Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arizona
My girlfriend is the primary physical custodian having joint custody with her ex husband. Her 6 year old daughter spends 2-3 hours every Saturday going with me to a hobby club while my girlfriend is working. During the time her daughter is there with me, she spends her time in an air conditioned building watching movies, coloring, etc., and I spend most of the time there at her side doing inventory and fixing equipment. The daughter finds it boring, but says the people there are very nice and polite to her. There have been instances where I have been right outside the building doing yard work, checking in on her every 5-15 minutes. Her father expressed concern over this arrangement after hearing about it and I invited him to visit the club on a Saturday when I could show him around.
We had arranged for him to come by and make the visit this past Saturday, but I was ill, advising him we would have to reschedule for another day; he decided to go there without me and take a look around, after which, he emailed my girlfriend stating he didn't feel it was a safe situation.
He felt due to there being adult males there and the daughter not being watched every single moment including when she would go to the bathroom, that she was in a dangerous environment where she could be kidnapped or molested. The father has a history of being over-protective. He expressed concern because she was not being walked to the bathroom and because some of the members talk to her. He also expressed concern because he was invited into the club to walk around and check it out. I guess he felt there should have been a doorman checking identification and then comparing information to the national sex offender registry before allowing admittance.
The club is outside of town with very little traffic and almost every single person that attends is not a newcomer to the club. The club has less than 6 people that attend each Saturday and each person is well-known to me and have families of their own. The mother has been to the hobby club, has met the people there and trusts that her daughter will be fine during the time spent there with me.
The father has threatened to call CPS if my girlfriend continues to allow their daughter to go to the club with me, but she has no alternative arrangements; she works, has no available funding for a babysitter for that time, and no family in the area. The father offered to watch the daughter from Friday evening until after she gets out of work on Saturday, but refuses to make the entire drive, wanting to meet in a mid-point location. He feels it's unreasonable for him to drive the 30 miles to our city and then back again to babysit for a few hours, even though he is the only one who feels that it's not appropriate for the daughter to go to the hobby club with me.
My girlfriend feels her daughter IS safe with me and sees it as unnecessary to make alternate arrangements for care. Her allowing their daughter to spend Friday through Saturday evening also would cut into her parenting time if she allows her daughter to spend those Friday evenings with the father. He has stated if she wants to have a third party determine the appropriateness of care, she is welcome to do that, but he is prepared to call CPS if she doesn't comply with his demand to stop allowing their daughter to attend the hobby club with me on Saturdays.
As primary physical custodian, does she have he right to choose care arrangements despite the father disagreeing?
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
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Quoting
Ken_Allen
My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Arizona
My girlfriend is the primary physical custodian having joint custody with her ex husband. Her 6 year old daughter spends 2-3 hours every Saturday going with me to a hobby club while my girlfriend is working. During the time her daughter is there with me, she spends her time in an air conditioned building watching movies, coloring, etc., and I spend most of the time there at her side doing inventory and fixing equipment. The daughter finds it boring, but says the people there are very nice and polite to her. There have been instances where I have been right outside the building doing yard work, checking in on her every 5-15 minutes. Her father expressed concern over this arrangement after hearing about it and I invited him to visit the club on a Saturday when I could show him around.
We had arranged for him to come by and make the visit this past Saturday, but I was ill, advising him we would have to reschedule for another day; he decided to go there without me and take a look around, after which, he emailed my girlfriend stating he didn't feel it was a safe situation.
He felt due to there being adult males there and the daughter not being watched every single moment including when she would go to the bathroom, that she was in a dangerous environment where she could be kidnapped or molested. The father has a history of being over-protective. He expressed concern because she was not being walked to the bathroom and because some of the members talk to her. He also expressed concern because he was invited into the club to walk around and check it out. I guess he felt there should have been a doorman checking identification and then comparing information to the national sex offender registry before allowing admittance.
The club is outside of town with very little traffic and almost every single person that attends is not a newcomer to the club. The club has less than 6 people that attend each Saturday and each person is well-known to me and have families of their own. The mother has been to the hobby club, has met the people there and trusts that her daughter will be fine during the time spent there with me.
The father has threatened to call CPS if my girlfriend continues to allow their daughter to go to the club with me, but she has no alternative arrangements; she works, has no available funding for a babysitter for that time, and no family in the area. The father offered to watch the daughter from Friday evening until after she gets out of work on Saturday, but refuses to make the entire drive, wanting to meet in a mid-point location. He feels it's unreasonable for him to drive the 30 miles to our city and then back again to babysit for a few hours, even though he is the only one who feels that it's not appropriate for the daughter to go to the hobby club with me.
