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Prevented From Exercising Visitation

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  • 02-10-2011, 05:54 PM
    babyjulie
    Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Tennessee
    OK I have visitation rights to my daughter her father hasn't let me see her in 4 years. I pay my child support every month and have since we divorced. I live in NC and he lives in TN. And won't provide a phone number and when I get one he takes and disconnected it. I've wrote letters and send cards go UN answered. I've tryed legal aid but no help.emailed attorneys but can't get help. If I go to court and file papers myself would the judge hear me would I get to see my baby that's only 6 . They put parents in jail for non payment of Support. What will they do to him.
  • 02-10-2011, 05:57 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Help
    What have you done to enforce visitation?

    Have you turned up and been refused?

    If you haven't seen her in 4 years, you really need to file again to modify the current visitation order. She won't know you, really, and it would be in her best interest to have initially short, supervised visits in Dad's community.

    Then eventually if all goes well, you'll generally be able to go back to a regular visitation schedule with overnights and weekends etc.
  • 02-10-2011, 06:30 PM
    babyjulie
    Re: Help
    I have tryed to do something I've wrote the court house a letter and they say he's in contempt cause he's not provided any info. For me to reach her.and I've not been denied my visits threw court he has denied my visits. And I'm willing to do anything to see her so can I petition the court to make him give me my visits.
  • 02-10-2011, 06:41 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Help
    Ok, writing to the court won't work - they are not actually allowed to communicate with you that way.

    You need to file a motion in court - and if you don't know how to do that, you really need to speak with an attorney.

    Please tell us though, exactly what your visitation order says, word for word. (Minus names).
  • 02-10-2011, 07:54 PM
    babyjulie
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    OK my parenting plan states as follows
    first in Tennessee you have to do parenting classes witch my certificate was filled in 05. Witch the divorce was filled then as well. And it stated my visits started once that was filed with the court. Then. My visits mothers day every,July 4th odd,labor day even. Thanksgiving day odd. Christmas even. And then Christmas on even years he has from school is dismissed to Christmas at one. Then I get from 1pm till 6pm the night before school resumes. Transportation is to be split equal between the two party's. I will pay 372.00 a month in support I do every month. I'm entitled unimplied telephone conversations with her twice a week. To know what school she goes to. Records of them. To be giving 48 hours notice of any activities. We signed June 10th. And he had an attorney I didn't so I feel like I got took...
  • 02-10-2011, 07:57 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    OK, thank you.

    How many times have you actually turned up at Dad's house to get your daughter? Have you ever filed contempt?

    How many times have you requested the records from the school?
  • 02-10-2011, 08:37 PM
    singlemom87
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    Can she call the cops if she makes an attempt to pick up child (within the custody agreement guidelines) and he refuses? Would that be kidnapping or something along those lines?
    (not saying you should do that babyjulie I know its what I would though lol)

    Has he ever given you a reason for whitholding your child from you?
  • 02-10-2011, 09:01 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    Quote:

    Quoting singlemom87
    View Post
    Can she call the cops if she makes an attempt to pick up child (within the custody agreement guidelines) and he refuses? Would that be kidnapping or something along those lines?
    (not saying you should do that babyjulie I know its what I would though lol)

    Has he ever given you a reason for whitholding your child from you?


    Would you send your 6 year old - who hasn't seen the other parent in FOUR YEARS - to visit with a virtual stranger? Really? I sure as heck wouldn't. I very, very rarely suggest or advocate going against a court order but in this situation, you bet your bottom dollar I would do so.

    Legally, it is not kidnapping by ANY means. It doesn't even come close to kidnapping.

    Legally, if Mom actually turned up on Dad's doorstep and refused visitation he IS technically in contempt - but I find it highly unlikely that he'd get reprimanded for that given the situation.

    That's why I advised Mom to file for a new visitation order. Her and kiddo need to be reintroduced to each other over a period of time. We have got to think of the child here - this isn't really about Mom or Dad. It's about the child. While kiddo has the right to both parents, after being absent most of her young life as Mom has she (kiddo) deserves some time to adjust.

    With regards to why Dad is withholding the child...I'm not convinced that he actually is withholding the child. Mom doesn't appear to have done much to actually go and visit - but that's why I asked the question ;)
  • 02-10-2011, 09:49 PM
    babyjulie
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    Well you know I'm not sure what To do in the situation really. I'm not saying I have done nothing to see her . I don't know my rights. As her mother. And I've done everything but try to show up at his door step cause guess what don't know where that is at the time. And as far as the school records dont even know how to go about getting them eather. But I have consulted an attorney and I know I have rights as a mother. Also, no I wouldn't send a child of with a stranger cause I know to her I am one. And I know this isn't going to be an easy process with her. Going to the cops well really never thought about that one going and just picking her up yeah would if I knew where. But I know I'm a mother whom is longing to see her daughter. And I will do what it takes to see her. Not going to say I was perfect but never been to jail nor convicted of a crime. Honestly I'm hurt that there aren't more help out there for women in my shoes. You know they call it momma dramma. Well what about daddy drama and what they put the mother's threw is that truely fair really at all? Expecially when the mother is a respective and good hearted person. If you want to where I have been walk a mile in my shoes bet you would be standing.
  • 02-10-2011, 09:53 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Prevented From Exercising Visitation
    The police likely wouldn't get involved - period. This is a civil matter, not criminal.

    And please don't assume that nobody else has gone through a similar situation.

    The basic truth is that you've gone four years without seeing your daughter - you're not going to be able to simply turn up and get her tomorrow.

    Think of HER.

    Not YOU.

    HER.

    By all means, hire that attorney and listen to what s/he says.

    Good luck.
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