My Childs Father Waited 3 1/2 Years Before He Had Any Contact with My Child
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Minnesota
The father of my child waited 3 1/2 years to try to have any contact of our child. In the middle of the night I was served papers, and he was asking to have my child every Thursday night, and every other weekend. I could'nt believe it. I had to get an attorney, and now it's a year later, and the Judge has let him have supervised visits. This has been going on for 4 months now. I can't keep my attorney, because it's draining me financially. I am so confused about all of this. I still can't believe that i'm the one with an attorney, and he never had one, and he seems to be getting everything he wants. What can I do? There must be something else I can do to stop this. This is emotionally hurting my child. My child now has accidents, and sleeping with me almost every night. This has been hurting my child, and I can't seem to stop these visits. Next month we go back to court to see what to do next... how can I stop this. What if a guardian Ad litem happens next? Someone that knows nothing about us...this could work in his favor.. he is very manipulative. I'm worried that they are going to eventually allow non supervised visits. Does anyone out there have anything going on like me? I could use any help! The father also has 2 other children out there who he only has contact with them every 3 years...messes with there head, and then never sees them for 3 years again. I dont want that for my child.
Re: My Childs Father Waited 3 1/2 Years Before He Had Any Contact with My Child
Well, he likely will get unsupervised visitation eventually. He is your child's father and he has the right to be a part of his child's life.
What are you doing to facilitate the relationship between kiddo and her Dad? Do you have her in counseling to help her adjust? Is your anxiety perhaps rubbing off on her?
If a GAL is appointed, s/he will be looking out for what is in the child's best interest - not yours, and not Dad's.
Honestly, you need to accept that Dad is likely going to have unsupervised visitation with his daughter, and even for much longer periods in the summer once she's school age.
Re: My Childs Father Waited 3 1/2 Years Before He Had Any Contact with My Child
That's what worries me. I paid for a parenting phycological evaluation that he had to take. It said if ANY visitaion it should be very limited and supervised, and it was in his best interest not my childs. It also said it could be detramental for the child, but the judge after all that still allowed the visits. I just started counseling for her, and hopefully that will help her.
Re: My Childs Father Waited 3 1/2 Years Before He Had Any Contact with My Child
Yes, counseling will probably do a lot of good.
Even if Dad's visits are supervised now (and even in the short term future), he can petition the court to request regular unsupervised visitation and unless it can be proven that your child IS being harmed (and it will take time to prove this - every child is going to go through a period of adjustment, including anxiety and insecurity, when the absent parent reappears and this is considered a normal process), he will get what he requests.
There are some great co-parenting sites online, and maybe you can take a look at some of them.
You've also really got to get used to the idea that Dad might be around for a long, long time. Any negative feelings you have towards him are going to affect your child and you need to make sure that you're not inadvertently alienating your child from Dad. Because that can actually result in you losing custody.
It happens more often than you may be aware.