Ex is Not Paying Child Support

My question involves child support in the State of: New Jersey

My ex husband is supposed to be paying me child support in the amount of 950.00 a month for 3 children. I retained the marital home and it is listed in the divorce that he would sign a quit claim, and that I was responsible for mortgage payments and property taxes. Please note his name is still on the mortgage until I can obtain one myself.

I fell behind on the property taxes so my ex decided that instead of paying his child support he would withhold all but 92.00 a month to cover the cost of the property taxes.

His actions have left me and the children in a serious financial situation. I was advised to file an enforcement suit and request wage garnishment by child services.

My question is: Can he withhold my child support to pay the tax bills on the home?

Child services says no, but Im very stressed out waiting for my court date the end of September.

I cannot afford an attorney so I filed the paperwork myself. Yet I think Im nervous because he is bringing his attorney. When I asked child services they told me I dont need a lawyer for something so cut and dry...

HELP! Id like to sleep for just one night!

I think he's required to follow the order as its written. If he wants to make a change then he needs to go back to court and request a modification.

He absolutely CANNOT legally withhold the child support in that manner.

Absolutely not.

That is weird that he did that. Because now he'll lose that money and still owe you for the nonpayments. And if I read your post correctly, he get nothing if you sell the house, but get bad credit rating if you fall behind on the mortgage. He doesn't benefit all by paying the taxes for you, if the house is in your name. Paying the mortgage would make a lot more sense, but on the other hand he still would end up n the arrears, so now he in arrears and that will effect his credit rating in a negative way. So he loses either way an now he dug himself a deeper hole to climb out of.

I wondering how you are late with your property tax and not with your mortgage. I own 3 houses in NJ and never paid property tax. It was always included in my mortgage payments.

THANKS! I appreciate the responses!

Lawrence084: My taxes are not included in my mortgage payment. Its an option that we took when we refinanced the home about 8 years ago before our seperation.

The house is still listed in both of our names because my exhusband hasnt signed the quit claim yet. It was written in the divorce by his attorney, signed by my ex, and signed by the judge that he would sign a quit claim, but each time I asked him to sign it he has gotten nasty with me and refused. This is one of the counts that I have listed on my enforcement suit that is scheduled for later this month. Ive been told in the past by my attorney he has no choice but to sign it....he agreed to it.

As far as the mortgage goes, I agreed to allowing him to forward my alimony money each month to the mortgage company, until I can stand alone on the mortgage or I sell the home. This was done as protection for him and his credit rating.

NO where in any agreement did I agree to him withholdig CS for any reason, taxes or otherwise.

I honestly can understand his concerns over the taxes but it brings us back to the fact that had he have signed the quit claim as ordered years ago his name wouldnt be listed on that tax bill!

Our divorce clearly states that Ive agreed to the withholding of Alimony for the mortgage, but then states that all taxes, utilities, repairs, insurance are the sole responsiblity of me.

To Dogmatique and DistressedmomThank you very much for you advice! I suppose Im just looking for some support or for others to tell me I can win this case. Im at times very intimidated about the hearing because of him bringing his attorney and Im representing myself.

Family and friends have pointed out that he may quite possibly be bringing an attorney for many reasons, one being to have the arrears wiped away beings he used the money for the taxes, two because he doesnt want a wage garnishment as that may be quite an embarrassement at work for him with the owners of the company.

What I dont understand in all this is he has told me that his attorney told him to do this to me, so if he cant do why would an attorney tell him to???? Somebodys not telling the truth!

Your ex husband was advized to have his kids pay the property taxes?

No....He claims his attorney told him to withhold my child support and pay the property taxes with the child support.

OH no! I know now that Im tired and need some sleep! I just realized what you were saying cissycicle! lol In other words child support is for the children so they in turn are paying the property taxes.....imagine that only 13 & 16 and they have taxes to pay already! LOL

In a word, No he cant not pay child support to pay another bill you need to pay instead.

