Re: Online Intimate Interstate Relationship Between an Adult an a Minor
The idea is not to find someone "quickly" or "easily." While many teenage males may not understand it, life is not just about sex. We all had disappointments in that arena when we were kids. It's part of growing up. It's also part of the learning process ... hopefully.
Finding someone closer in age is not only legally safer, but it is far more likely to result in a better bonding. Two people close in age tend to have greater frames of reference, similar tastes and experiences, similar life experience and expectations, etc. And, for the most part, boys tend to be far more immature than girls their own age which is just one reason why guys - as they get older - tend to find girls a few years younger than them. At one point in time the average age between husband and wife was about 5 years ... not sure what it is now, but I believe the rates are closer which could be a contributing factor towards divorce. You and this woman were at the other end of the spectrum with you at a very emotional and immature state in life, and her at what should have been her most lucid and mature.
This gal has some problems. Not only for toying on the edge of sexuality with a teenage MINOR, but also for getting her kicks toying with a kid emotionally. Whether she did so out of some sick sense of self amusement, or out of some misguided affection, who can say? But, it is safe to say that she was not the one who you could have made a life with. Had you chosen to be stupid and run off with her, you would have had to return home and she would have gone to jail. And if you managed to dodge the authorities for a time, eventually you would be left high and dry without an education or skills ... not a good place to be in later in life.
So, for now, concentrate not on girls and raging testosterone, but instead on school and family. Find fulfillment in things that are less self-destructive and emotionally damaging.
Re: Online Intimate Interstate Relationship Between an Adult an a Minor
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Quoting
cdwjava
While many teenage males may not understand it, life is not just about sex.
Exactly my point. I could easily run out and bang some girl at school. I've thought I've been in love while really just wanting sex. I've learned to distinguish between love and lust, it's not a hard concept. This idea that just because I'm a 17 year old male I must only be focused on sex, is nothing less than bullshit. Seriously, I understand how most guys are, but you can't generalize like that without being incorrect. Did you not read the part about me not pushing for nudity or ANY kind of sexual interaction beyond "I'll be thinking about you today"?! Isn't that just a little bit significant? If it was about sex, I would've broken things off with her and gone to one of the local girls. Instead, it was about love. Yes, some young people are capable of it. THIS is what's frustrating for me when I try to consider girls my age or attempt to garner the interest of an older one- they either don't recognize love in its fullest form or they tell me to go for someone younger because apparently that translates to "more compatible" for most people. And that's logical to me, but there are always exceptions to the rule and unfortunately I'm one of probably many.
That said, she's out of my life forever. I'll probably never be the same but I should try to forget. It's just that on some level it's senseless to let her get away with doing this to me when I potentially have the power to get revenge for once in my life. However, I can't possibly justify doing that unless she outright refuses to communicate with me in any way- THAT is heartlessness, and that's what I won't stand for. Even then it's a big maybe.
You accidentally fall in love with me when you didn't really want a relationship a 17 year old? That's fine. Stupid, but fine, thanks for the 16 months. But you don't help me out of the hole you just buried me in?! What makes you think that's okay?!
^^How is that wrong of me? There IS a better way for her to put me down and she isn't taking it. If she had any respect for the guy she's been misleading for the past year, she would have made herself available to me. Anything less than that is cruel and reckless. Anyway, it's 4:20 in the morning and I have school to be too depressed to attend tomorrow. Thanks for the thoughtful replies!