My girlfriend feels her daughter IS safe with me and sees it as unnecessary to make alternate arrangements for care. Her allowing their daughter to spend Friday through Saturday evening also would cut into her parenting time if she allows her daughter to spend those Friday evenings with the father. He has stated if she wants to have a third party determine the appropriateness of care, she is welcome to do that, but he is prepared to call CPS if she doesn't comply with his demand to stop allowing their daughter to attend the hobby club with me on Saturdays.
As primary physical custodian, does she have he right to choose care arrangements despite the father disagreeing?
It depends.
What is the EXACT wording of GF's and ex's court order regarding custody and visitation?
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
Generally Mom can decide on child-care during her parenting time, even if they have joint legal custody but it depends ENTIRELY on what the actual order says.
Why on earth is he even considering calling CPS?
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
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Xena
It depends.
What is the EXACT wording of GF's and ex's court order regarding custody and visitation?
What specifics would you like to know about the custody and visitation? He has joint custody with Mom, but mom is the main custodial parent. He visits her less than 40 days per year.
It does say "The children will be in the care of the Mother all other times when not visiting with the father."
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Dogmatique
Why on earth is he even considering calling CPS?
He thinks the daughter is unsafe, but the mom feels she is completely safe, so it's a conflict between the two parents.
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
It says nothing at all about daycare?
Is there a ROFR (right of first refusal) clause?
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
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Dogmatique
It says nothing at all about daycare?
Is there a ROFR (right of first refusal) clause?
There is no mention of daycare arrangements or a ROFR clause.
The only thing that comes close is that the decree states "Parents agree to consider each other as care-provider for the children before making other arrangements".
He lives roughly 70 miles away (typo in original post).
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
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Quoting
Ken_Allen
There is no mention of daycare arrangements or a ROFR clause.
The only thing that comes close is that the decree states "Parents agree to consider each other as care-provider for the children before making other arrangements".
He lives roughly 70 miles away (typo in original post).
Okay. Thank you for clarifying that :)
At 70 miles away, I'm not sure ROFR is even feasible, let alone reasonable.
But truly, that court order is terrifically ambiguous and I can see both parents being able to argue their point.
Mom's point: It doesn't say that Mom MUST hand over kiddo to Dad if she's going to be gone a few hours, therefore if she leaves kiddo with you (or anyone else) for a couple of hours she shouldn't be penalized.
Dad's point: It DOES say that a) the child will be cared for by Mom (ie, not a third party, not daycare etc) when the child isn't with Dad and b) both parents must consider the other first before making other arrangements - so Dad should be able to take kiddo when Mom is working.
Quick question though.
Who created the distance?
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
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Quoting
Dogmatique
Okay. Thank you for clarifying that :)
At 70 miles away, I'm not sure ROFR is even feasible, let alone reasonable.
But truly, that court order is terrifically ambiguous and I can see both parents being able to argue their point.
Mom's point: It doesn't say that Mom MUST hand over kiddo to Dad if she's going to be gone a few hours, therefore if she leaves kiddo with you (or anyone else) for a couple of hours she shouldn't be penalized.
Dad's point: It DOES say that a) the child will be cared for by Mom (ie, not a third party, not daycare etc) when the child isn't with Dad and b) both parents must consider the other first before making other arrangements - so Dad should be able to take kiddo when Mom is working.
Quick question though.
Who created the distance?
Due to financial considerations mom was forced to move in with her family 70 miles away.
Legally, can he do anything about her continuing to allow me to take the daughter with me to the hobby club as means of child care, regardless of his opinion on the safety? The mom finds it completely safe for her to be with me at the hobby club.
Re: Non Custodial Parent Disagrees with Childcare Arrangement
If it goes to court, Dad will have to show a large amount of good evidence to prove the child is not safe when she is left with you.
My husband and I just went thru these same issues with his ex, we live in Arizona as well. They share joint custody, and she is the primary custodial parent. Their orignal court order had nothing in it about daycare arrangements. She leaves their son with her mother while she works, and there have been MANY problems. He's is physically getting hurt more then a 2 year old should, gets into bleach, literally has cockroaches crawling on him when we pick him up, etc. These people (his grandparents) had CPS called on them because of how disgusting their home was and convicted of child neglect a few years back. We had proof of all of this. Pictures of the childs condition after we picked him, witness statements, etc. Even after all that, the judge still granted that she is allowed to leave the child with whoever she wants on her designated days.
Point being, if he takes it to court, it will be a waste of his time. I just wanted to give an example to show how difficult it would be for him if he does. A lot of it does depend on the judge they have as well. Who was the judge in their case?
Having a lot of gray area in the court papers can cause a lot of issues so I do suggest that IF it does go back to court, they make things more specific.