Simply because him pay the bills at YOUR house doesnt make any sense what he can argue though is a couple things'

"she asked me to pay this bill so the children dont lose the roof ever their head and now she wants me to also pay her, she set me up"

"I was truely afraid that her incompetence was going to result in my children being out on the street without a roof, I have no place for them to go so I figured the best option was to make her keep the house since she isnt able to manage her money"

Im not saying he can legally do any of that but he can plead to the judge and the judge COULD take a sympathetic responce to that.

I am thinking his arguement is going to be on the lines of paying off a bill (Property tax) that is required to pay by the state and its the same state that is inforcing the CS. There no grey line when it comes to property taxes. They must be paid. So by him paying them frees up money that would normally goes to paying the property tax. Something you can't write off and must be paid and it state money he paying.

Not sure he'll win with that areguement and NJ is really strick on NCP so it will surprise me if he wins, but I do see some thought on the subject, because it is state money he paying off.

My question is why did you file? If everyone is right (Which I beleive they are), you are actually doubling your CS payments. Think about it. You actually have your ex by the !#$ and he not even aware of it....There is a lot of CP that would love to have thier EX paying a must-paid bill and accumulating arrears at the same time.

He cannot legally withhold child support in this manner, and the State cannot allow him to do so ;)

The State CAN deviate the next time child support is modified though...which may essentially (and eventually) amount to the same thing backwards.

An agreement which provides for re-imbursement of property taxes paid by the NCP would require a modification to the property settlement, not a modification to court ordered cs. The funds would be deducted from the CS's portion at closing.

Right. Plus, the parent getting child support decides how the money is spent. There may be other necessary expenses for the children. The NCP cannot dictate how that money is used.

UPDATE

I recieved a cross motion from his attorney today. He is claiming that I was in default of the Property Settlement Agreement because the taxes were not paid in a timely manner on the home. He is asking the courts to allow him to continue to withhold cs to pay the taxes and he is asking them to require me to list the home for sale immediately.

What does any of that have to do with him supporting his children?????

Can you further explain what you mean by: (Im not following you)

The State CAN deviate the next time child support is modified though...which may essentially (and eventually) amount to the same thing backwards.
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Quoting Dogmatique

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He cannot legally withhold child support in this manner, and the State cannot allow him to do so ;)

The State CAN deviate the next time child support is modified though...which may essentially (and eventually) amount to the same thing backwards.

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Im not following you on your post about the State can deviate? Can you explain. Thanks!

Call your county Bar Association and see if you can get a referral for a family law attorney. Many offer low cost or free 30 minute consultation. This might be the time to talk to a lawyer.

Trading child support for property taxes makes no sense.

I agree and I think he figures Ill back down due to his cross motion. But Im NOT! These children need to be fed and clothed and I cant do it on 300.00 a week I make at my job nor should I have to ....Its his job to do half of the supporting! Not sure I want to get a lawyer, I cant afford one and I dont see what I need to defend. Im only guilty of being late with tax payments. Hes not paying child support so he sure does need his attorney.

Any other thoughts on wether I should borrow money for an attorney??? Or stay in this without one. If I retain one than I imagine the court date will be postponed again and thats even longer the kids will go without.

In NJ, when does non payment of child/spousal support become "felony non payment of support"? This is far reaching, but you might benefit from researching the issue of financial/emotional abuse. The act of denying support to minor dependant children is without doubt viewed as abuse. Does non payment of CS reportable to the credit reporting agencies? That is much more damaging than a delinquent property tax issue.

If you retain counsel, it's possible that the NCP would be ordered to pay the fees if the courts decide that the request to deny support for children is clearly a losing argument.

Oh I would definitely say this is a case of financial/emotional abuse. My children know something is wrong, they saw me get the package last night, they can see Im upset too. They came to me last night and asked when is their Dad going to see that when he tries to hurt me he hurts them too? They have had enough and deserve some peace in their lives also.

