Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
My question involves child support in the State of: California
I am currently going through child support I hav claimed three children one of which is not his, she is from a previous relationship, but he was ok being her father and marrying me. We met when she was a few months born, but now we are divorcing but he does not want to give child support for the daughter that is not his, he was fine calling her his daugther until we started seperating, then he started saying shes nothing to him. Is is legal in the state of California for me to add her to my child support claim? She is now 9 years old, so she still believes she is his daughter we have not told her she is not, since he raised her all her life.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
Who is the child's LEGAL father?
I strongly suggest that you get your daughter into counseling; she needs to know her biological background and since you've both lied to her all of her life this is not going to be easy for her.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
Agree - unless he's either her father on the birth certificate (which would be fraud if you knew he wasn't the father) or unless he legally adopted the daugher, he's a legal stranger to her and has no legal obligation to support her, no matter what anyone called each other. If she's got another legal father, THAT is who you go after for child support for that child.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Dogmatique
Who is the child's LEGAL father?
I strongly suggest that you get your daughter into counseling; she needs to know her biological background and since you've both lied to her all of her life this is not going to be easy for her.
You always tell me nicely when I cross the line in giving sound advice and opinionated advice...It is safe to say, you is pretty opinionated.
I believe (especially on this forum) you have to walk a mile in someone shoes before giving moral advice. I have a few cousins in my family that found out that their father wasn't their bio-father and didn't need councelling and didn't call their mothers liers. It answered a lot of questions they had when they found out, but none of them held grudges or needed counseling.
To the OP: Your answer is "Yes" you can try. From a new born til 9 years old she thought (and still thinks) he is her father. Probably helps if the bio-father has absolutely no contact with her and never collected a penny from him. I am guessing he doesn't because your daughter is not aware of who her real father is. I am sure things like having her listed on his health insurance, life insurance policy, and anything else that shows that he took on the roll of "Father" would help your case too.
Does she have his last name????????
It is a long shot, but there is a number of cases where the guy is paying child support for a child that is not their, because they assume the roll as "Father" during the marriage and end up paying support when the marriage ended.
BUT!!!!!....You are already going to get Child Support for two children from him. The difference between claming all three and only claiming the two that is the bio-father is a very small amount. It might not be worth the trouble, because there is only so much you can take from a person paycheck. Think about it. Going after the real father would probably be more beneficial to you, especially if he not already paying child support to someone else.
EDIT:
Sorry....I just remembered I am pretty sure California is one of two states that put a stop to having non-bio father paying Child Support, based on marriage. Better research on that.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Lawrence084
You always tell me nicely when I cross the line in giving sound advice and opinionated advice...It is safe to say, you is pretty opinionated.
What's your point?
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I believe (especially on this forum) you have to walk a mile in someone shoes before giving moral advice. I have a few cousins in my family that found out that their father wasn't their bio-father and didn't need councelling and didn't call their mothers liers. It answered a lot of questions they had when they found out, but none of them held grudges or needed counseling.
That is nice. Good for you and all of your family members.
It doesn't change the legal reality. Mom has LIED to this child.
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To the OP: Your answer is "Yes" you can try. From a new born til 9 years old she thought (and still thinks) he is her father. Probably helps if the bio-father has absolutely no contact with her and never collected a penny from him. I am guessing he doesn't because your daughter is not aware of who her real father is. I am sure things like having her listed on his health insurance, life insurance policy, and anything else that shows that he took on the roll of "Father" would help your case too.
Does she have his last name????????
It is a long shot, but there is a number of cases where the guy is paying child support for a child that is not their, because they assume the roll as "Father" during the marriage and end up paying support when the marriage ended.
BUT!!!!!....You are already going to get Child Support for two children from him. The difference between claming all three and only claiming the two that is the bio-father is a very small amount. It might not be worth the trouble, because there is only so much you can take from a person paycheck. Think about it. Going after the real father would probably be more beneficial to you, especially if he not already paying child support to someone else.
EDIT:
Sorry....I just remembered I am pretty sure California is one of two states that put a stop to having non-bio father paying Child Support, based on marriage. Better research on that.
Yes, you better research further.
Or at least clarify your position because you're all over the place on this one.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Dogmatique
What's your point?
My point is: The OP didn't ask if it is okay to tell her daughter that the guy she married was her real father or not, and she definetly did not asked if her daughter need couselling or whatever advice you thought she wanted to handle not knowing who her real father is.
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Dogmatique
That is nice. Good for you and all of your family members.
It doesn't change the legal reality. Mom has LIED to this child.
