Seeking Custody Change

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: TN.

My husband and I are considering options for seeking custody of his 2 children from their mother. We currently have them 2 weekends a month. Our reason for looking in to this is due to the fact that the mother now works nightly at a local bar and comes in at 3 and 4 am. The children are in school and must stay with grandparents nightly. My husband does worry about if the kids need help with school work and if they feel left behind. They ask us when they stay with us if they can just stay. We do not know how we would go about this or what are the grounds for changing? I also think it is horrible when a 6 year old tells you "mom might send Papaw to meet you because she was drunk last night and is sleeping in". Any thoughts are appreciated.

There needs to be a significant change in their circumstances before custody will be modified.

Mom getting a job (good for Mom!) late at night is not going to be anywhere near enough, nor is her getting drunk afterwards going to affect things specially since the children are being well taken care of by their grandparents.

Also, you will not get custody - any and all actions will involve only your husband.

Now with all that said - are you saying that the children sleep at the grandparents' away from Mom?

Or does Mom live with her parents?

The children do sleep at their grandparents...
Yes, I know that he would actually be "him" and not "we". We are thankful that she is working and not living off the child support only as she was before. Nothing major has changed... things I know.. is a boyfriend staying over while the kids are there, a child needing to go to the dentist and still has not been taken..the father has been reminding since April, the child has allergies and mom continues to smoke in the car with the girl and boy, and when we show up to get them...they are standing on the roof of the car while mom sits inside. My husband worries about the schooling because the boy struggles with reading and once he is home from school and on the weekends his mother is gone to work by 4 pm.

Does Mom live with the grandparents?

There's a reason for my question :)

She does not live with them.. however sometimes she will just come back there to sleep we have been told by the kids after work.

If Mom is not living there, and the kids are effectively "living" with the grandparents Dad may have a reason to request a change in custody. However if Mom can show that she basically sleeps there with them too his chances drop dramatically.

Does Dad have joint legal custody?

Ok thankyou.
I believe his is joint legal... they do talk about any major decisions to be made.
We just werent sure of the circumstances that have to be going on. I do not know how often she does stay although we know never on the weekends but I am sure that Wed-Sun night the children are for sure with the grandmother unless we have them with us.

OK, if he has joint legal then he can take the kids to the dentist himself, and he can monitor their allergies etc. without needing permission from Mom.

Is there documentation that the allergies are caused or exacerbated by cigarettes smoke?

I do know in their papers she is the one who will take them to the dentist/ regular doctor checkups. And we live in another town so only see them on weekends so no dental options.. which is why they had put she would be responsible for all that and only has to talk to him about major. The doctors have said allergies... we werent there so dont know exactly but every time we get her she is runny nose, watery eyes and then the next morning its not as bad...so a friend of family who is in nursing suggested it is the smoking because that is the major difference in the environment. Thanks for your input its appreciated.

I'll be brutally honest here - I think Dad has an uphill battle ahead of him if he files to modify custody.

The dental issue might become an important factor depending on the state of the kids' teeth, and the fact that the kids sleep over at grandparents' house without Mom present may be in his favor.

However, if their teeth are basically fine and Mom and the grandparents insist that Mom is coming home to their house most nights, Dad really doesn't have much else.

I recommend Dad at least have an initial consult with a local attorney.

ok. thanks for your info. yeah, the childs tooth is very bad. he had a cap on it that has came off leaving the tooth exposed and he often says it hurts when he drinks anything. ok. we will look at attorneys in the near future. thanks again.