If I dont retain counsel at this point but feel the need to once the hearing in underway can I approach the judge and ask him to adjourn and give me time to seek counsel based on the fact that Im not feeling its in the childrens and my best interest to continue without representation???

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Quoting susan0426

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Oh I would definitely say this is a case of financial/emotional abuse. My children know something is wrong, they saw me get the package last night, they can see Im upset too. They came to me last night and asked when is their Dad going to see that when he tries to hurt me he hurts them too? They have had enough and deserve some peace in their lives also.

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Reads like you are using your kids to get back at the father. Give him some credit, he is paying. He is keeping a roof over you and the children head. There is a huge difference between paying mandatory property taxes and not paying at all.

I am not saying he right. He is wrong!!!. But he is not a dead-beat dad.

This thread reads like he is keeping that peice of white papers from being glue to your front door with the words "Forclosure". He might be doing more for you-all children then you are giving him credit for. Being homeless, moving to a cheaper place, moving out of the school district to a more affordable place, or moving back home with the parents, with 3 children is no joke.

I know what you are saying and you are correct in wanting the money in your hands. It is your right and you are entitle to it. Just don't think you need to make an it issue with the children, when in retrospect he is doing something. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't warrent him to look bad in front the children.

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Quoting Lawrence084

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Reads like you are using your kids to get back at the father. Give him some credit, he is paying. He is keeping a roof over you and the children head. There is a huge difference between paying mandatory property taxes and not paying at all.

I am not saying he right. He is wrong!!!. But he is not a dead-beat dad.

This thread reads like he is keeping that peice of white papers from being glue to your front door with the words "Forclosure". He might be doing more for you-all children then you are giving him credit for. Being homeless, moving to a cheaper place, moving out of the school district to a more affordable place, or moving back home with the parents, with 3 children is no joke.

I know what you are saying and you are correct in wanting the money in your hands. It is your right and you are entitle to it. Just don't think you need to make an it issue with the children, when in retrospect he is doing something. Just because you don't agree with it doesn't warrent him to look bad in front the children.

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In the event that the ncp had no legal interest in the house, the support would be paid as ordered without regard for the impending foreclosure. The ncp does not have the legal authority to garnish the income of the cp for the purpose of protecting his credit history.

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Quoting cissycicle

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In the event that the ncp had no legal interest in the house, the support would be paid as ordered without regard for the impending foreclosure. The ncp does not have the legal authority to garnish the income of the cp for the purpose of protecting his credit history.

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I agree 100%.

You are assuming he doing it to protect his credit history.

It is possible he doing to keep a roof over his children head.

Either way he wrong!

My point that you quoted was on the lines of how is proceived to the children. Either assumption shouldn't make him look bad in front of his own children. His actions are benefiting the children. No matter what his intentions are.

The mom needs to get the child support as ordered and she in turn can use it to pay the taxes. I am sure both parents want to keep a roof over the kids head. Besides, when did it become legal for a NCP to decide how child support is spent? The NCP has to follow the order as its written. If he doesn't like it then he has to go back to court to have it modified.

Im not saying he is right but a couple issues

I havent heard a child say those things unless they have been told that the NCP is doing damage, it sounds like she is playing the kids against him, in wich case even though a protection of parental disputes is assumed in every divorce it should be mentiuoned in the court order.

Another point to make is that if he pays her it doesnt mean she will pay the taxes, she didnt and thats how they got where they are.

So lets keep this straight, he isnt paying support, she isnt paying her bills.

now another reason his lawyer could say to pay the taxes is so in the case when she gets in trouble for not paying bills she could try to get the courts to up her pay to keep the kids off the street, we all know that if a mother is in trouble they will come after the father to keep the kids safe. It could also be a sign that they are planing to come into court claiming she they had to pay and that she is an unfit mother that only makes $300 from her job so since he is financially stable he should get the kids.