What is "Legal reality"? The court of public opinion? What law did she break? Yes mom lied to her child, so what? Do you have any idea why she did? Maybe you need to find that out why before calling someone a lier. I am sure she has her reason.
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Dogmatique
Yes, you better research further.
Or at least clarify your position because you're all over the place on this one.
Yes, I agree. But I do know this. The courts try to do what best for the child. If they feel that this man took on the role of the "father", they will lean toward making him "father". And like I mention before the difference between claiming two children or three children might not be worth the effort. That is for the OP to decide.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Lawrence084
My point is: The OP didn't ask if it is okay to tell her daughter that the guy she married was her real father or not, and she definetly did not asked if her daughter need couselling or whatever advice you thought she wanted to handle not knowing who her real father is.
OP got the opinion for free :cool:
Lawrence, these issues are important whether or not OP wants to discuss them. That's all.
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What is "Legal reality"? The court of public opinion? What law did she break? Yes mom lied to her child, so what? Do you have any idea why she did? Maybe you need to find that out why before calling someone a lier. I am sure she has her reason.
The fact is that Mom lied. Someone who lies is a liar by definition. The reasons? Well, I'm sure Mom does have her reasons....but it doesn't change the bottom line. This child is about to have her entire life uprooted when she finds out that Dad isn't actually Dad. It's a serious matter.
In all honesty I care far less about Mom and Dad's comfort level than I do about the welfare of the child.
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Yes, I agree. But I do know this. The courts try to do what best for the child. If they feel that this man took on the role of the "father", they will lean toward making him "father". And like I mention before the difference between claiming two children or three children might not be worth the effort. That is for the OP to decide.
He's not the child's father, period - he has no legal standing, rights or obligations to the child.
I do agree that the difference between 2 and 3 kids might be fruitless anyway.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Dogmatique
OP got the opinion for free :cool:
Lawrence, these issues are important whether or not OP wants to discuss them. That's all.
It is now okay to give out free opinions? I remember that next time you give me grief about one of my free opinions.
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Dogmatique
The fact is that Mom lied. Someone who lies is a liar by definition. The reasons? Well, I'm sure Mom does have her reasons....but it doesn't change the bottom line. This child is about to have her entire life uprooted when she finds out that Dad isn't actually Dad. It's a serious matter.
In all honesty I care far less about Mom and Dad's comfort level than I do about the welfare of the child.
The lie is about the child not the mom and dad. It is told so that the child doesn't feel different from his or her siblings and usually told the truth when they can fully understand the situation. Let keep it real...You using "liar" in a negative way, not a grammical way. Ever wonder why children adobted at birth don't know until they are adobted until their teens or adults. Are the parents liar too?
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Dogmatique
He's not the child's father, period - he has no legal standing, rights or obligations to the child.
I do agree that the difference between 2 and 3 kids might be fruitless anyway.
If that is true, why are children born under wedlock, but the bio-father is not the husband, yet the husband automatically is the father and assumes all rights and obilgations of being the father?
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
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Lawrence084
It is now okay to give out free opinions? I remember that next time you give me grief about one of my free opinions.
Tie a knot in a piece of string so you don't forget ;)
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The lie is about the child not the mom and dad. It is told so that the child doesn't feel different from his or her siblings and usually told the truth when they can fully understand the situation. Let keep it real...You using "liar" in a negative way, not a grammical way. Ever wonder why children adobted at birth don't know until they are adobted until their teens or adults. Are the parents liar too?
Yes, they are. Part of the problem is that this kind of thing makes adoption look negative...something to be hidden, something shameful, something to be shushed up, put away. There is no reason why an adopted child can't be told the truth - in an age appropriate way - from the beginning. Get it out in the open. There is no shame in adoption, and hiding it can lead to all kinds of trouble.
It can completely break the trust between the child and the parents and the feeling of betrayal can be extremely traumatic.
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If that is true, why are children born under wedlock, but the bio-father is not the husband, yet the husband automatically is the father and assumes all rights and obilgations of being the father?
Because...that's the law. And in that situation yes, the child deserves to know the truth.
Re: Child Support from Current Husband for Child of Another Relationship
I am right and wrong....
I thought California was one of two states to exclude this law, but the fact is California is one if not the only state to include this law:
In the State of California. If the step-parent has taken on the day-to-day role of parent and the child has come to see the step-parent as the parent is liability imposed. In fact our rule is so strict that only if the step-parent has reprented to the child that he is the true parent intending the child to rely on that and only if the child believed that to be true is liability imposed--in other words the step-parent has to have interferred with the child's ability to know that someone else out there is the true parent. He can be ordered to pay child support for that child.
This is very difficult to prove but it is possible in the State of California.