, you and mom committed fraud to get you named to the birth certificate even though you both knew you weren't the father, but by virtue of the fact that she was "in on it" as well it's much less likely that a court will be interested in setting aside the voluntary acknowledgement you both signed (should mom ask the court to do so).

If paternity was truly disestablished - and that IS what OP is implying from his posts - it doesn't matter who is on the original birth certificate. 13 years ago in Georgia - are we sure that an AoP was necessary in order for an unwed mother to list Bill Gates as father on the birth certificate?

If OP isn't the legal father - that's it. He's not the legal father.

That's correct, if paternity was disestablished then he's no longer the legal father and has no standing to seek access.

Let's just say for now, the factual situation seems to get less clear with each new post....

Clarification would be a wonderful, wonderful thing!

didnt commit fraud when the mother lied to me and said she was pregnant with my baby didnt find out until she was 4 years old that she wasnt mine thanks any way

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Quoting roby1011

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didnt commit fraud when the mother lied to me and said she was pregnant with my baby didnt find out until she was 4 years old that she wasnt mine thanks any way

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...you didn't really clarify the situation.

sorry but every post i have did has clarified everything

Um... no. Quite the opposite.

Are you stating that your paternity was disestablished when the child was four, with the biological father being made legal father and your being relieved of any obligation to pay child support - and of any legal rights you previously enjoyed as parent? If so, you're not the child's father and the child's parents have the right to deny you access to the child.

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Quoting Mr. Knowitall

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Um... no. Quite the opposite.

Are you stating that your paternity was disestablished when the child was four, with the biological father being made legal father and your being relieved of any obligation to pay child support - and of any legal rights you previously enjoyed as parent? If so, you're not the child's father and the child's parents have the right to deny you access to the child.

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Rather glad I'm not the only one!

sounds like you understood everything to me im done on this site just a bunch of bs thanks anyway

What the heck?

What's your problem exactly?

That you didn't get told what you wanted to hear?