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Quoting TheJKH1999

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Im not saying he is right but a couple issues

I havent heard a child say those things unless they have been told that the NCP is doing damage, it sounds like she is playing the kids against him, in wich case even though a protection of parental disputes is assumed in every divorce it should be mentiuoned in the court order.

Another point to make is that if he pays her it doesnt mean she will pay the taxes, she didnt and thats how they got where they are.

So lets keep this straight, he isnt paying support, she isnt paying her bills.

now another reason his lawyer could say to pay the taxes is so in the case when she gets in trouble for not paying bills she could try to get the courts to up her pay to keep the kids off the street, we all know that if a mother is in trouble they will come after the father to keep the kids safe. It could also be a sign that they are planing to come into court claiming she they had to pay and that she is an unfit mother that only makes $300 from her job so since he is financially stable he should get the kids.

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Not so much, in real life.

I would also hope that his attorney is MUCH smarter than to waltz into court saying that Mom is unfit because she's only making $300/month.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Not so much, in real life.

I would also hope that his attorney is MUCH smarter than to waltz into court saying that Mom is unfit because she's only making $300/month.

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She makes $300/Week.

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Quoting distressedmom

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The mom needs to get the child support as ordered and she in turn can use it to pay the taxes.

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It is not that simple. He was paying child support and she fell behind on her taxes, so he decided to pay the taxes with the child support.

He is wrong.

But it does means paying the child support will not in turn pay the taxes.

Then that bolsters my point even more... ;)

More money does not the better parent make.

(Though admittedly it does help provide...)

Id like to say that I appreciate all the advice here I have received but do not appreciate anyone referring to me as an unfit mother because of my wages. I earn an honest decent living and I work hard to take care of my children.

My ex husband is the one that walked out on me and 4 children because he was having an affair with a friend of mine. I stayed here and cleaned up the mess he left behind and continue to do so.

Did he pay the taxes because he's a loving caring father and wants to keep a roof over his kids head?? Id like to think so but I doubt it! No caring father drags the mother into court asking the judge 2 times now to have his exwife and children forced out of their home by selling it, so that he can have his name removed from a mortgage and go off to live his life as he chooses with his girlfriend. A loving father puts his childrens needs first as does a loving mother.

Had he signed the quit claim 3 years ago when he was supposed to his name would have been removed from the tax bill.

Also in the state of NJ there are tax leins placed on the property until the taxes are paid or paid at the time of the sale. I would be the one to have to pay them out of my profits at settlement as I am according to my divorce SOLE OWNER of the home.

He has no right to tell me how to spend my money as I dont tell him what to do with his either.

Im sorry if I sound defensive but Ive spent 21 years married to this man who emotionally and at times physcially abused me. He still continues to abuse me emotionally since he left home 6 years ago so I know his motives and his line of thinking.

As for my children I never play them againest their father. Ive never denied him any time to spend with his children. My children are 25, 22, 16 & 14....Id say at that age they are intelligent enough to know that something is wrong with their mother and there is a problem in the house. They also need to know that we have to cut our spending and find a way to survive until this is settled. They have been wonderful about it all and are doing there best to not pick sides as I have not asked them to, Id never want my children to feel badly about their father, all that does in life is cause a child more pain and divorce causes children enough pain......

Sorry if Ive upset anyone, but I really just wanted you to all know the facts so you understand just what Ive dealt with all these years. Dont want sympathy, I just want to take care of my kids, and live in peace.....

Thank you Dogmatique! No amount of money makes anyone a better parent. Your post made me smile! Its what you do and how you love your children. When I close my eyes each night I know my kids love me & respect me. Not all parents can say that.

Susan, I don't think anyone called you unfit.

I think the other poster's point was that this MIGHT be what Dad is trying to do - somehow imply that you're unfit because you don't earn as much as Dad. Frankly Dad would be a complete and utter idiot if he tried to do so.

