Who Gets Default Custody Before Going to Court

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

If I am NOT on the birth certificate, I have zero rights. I understand that. However, If I am on the birth certificate, and we have not gone to court to determine who gets full custody and the etceteras, and I (male) take the baby, to stay at my house and refuse the mother to take the baby back to her house, am I breaking the law? does she get automatic full custody because she is birthed the baby?

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Quoting thesurg3on

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My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Michigan

If I am NOT on the birth certificate, I have zero rights. I understand that. However, If I am on the birth certificate, and we have not gone to court to determine who gets full custody and the etceteras, and I (male) take the baby, to stay at my house and refuse the mother to take the baby back to her house, am I breaking the law? does she get automatic full custody because she is birthed the baby?

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In YOUR situation it is less about gender than it is about marital status.

You were not married to Mom, hence in your state Mom is, by default, the custodial parent until a court says otherwise.

What has happened in your case since October?

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we have not gone to court to determine who gets full custody and the etceteras, and I (male) take the baby, to stay at my house and refuse the mother to take the baby back to her house, am I breaking the law?

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Yes, you are, and you can be charged with kidnapping.

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does she get automatic full custody because she is birthed the baby?

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No, she gets automatic full custody because you were never married. Unless and until custody and visitation is established by the courts - in response to your petition - Mom has complete care and control of the child, regardless of whether or not you're named on the birth certificate.

it seems that it would be in my best interests to have the courts behind me to protect me instead of setting up an agreement between the two of us.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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What has happened in your case since October?

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we went to court, she decided to drop the case. or so she says.

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it seems that it would be in my best interests to have the courts behind me to protect me instead of setting up an agreement between the two of us.

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Your best interests AND the child's. Even if you could set something up amicably between you, if she changed her mind, there would be nothing you could do without a court order.

Hie thee to court and get this done properly.

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Quoting thesurg3on

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we went to court, she decided to drop the case. or so she says.

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You had best be certain. She can tell you that, but if she does not in fact drop the case she could end up with a very favorable custody, visitation and support order by default.

What ended up happening is that she got full legal and physical custody. i get 3 hours once a month (supervised by mother), no overnights, she visits me in my home state two times a year for three days. the order of filiation states that i get a say in religion and education. i just opened up another thread as I am now having issues getting the mother to comply with my wishes regarding education and school. she seems to think that i get to voice my opinion only and she gets to call all of the shots regardless of the fact that our Order of Filiation states that I have a say in education and religion. i would not imagine it was written in the order as i can voice my opinion about anything under the sun without a legal document.

overall, this seems to be such a harsh custody guideline especially considering i am not a criminal, have not been involved in any domestic abuse ever, pay over $2000/month, and travel 1000 miles to see my child monthly. i've heard of criminals with better rights than i am afforded.

Given that you've clarified somewhat here, I do think you're going to have a HUGE battle fighting Mom on this one.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Given that you've clarified somewhat here, I do think you're going to have a HUGE battle fighting Mom on this one.

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which is what i feared. time to start begging for money for an attorney. i've heard before, good things do not come easy.

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Quoting thesurg3on

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What ended up happening is that she got full legal and physical custody. i get 3 hours once a month (supervised by mother), no overnights, she visits me in my home state two times a year for three days. the order of filiation states that i get a say in religion and education. i just opened up another thread as I am now having issues getting the mother to comply with my wishes regarding education and school. she seems to think that i get to voice my opinion only and she gets to call all of the shots regardless of the fact that our Order of Filiation states that I have a say in education and religion. i would not imagine it was written in the order as i can voice my opinion about anything under the sun without a legal document.

overall, this seems to be such a harsh custody guideline especially considering i am not a criminal, have not been involved in any domestic abuse ever, pay over $2000/month, and travel 1000 miles to see my child monthly. i've heard of criminals with better rights than i am afforded.

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Just to address one point...having a say does not mean that you get veto power. It doesn't mean that you get to make the final decision. Having a say is far more likely to mean that mom has to take your opinion into consideration, but she gets to make the final decision.