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Step Parent Rights and Biological Parent Rights

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  • 09-30-2010, 03:26 PM
    Kerryannc1975
    Step Parent Rights and Biological Parent Rights
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Massachusetts
    I had been the custodial parent for my children now ages 17 and 12 up until 2 1/2 years ago. Due to some problems I had been having and the school they were their father and I changed our parenting arrangement for them to reside with him and his wife. Since that time the situation has changed dramatically. He recently confided in me that he has an alcohol addiction problem and is never home. In essence his wife is caring for the kids. She is great and I am greatful she is there. I applied through their schools for access to their online system follow their grades, etc. and had been denied because I am not listed as a parent or legal guardian. I am infuriated and when I confronted step mom and their Dad they became angry with me and won't fix it. My son has also been diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My question is if Dad isn't home and caring for them and I am not being notified of school open houses, etc. Do I have a case to fight for them back? Also, is there a legality regarding my not being listed as a parent or legal guardian? As of now both school show their step mom as their mom/legal guardian. No mention of me. I am not notified by them of IEP meetings, etc until 1-2 days before they are about to happen. They live 100 miles away, I need to take time to make it to these things and I always find a way but this is just getting out of control.When I did mention the problem with the school and how I am listed he became irrate and yelling. I let my temper get me and said I would fight to get them home. He called back and told me he would make it so I can't even see them. I have NEVER lost rights to mychildren. Can he make that happen?
  • 09-30-2010, 11:37 PM
    aardvarc
    Re: Step Parent Rights and Biological Parent Rights
    While it would have been the decent thing to do to put you on the list, if you've got a court order showing that you're a legal guardian, it should be a simple matter of providing that information to the school and being granted the access you desire.

    If you plan to bring a case to modify custody, you'll need SOME form of documentation that not only is there an alcohol problem, but that the problem is having some impact on the child to the degree that the court would reconsider primary custody status. Custody changes aren't often based on what's changing in the parent's life, but what's changing in the CHILD'S life. If dad's issue isn't having some noticeable impact on the children, then it's not likely to sway a change in custody. Same goes for dad's threat to you - HE doesn't get to determine if you get to see them or not. That's why we have judges and court orders. If he wants to ask the court to terminate your parental rights, he's going to have to prove to the court's satisfaction that you have created such a negative impact on the children as to merit that extreme step, or, show the court that you've abandoned the child for a substantial period of time (which, if you're working towards getting more involved in checking out his school status makes that arguement on dad's part a moot point and a whole lot of hot air).
  • 10-01-2010, 07:52 AM
    Kerryannc1975
    Re: Step Parent Rights and Biological Parent Rights
    Thank you so much for your reply. It helps put my mind at ease. :) I have always been involved and we (dad and step mom) have normally had an amazing relationship. He flies off the handle when I have a question about such things as this. My son told me the other day that Daddy is always drunk and my daughter cries and tells me that he needs an inpatient facility to help him. What upsets me is when I decide to allow them to live there he was very involved as a parent. Now, he is never home and leaves all the caring for and raising to the kids step mother. I have them there so he can raise them along WITH her and me. Right now that isn't the case. They are afraid I will try to go to court so they don't want me involved and do whatever it takes to keep me out of the loop. He doesn't attend school meeting, or diabetes appointments. I take my son to all of his diabetes appointments along with his step mother. His step mom and dad never tell me about school things until last minute. His Father doesn't attend any of them but his step mother will. It is great she is involved and I am thankful but if he isn't raising my son then I believe I should be able to, not his step mother.

    Again, thanks so much for you reply. I can't tell you how much it is appreciated. :)
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