:)

I understand your side. It make perfect sense and very understandable.

But do you see his side of the problem? His name is still on the mortgage. By you neglecting not to pay the tax on the property, you will never get his name off the mortgage. So he can't sign the quick claim, because his name will remain on the mortgage and he will be 100% liable something he doesn't own.

You are really put his back against the wall and forcing him to pay the taxes and at the same time you want your CS payments.

You really left him no choice. He screwed either way. CS agency going to do their part or State of NJ going to get their part. Either way you put him in a bad situation and he had to make a choice.

I just don't see why you are making this out to be a case of a NCP doing something selfish.

This seem more of a case of revenge on your part...

And yes, he has to get you to sell that house because his name is still all over it and you are not doing anything to get his name off of it. In fact you are doing thing to make sure his name will never be taken off of it.

You left him no choice but to take you to court to get you to sell. It is the only way he ever going to be free of it.

I don't understand why you think he is wrong to do so.

Who do you think the creditor(s) are going to come after when it time to collect? The one with the most money. I think you already know that.

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Quoting TheJKH1999

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Im not saying he is right but a couple issues

I havent heard a child say those things unless they have been told that the NCP is doing damage, it sounds like she is playing the kids against him, in wich case even though a protection of parental disputes is assumed in every divorce it should be mentiuoned in the court order.

Another point to make is that if he pays her it doesnt mean she will pay the taxes, she didnt and thats how they got where they are.

So lets keep this straight, he isnt paying support, she isnt paying her bills.

now another reason his lawyer could say to pay the taxes is so in the case when she gets in trouble for not paying bills she could try to get the courts to up her pay to keep the kids off the street, we all know that if a mother is in trouble they will come after the father to keep the kids safe. It could also be a sign that they are planing to come into court claiming she they had to pay and that she is an unfit mother that only makes $300 from her job so since he is financially stable he should get the kids.

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Let's not forget that the cp is paying the mortgage payments with the court ordered spousal support. As was acknowledged by the cp, the delinguent taxes will appear as lien on the property and satisfied by the sale of the house. No prior collections will be initiated. Further, cs is exempt from garnishment which I believe is designed to protect the minor children. His lawyer will be saying nothing other than "I'm an inexperienced buffoon who advized my client to disregard the terms set by this court".

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Quoting cissycicle

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Let's not forget that the cp is paying the mortgage payments with the court ordered spousal support. As was acknowledged by the cp, the delinguent taxes will appear as lien on the property and satisfied by the sale of the house. No prior collections will be initiated. Further, cs is exempt from garnishment which I believe is designed to protect the minor children. His lawyer will be saying nothing other than "I'm an inexperienced buffoon who advized my client to disregard the terms set by this court".

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The part about delinguent taxes will appear as a lein on the property and satisfied by the sale of the house is not true.

What happen is, one day you walk out your front door and you notice people examing the outside of your house and trying to get a peek inside by walking by the open windows. Then out of the blue, a friend and/or family member tells you that your house has been listed in the paper and on the state website with a due date for you to pay your property taxes...If you don't call in by the due date your house goes to the next phrase. After a few more phrases and notices to pay by a due dates, you then get the notice on the door that the house has been sold.

If you didn't have to pay property tax until the house was sold, nobody would pay them and the state would be left with a lot of houses owning more than its worth.

In the event a property owner fails to pay property tax, depending on state law the property may be subject to either a tax deed sale (whereby the property is sold outright for unpaid taxes, interest, and collection fees) or a tax lien sale (whereby a lien is sold to a purchaser, who after a specified time may either take over the property or force its sale).

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Quoting cissycicle

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Further, cs is exempt from garnishment which I believe is designed to protect the minor children.

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Problem (or issue) is the NCP is not exempt.

Lawrence084 this has nothing to do with revenge. What it has to do with is that I simply dont have enough money coming in to keep the taxes current. Ive looked at the option of selling the home the last couple of years and have had 2 realtors (both family members - one my cousin and one HIS cousin), and both have told me its not the time to sell because of whats owed still on the property vs what I can get for it with the current shape the market and economy are in.

