Considering divorce with a baby on the way

I am almost 5 months pregnant and I am anticipating problems with my baby's father once he is born. He and I were only dating for a short time before I got pregnant, and we rushed into marriage. He has not gotten a job yet, and has not paid a single bill in my favor or the baby's. I am living with my parents, who are more than willing to help support me and the baby, even after he's born. I have a few questions. First of all, if we are not legally separated or divorced, will I be forced to give the baby HIS last name? What do I need to do in order to give him MY last name? (I have not changed my name to his). Also, when the baby is an infant, as long as I am able to provide a stable and loving home environment for him, there's no way his father could gain full-custody, right? Considering the fact that after almost 4 months of knowing he has a baby on the way he has neglected to get a job. I would not want to take his rights away completely, I have no reason to. But I would NOT want him to take my infant out of my supervision for any amount of time. He is not even 21 yet and has no experience with children OR babies. Also, I am wondering if when we decide on custody/visitation, is there any way that his visitation can be suspended if he does not pay child support? If we both agreed on this, could one be held against the other? This is such a stressful time, and I need as much advice as I can get. I know that I will be able to provide a more stable environment for the baby, not to mention I AM his mother. How much does that weigh in...the fact that I carried him for 9 months, paid doctor's bills, and supported myself the entire time? Thanks so much for any help you can offer.

State law varies. What state?

I'm in Maryland...

Sounds like you need an attorney. If you are low income, I'd perfer free support from legal aid. Open the following links and see if you can find the right supporter.

http://www.charityfinders.com/cf/ser...d=083004CHA001

http://www.divorcenet.com/states/maryland/mdfaq_01

http://www.wlcmd.org/

If the father gets an attorney, he can fight for custody.

Child support and custody are two different topics. The decission is not made by the same judge. So if he does not pay child support, it will not suspend him from seeing the baby.

Because the father does not have a job, there will be less/no child support paid. It depends on the judge.

Here are your state's divorce forms: http://www.legalforms-usa.com/shopsi...RCE-FORMS.html

Some of your questions are answered throughout this website, browse around: http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/MD/flc.htm

I assumed I would need the help of a lawyer, I was just hoping there was an easy answer as far as the last name of the baby goes. If at all possible I'd prefer to put off getting a divorce if possible, due to the stresses, etc. But if it's what I need to do in order to give him my last name, then I will. Thank you for your advice.

I almost forgot about the "No Fault Divorce." That way you will not need an attorney. You can do it by yourself. If you don't have a lot to fight for (car finance, house and assets), get an easy 1-2-3 "No Fault Divorce." The child will be yours to keep (unless he gets an attorney). That way it will be easy to name the child whatever name you want because the divorce will not take as long that way.

http://www.divorcelawinfo.com/MD/div/STEPBYSTEP.htm

So if he doesn't get an attourney, I don't have to agree to any visitation or child support? Is that risky considering the fact that he does want to see the baby and be part of his life? What does this entitle him to legally?

You will not have to agree to any visitation. If you do not mention him as the father, he will not have any child support. If you are divorced by the time you have your baby it will be easier for you to keep the baby. If he threatens you to see the baby or for any other manner you would be able to get a PPO againt him. If he breaks that he would be able to go to jail. The only way for him to see the baby legally is to get an attorney to fight for child support. I don't know how the state laws of Maryland for a parent kidnapping their child. In Michigan, if a parent kidnaps their child without force and brings back the child within 72 hours, he/she will not get trouble.

Most people get child support and custody mixed up. If he is paying child custody 100% does not mean he is able to see the child unless a judge grants him custody. If he never paid any of his custody bills he will be able to see the child if a judge granted him with custody. So remember those are two different subjects.

If he is not present at the time the child is born, you can probably fill out the application for a birth certificate however you would like - that is, give the child whatever surname you choose.

If the child is given his surname on the birth certificate, you would normally later have to get a court order changing the child's name.

If he petitions for custody or parenting time, the court hearing his petition will try to determine an outcome that is in the child's best interest.

(You can't be charged with parental kidnapping in Michigan if there is no child custody order in effect.)

As far as not mentioning him as a father (Guilty or Not Guilty) what does that mean? He already knows he's the father and up until the past few weeks to a month we were going to try and be a family. However, I have changed my mind about his ability to provide a stable home and have chosen to live with my parents. I don't mind him having visitation, but I want it to be on my terms, not his. I'm sure he'll want to be present at the time the child is born. Can he actually argue with me AT the hospital and demand his last name be given? That seems ridiculous, really. Is there any way I can make sure he is not present until the baby is born and I have already filled out the application for a birth cirtificate?

Additionally, I looked into a divorce without use of a lawyer, and from what I understand, if we do the divorce ourselves, agree on a visitation schedule and/or child support and present it to a judge, thats as good as having a lawyer, right? And in order for him to get rights other than what I want him to have, he'd have to get a lawyer. Is this correct?