What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
My question involves name change laws in the State of: Pennsylvania
I have done my homework, and hope that someone with first-hand experience might be able to provide some insight…
Children have mother’s maiden name (age 11 & 13). Father is on birth certificate. Mother became involved in drugs, and after incidents, temporary custody was issued to Father. Within 2 months, full (legal and physical) custody was permanently awarded to Father - Mother did not bother to respond to any of the custody proceedings, participate in the CYF investigation, etc (she was found to be in contempt). Visitation with Mother is per the Father’s decision (time, place, duration). Typically this is 3-hours once per week with Grandparent present.
Life is great now (one year since custody change). Kids living with Father, with half-sister and step-mother. Father desperately wants to change their last names (both for his pride, and to disassociate them with the stigma her name carries in her town) – we understand that the court needs a reason why this would benefit the children (not him). This would create a cohesive family name (Father, step-mother, half-sister all share the Father’s last name). Mother’s name is known around town to be associated with trouble.
Mother will likely not respond to the court required notification of the name change (based on her non-response to custody hearings). Kids would likely testify to judge to be indifferent about it, possibly excited (we have not broached the subject with them yet).
1. Is the argument for name change sufficient – if the Mother does not object, and children are supportive (or indifferent)?
2. How much would the children hear during the court hearing? The children do not know that their Mother was in contempt during the custody issues, that she did not fight for them, they do not know her involvement in the drugs. They are under the belief that the custody change was required by the judge solely based on one particular incident and the associated police report and do not realize that we in fact filed for emergency custody, and then pushed for it to be finalized. We aren't ashamed of that, but we feel that if the kids learned the details, it would be the same as talking trash on their mom, and we work very hard to avoid that, and respect that she is the mother, and they love her (despite the fact that she makes poor decisions).
We appreciate any insight or experiences that you might have. We will not be eligible for aid, and thus don’t want to push through the legal costs if we don’t have a chance.
Re: What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
What evidence can you provide of "stigma" from the surname? This is a surname that no one in the town, other than the mother and sons, uses?
Re: What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
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Mr. Knowitall
What evidence can you provide of "stigma" from the surname? This is a surname that no one in the town, other than the mother and sons, uses?
Thanks for your response.
I'm not sure what actual evidence we could come up with. The mother has a brother who is in/out of jail regularly. The mother is a known heroine/oxycontin addict. If you mention the name to anyone in the same generation who attended the local high schools, they know of the family. That said, I doubt the judge would know the name since the case for a name change would be brought in a different county, and the family court judge obviously isn't the same that deals with DUI, criminal mischief, etc.
What about the concept that it would help with the cohesive family unit? Is that a viable reason?
Also, any idea what the process is like? How much of the justification would the children need to be present and hear? Concern being we have successfully sheltered them from some of the facts surrounding their mother's "issues", and lack of participation in the custody case (because hearing that your mom didn't even try to keep you would be devistating to a kid).
We really appreciate your insight, and an outsiders perspective.
Thanks.
Re: What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
Cohesive family unit rarely meets the burden these days, since many families have more than one last name in the mix.
Even if it was a valid reason, the easier option would be to have you all change your last names to theirs...but I'm guessing that's not a favored option.
In order to prove "stigma", you're going to generally need to prove notoriety such as the names Dahmer, Bundy or Gotti might bring with them. Or, an unusual name in a small town where "everybody knows your name", so to speak.
Mom being "known" isn't generally going to wash.
Re: What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
Thanks for your response Dogmatique. Although it's not what we wanted to hear, it seemed straight forward enough.
What I'm taking from all this is that it's really hard to change a kid's last name. If anybody has any suggestions on how to make it successfull, we're all ears, and would be grateful. As we mentioned, we expect the mom not to respond at all, and think that we'll have the kids support (we wouldn't do it without their support).
Thanks to all.
Re: What Constitutes Good Cause for a Name Change to Father's Name
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Quoting
pa_parent
Thanks for your response Dogmatique. Although it's not what we wanted to hear, it seemed straight forward enough.
What I'm taking from all this is that it's really hard to change a kid's last name. If anybody has any suggestions on how to make it successfull, we're all ears, and would be grateful. As we mentioned, we expect the mom not to respond at all, and think that we'll have the kids support (we wouldn't do it without their support).
Thanks to all.
You should really speak with a local attorney who will better know the climate of your local courts. It might be difficult or it might be easy.