Just so you see that Im not doing this out of revenge.....He left here 6 years ago, since the day he left here my CS payment has remained the same. His income has increased and NOT ONCE did I go to him or the courts and ask for a raise in CS. Yet I have the right to ask every 2 years in the state of NJ. AGAIN ----I DIDNT ASK AND HAVENT RECIEVED!


You talk about revenge, Im honestly educated enough to know that anything I do to hurt his name and credit hurts mine too. Do you honestly think Im foolish enough to allow that to happen? You sound as if any repercussions with a creditor only hurts him ...well your wrong they hurt me too!

Do you have children sir? You sound as if you have some unresolved issues and a very bitter man when it comes to women and CS. Your posts ramble on and on about the poor father and the NCP. Sounds to me like your a bitter person, very bitter.....

So lets go back to square one here shall we???? He should have signed the quit claim from the get go and he wouldnt be here today! I never asked for this house. The deal was you take the house and leave my 401k alone. I agreed and found out last year that when he gave it to me he was well aware that there were taxes already owed on the home and there wasnt much equity due to a tax lein that was placed while he was married to me. Id say he dumped his problem real quick didnt he?

Secondly, since when does a person your not married to get to waltz in your home and dictate how you will pay the bills and uses your cs funds?

Thirdly, whats more important...if you only have a said amount of money to work with and you have to choose between a full tax payment or a partial so you can feed and keep you children warm which do you pick????

And lastly, would I be wrong to say that all he had to do with this was come and talk to me and work out arrangement to pay the past due taxes with a PORTION of the CS. They do accept partial payments at the tax office but instead he chose to act as if he was in control of my life and took all the cs and passed it to the tax office of our local town.

So your aware I have tried to refinance on my own. Do you know how difficult that is whem half of your income is based upon alimony/child support? Each time I was told that alimony and child support are a risky form of income that I would have no control over recieving. Mortgage companies want to know how Im going to pay if Daddy goes Dead Beat?? I was even denied and told this by the bank I work for!

Theres nothing in the world that would make me happier than to have his name off the mortgage, mortgage company says no deal he stays, refinance company says no deal in case he runs off....so you tell me where do I go from here???

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Quoting susan0426

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I agreed and found out last year that when he gave it to me he was well aware that there were taxes already owed on the home and there wasnt much equity due to a tax lein that was placed while he was married to me.

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In New Jersey, property taxes are a continuous lien on the real estate. Property taxes are due in four installments during the year: February 1, May 1, August 1, and November 1.

In other words, every three months, your municipality puts a lien on your property for taxes, until the taxes are paid. If those taxes are not paid, the municipality will sell a "tax lien certificate", which is where someone else pays your taxes, and then the certificate holder has a lien on your property.


After two years, a lien holder can begin proceedings in Superior Court to foreclose on the property. If foreclosure is perfected, then the name on the deed is changed to that of the lien holder who can then take possession of the property.

From The State of New Jersey website.

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Quoting susan0426

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Lawrence084 this has nothing to do with revenge. What it has to do with is that I simply dont have enough money coming in to keep the taxes current. Ive looked at the option of selling the home the last couple of years and have had 2 realtors (both family members - one my cousin and one HIS cousin), and both have told me its not the time to sell because of whats owed still on the property vs what I can get for it with the current shape the market and economy are in.

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I apologize. "Revenge" is too harsh. But you are not a victim that you are portraying yourself to be. Maybe "Naive" is the word I should be using.

