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Child Custody Issue for a Newborn

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  • 09-26-2010, 12:36 PM
    LaurenC820
    Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Ohio

    I am a single mother-to-be, the father and I were never married, and never dated. He lives about an hour away in Michigan. For the past five months, he denied being the father, and although he recently said he wants to be involved, he still wants a test done to be sure the child is his.

    He has a past history of violence, drug use, and is extremely short tempered. I have NO intention of keeping my daughter from him, but he requested weekend visitations almost as soon as she's born. I am completely against this, only because I feel a newborn should establish a solid schedule before they start spending nights away from home. I am, however, open to weekly visits for at least the first year, but I'd be wary of overnights until she's closer to two.

    Would that be possible? If we went to court for this, what would the order most likely be? Breastfeeding most likely won't be an issue. Other factors to consider include... the father having no car (I have no car, I currently use my mother's), and especially his short temper and past drug use. I don't know if he's still using drugs, but I do know he gets angry and yells very easily, and I don't feel he could even handle a crying newborn for an entire weekend.

    Also, how does custody work with two states? Our child will be born in Toledo, will not have his last name, and until DNA is established, he won't be named on the birth certificate. Could he also request I change pediatricians? I have already chosen one, before he even contacted me, and he is a longtime family doctor.

    Any advice would be appreciated :)
  • 09-26-2010, 01:10 PM
    KariGirl
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Im probably not the best help but if you fear abuse, temper, drug abuse, then dont push to do anything right now legally. That way you have custody and he doesnt have a say unless some action later on is taken, take it from a parent of older kids who has to deal with an ex like this all there growing up years, its not fun. Id have been better off he took off on us and left us alone.
  • 09-26-2010, 01:24 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Here's an example of a parenting plan for an infant in Ohio:

    read here

    As you can see, once she's a year old Dad will likely be able to have overnights once every other week.
  • 09-26-2010, 01:39 PM
    LaurenC820
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Here's an example of a parenting plan for an infant in Ohio:

    read here

    As you can see, once she's a year old Dad will likely be able to have overnights once every other week.

    Now, does this still work if the father lives in Michigan? If the child is born in Ohio, would that state have jurisdiction?

    And I don't know how two months-twelve months would work, especially if the father doesn't have a car to see the child. I also don't know how trusting I'd be with leaving my child alone with him after just two months.

    Also, how would schooling be determined if I end up being the child's primary residence? I know with my aunt (who also lives in Ohio), because she had primary residence, she chose the school.
  • 09-26-2010, 01:53 PM
    CourtClerk
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Quote:

    Quoting LaurenC820
    View Post
    And I don't know how two months-twelve months would work, especially if the father doesn't have a car to see the child.

    He'd have to work it out, borrow a car, get a ride, take a bus OR... here's a thought, you two could share in the transporation.
    Quote:

    I also don't know how trusting I'd be with leaving my child alone with him after just two months.
    I'm not even trying to be funny, but how long did you date him before you slept with him?
    Quote:

    Also, how would schooling be determined if I end up being the child's primary residence? I know with my aunt (who also lives in Ohio), because she had primary residence, she chose the school.
    Depends on the custody agreement that I suggest BOTH of you pursue. If the child remains in Ohio, then you very well may be picking schools, but if he has joint legal custody, he will have input.
  • 09-26-2010, 01:58 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Yes, Ohio will have jurisdiction and the child's school district will generally be where the custodial parent resides assuming Dad remains out of state; even if Dad has joint legal he may have difficulty fighting your decision

    I understand your concerns. Without wishing to sound harsh, this is how the court will see it:

    You trusted him enough to sleep with; you're basically telling the court that he's fine Dad material. He doesn't need a car to see the child. You can make alternate arrangements with Dad, but if you can't come to an agreement the State will .generally order visitation based upon the guidelines.
  • 09-26-2010, 02:01 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    He is unlikely to get immediate weekends for the first two months. Period.

    However, I don't see why he can't visit every weekend and see the child.
  • 09-26-2010, 02:07 PM
    LaurenC820
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    He is unlikely to get immediate weekends for the first two months. Period.

    However, I don't see why he can't visit every weekend and see the child.

    Like I said, I'm fine with him visiting. I'd be fine with him visiting every day for an hour or two the first few months, and was hoping we could work together and extend it so that by the first year, he'd not only have unsupervised visitation, but overnights.

    If that makes sense? :confused:

    I guess what I'm saying is I want her to have a relationship with her dad, but I was planning on having visits at my home for a little longer than two months. I just want to avoid court at all costs, and try and be reasonable, despite my feelings toward him.
  • 09-26-2010, 02:14 PM
    Dogmatique
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Court PROTECTS you.

    Court orders are your friend. Truly - they protect all parties involved and make it much more difficult for one parent to screw the other over.

    I strongly recommend you do actually get this sorted out via court, even if that means you don't get your preferred visitation schedule.
  • 09-26-2010, 02:20 PM
    LaurenC820
    Re: Child Custody Issue for a Newborn
    Quote:

    Quoting Dogmatique
    View Post
    Court PROTECTS you.

    Court orders are your friend. Truly - they protect all parties involved and make it much more difficult for one parent to screw the other over.

    I strongly recommend you do actually get this sorted out via court, even if that means you don't get your preferred visitation schedule.

    That makes sense. Even if we came to an agreement, does the court sign off on that so neither of us can change it? And what are my chances of getting supervised visitation at my residence for at least the first six months?

    Sorry for so many questions. This is all very new to me, and I just want to know what to expect and get some peace of mind before everything happens. :)
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