Accepting to take the house in your settlement was your decision. Deciding not sell the house is your decision. Not paying the property tax and not getting his name off the mortgage is your problem that came with the house that you decided to take. Which is all good, but your decisions and problems directly effect your Ex. He making decision hard choices based on your decisions and problems. Bottom-line, when the collector(s) come looking for their money, they are coming after him first. Bank account, tax refund, possible wage, garnishments, property lien(s), ect...What choice did you leave him. Every member on this forum can tell you that he is wrong, but how many would tell you they wouldn't do what he doing, and how many of the ones that say they wouldn't pay the tax lien over paying you, would still say that when the collector(s) start digging in to their finance.

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Quoting susan0426

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Just so you see that Im not doing this out of revenge.....He left here 6 years ago, since the day he left here my CS payment has remained the same. His income has increased and NOT ONCE did I go to him or the courts and ask for a raise in CS. Yet I have the right to ask every 2 years in the state of NJ. AGAIN ----I DIDNT ASK AND HAVENT RECIEVED!

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Yes, that true, but you do get an cost of living increase every two years and to go to court and ask for money means you have to prove that something substantial has happen to warrant it. It is not as easy as walking into court and getting it.

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Quoting susan0426

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You talk about revenge, Im honestly educated enough to know that anything I do to hurt his name and credit hurts mine too. Do you honestly think Im foolish enough to allow that to happen? You sound as if any repercussions with a creditor only hurts him ...well your wrong they hurt me too!

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This is the point I think you are "Naive" about. Not paying property tax results in a lot more getting bad credit score. When the State of NJ wants their money they are going to get it and they are not going after the person with 4 children and hardly making ends meet....

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Quoting susan0426

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Do you have children sir? You sound as if you have some unresolved issues and a very bitter man when it comes to women and CS. Your posts ramble on and on about the poor father and the NCP. Sounds to me like your a bitter person, very bitter.....

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Yes I have a 19 year old daughter, and yes I am bitter, but it has nothing to do with women and CS, it is against people taking advantage of the system. I am bitter toward NCP, CP, men, and women who take advantage of another person.

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Quoting susan0426

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So lets go back to square one here shall we???? He should have signed the quit claim from the get go and he wouldn't be here today! I never asked for this house. The deal was you take the house and leave my 401k alone. I agreed and found out last year that when he gave it to me he was well aware that there were taxes already owed on the home and there wasnt much equity due to a tax lein that was placed while he was married to me. Id say he dumped his problem real quick didn't he?

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You mention this several times. He can not sign a quit claim while his name is still on the mortgage. Why? Because instead of you not paying the property tax, you will stop paying the mortgage. Either way he is fully screwed if he signs that quit claim. No one in their right mind would ever sign a quit claim and leave their name on the mortgage.

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Quoting susan0426

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Secondly, since when does a person your not married to get to waltz in your home and dictate how you will pay the bills and uses your cs funds?

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When their back is against the wall because their CP won't pay her bills that have their name tied into their faulty lack of payments.

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Quoting susan0426

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Thirdly, whats more important...if you only have a said amount of money to work with and you have to choose between a full tax payment or a partial so you can feed and keep you children warm which do you pick????

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Feeding the children. I never said you are in the wrong about going after your money...

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Quoting susan0426

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And lastly, would I be wrong to say that all he had to do with this was come and talk to me and work out arrangement to pay the past due taxes with a PORTION of the CS. They do accept partial payments at the tax office but instead he chose to act as if he was in control of my life and took all the cs and passed it to the tax office of our local town.

So your aware I have tried to refinance on my own. Do you know how difficult that is whem half of your income is based upon alimony/child support? Each time I was told that alimony and child support are a risky form of income that I would have no control over recieving. Mortgage companies want to know how Im going to pay if Daddy goes Dead Beat?? I was even denied and told this by the bank I work for!

There is nothing in the world that would make me happier than to have his name off the mortgage, mortgage company says no deal he stays, refinance company says no deal in case he runs off....so you tell me where do I go from here???

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Bottom-line, you accepted the house without researching the value and unpaid debt that was attached to it. You also accepted it knowing the amount you make and the number of expenses you have. He taken you to court twice to get you to sell the house. Now, years later, the debt is coming due. Once again, who do you think going they are go through the system to collect? Who back is really against the wall? Who the victim and who trying to take advantage of the system?

If you win...(which I believe you will) he will be in one huge financial mess. Why? Because of your decisions and the problems that you have.

You are not the victim.

I think its just best to say we disagree. I didnt come here to debate wether Im "naive" "revengeful" or "an unfit mother" because I dont make a huge salary. I came here for legal advice to help myself as Im representing myself in court. But before I end this debate with you, you need to read my posts better so your informed of the facts before you pass opinion and you need to do your research on CS in NJ along with tax liens in the state of NJ.

1. I DO NOT get an automatic cost of living increase in NJ for CS. I have to petition the court every two years to get an increase. Gee havent done that! So guess Im not so good at taking advantage of the system huh???

2. In NJ the state does NOT come after you for unpaid property taxes. They are bought and paid for by a private party or institution with a lien placed on the property.

3. He GETS to pay the mortgage every month. He pays it with my alimony funds. He requested it in a motion and I settled with him outside of court on it along time ago. I stated this already in my posts. SO IF ANY creditor comes knocking on his door for the mortgage payment then hes got no one to fault but himself.

4. I am not a victim in regards to the unpaid taxes. My children are the victims to a bad situation created by both parents. Me for not have enough income and a good enough paying job and for making bad choices. And their father for a list of reasons too.

Thanks to all for the advice I do appreciate it!

I have got to say that Lawrence... you sir, are my hero.

I haven't the need to type anything. I agree with you wholeheartedly. This man is screwed one way or another, and perhaps the adult children need to chip in on the property taxes on the house and the cost of the upkeep (if they still live there).

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Quoting susan0426

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2. In NJ the state does NOT come after you for unpaid property taxes. They are bought and paid for by a private party or institution with a lien placed on the property.

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So, when you say in your previous post that a tax lien was placed on your property, do you mean that an investor had purchased a tax lien certificate?

If so, I'm just wanting you to understand that they have the right to foreclose after two years of owning that certificate if the past due amounts plus interest are not paid. Perhaps your ex is attempting to prevent foreclosure.

thank you, I do understand this can happen. But choices have to be made in life. Id like to fix these problems but not sure how to start.

Lawrence, you and your arrogant friend clerkcourt, are certainly complete and utter asses. Do me a favor and stay away from my thread. You have nothing constructive or helpful to add just a constant barrage of bashing me. Thats not what I came here for and Im sure you've done the same to others. You remind me of my ex husand....you come across as an arrogant, self serving, egotisical, unfeeling person. How sad for you......Dont you think Im dealing with enough ?? Did I need to come here to be beat up by you too? How sad that theres a place for people to come to find support and advice and then be treated this way and have to walk away.

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Quoting CourtClerk

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I have got to say that Lawrence... you sir, are my hero.

I haven't the need to type anything. I agree with you wholeheartedly. This man is screwed one way or another, and perhaps the adult children need to chip in on the property taxes on the house and the cost of the upkeep (if they still live there).

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Yipes! That is downright scary to even suggest that the minor children assist the ncp in his quest to engage in evading the terms of the cs agreement . If that were a viable solution, wonder why the courts haven't suggested that. When tax time comes around, would those children be entitled to a portion of the homestead property tax credit?

While I don't necessarily agree with Lawrence, you are posting on an internet forum. You are going to get all opinions, not just the ones you like. In one breath you say you don't appreciate being bashed, then start calling people arrogant asses. A little pot calling the kettle black IMO.

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Quoting mamaluv

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While I don't necessarily agree with Lawrence, you are posting on an internet forum. You are going to get all opinions, not just the ones you like. In one breath you say you don't appreciate being bashed, then start calling people arrogant asses. A little pot calling the kettle black IMO.

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If there's any pot around here, please pass it my way!