Change of Circumstance for Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

Hello, a few months back I went through a child custody battle with my ex. The judge decided to leave everything where it’s at leaving the boy with me and the girls with their mother. Even though the custody evaluator testified against her informing the judge that she indeed is an unfit parent, the judge left everything the same (we didn’t have any more money to appeal the decision). At the time she did have her "own" place to live (even though DCF ended up paying for like 3-4 months of rent), but that’s beside the point. Till this day she still doesn’t work, lost her apartment, and is still using drugs (I can tell by her physical appearance). I just found out that she is leaving with her brother who has a new born child, his girlfriend and she has my two girls plus her other daughter from another father in a two bedroom apt and the four of them sleep on one bed and all four share 1 room. Just today I had a court hearing for child support against her b/c she doesn’t do anything for our son, while I pay child support for my two daughters every month. The judge for some reason was trying to raise MY child support b/c he felt it was not enough for her, mind you I was there to put her on child support not for child support modification, so that she can support our son in some way. I felt that was very unfair on his part b/c till this day she hasn’t done anything for our son and he has been with me since he was 2 yrs old now he is 7 yrs old! I dropped the whole thing and let everything be... If she doesn’t want to do anything for her son I'm not going to force her anymore. Now my questions are could the judge have done that even when her child support case is held in duval county/fl and mine was held in broward county/fl (two different jurisdictions)?

And my second question is I read in another post of yours that a senior member wrote: "Having that many people in the house is not illegal nor does it impact custody unless they're all sleeping in the same bed in the same room" so I was wondering if that can relate to my situation, because I really want my girls to reside with me, she has my girls doing bad with her for no reason. She obviously uses the money I pay her in child support for the girls to support her drug habit and everything else, but take towards my girls, I just can’t prove it. There is no reason why my girls have to be looking like that and in need of anything. She is still mad about how our relationship turned out and is taking it out on my girls. Everyone around town keeps telling me that my girls including their mother are looking very bad (I reside in another city). What else can I do to get my girls away from her?!? We already have a time sharing schedule, neither one of us trust each other, (so it’s not being followed the way it should). Every time she gets our son she refuses to give him back and she’s scared to leave the girls with me because our oldest daughter together will tell me the truth about what’s really going on with their living conditions and she doesn’t want me to know. Please what else can I do? For some reason it seems that everything I try to do to help my kids it’s not valid enough. It seems like women have way more lead way even when all they do is lie and start problems and aren’t doing what they should be doing for their kids (this was only meant for the women who are not taking care of their responsibilities as mothers). Please let me know what else can be done?

You have many questions, but I can for sure answer one.

If she is not following the court order, and you have documented that it has happened more than once, you should file contempt.

But I wanted to know if what the judge tried to do at my child support hearing is fair and allowed and also if I wanted to file contempt against her is her staying in a two bedroom apt with her brother, his new born, his girlfriend and she's sleeping with her 3 daughters two of them being mine sharing one room sleeping on one bed and she still hasn't changed as far as getting a job, still on drugs (can tell by physical appearance) lost her apt, is that enough to file for contempt.

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Quoting Tiredoflies78

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But I wanted to know if what the judge tried to do at my child support hearing is fair...

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Did you file a seperate petition on the same case number, or did you file a petition for a modification of the existing case?

What was the title and exact wording of the pleading that you filed asking for CS from ex?

I filed CS against my ex for our son in my jurisdiction (which its in a completely different city) with a completely different case number, so that is why I dont know what was wrong with the judge? I wasnt asking for hundreds of dollars I was just asking for something enough to help support her son. Style: Department of Revenue, et al Petitioner vs. XXXX XXXX XXXX Respondent... Im not sure want happened in there...

I also also wanted to know if I wanted to file contempt against her if her staying in a two bedroom apt with her brother, his new born, his girlfriend and she's sleeping with her 3 daughters two of them being mine sharing one room sleeping on one bed and she still hasn't changed as far as getting a job, still on drugs (can tell by physical appearance) lost her apt, is that enough to file for contempt.

Wait - what exactly are the sleeping arrangements?

Ex and her daughters sharing one bed?

How much of this can you actually prove?

From what my ex admitted to my mother (our kids grandmother) when they were in speaking terms, she informed my mother that she is living with her brother,his girlfriend, and their newborn baby. She also admitted it to my fiance over the phone and she gave her their apt house number (she said until she can do better). Our oldest daughter also informed my mother when my ex had let my two girls spend the weekend with my mother that they live with their uncle and that they share one bed in one room (which would be my ex,my 2 girls 11 yrs old and 5 yrs old, and her 14 yr old daughter from another father) while their uncle shared a room with his girlfriend and their child. I have asked her numerous times to let me get our daughters so that she can get back on her feet, but she refuses. She has my daughters going thru this struggle with her for no reason.

I am not sure if there is a law about the number of people sleeping in a room or bed.... BUT I would think that a judge wouldn't be fond of it.
You can also look into the building codes (or occupancy laws) in the area. Does the uncle rent? If so, maybe informing the landlord of this sleeping arrangement may affect things also.
In addition, filing for contempt has nothing to do with the sleeping arrangements, all it is in a sense is telling the judge that parent is not following the court order. The judge will probably give (given the severity of it) the parent a stern warning. After many contempts that are found in your favor (mom going against court order), SOME judges may switch custody based on that fact.
And what I have come to realize (and yes this is my personal experience, not proven law or fact) is that hearsay doesn't mean anything... it is not proof. So ex telling grandma what is going on may not get you as far as you think it should.
But I think that if you think the girls' mental well being is being hurt, I would suggest a modification.

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Quoting Tiredoflies78

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From what my ex admitted to my mother (our kids grandmother) when they were in speaking terms, she informed my mother that she is living with her brother,his girlfriend, and their newborn baby. She also admitted it to my fiance over the phone and she gave her their apt house number (she said until she can do better). Our oldest daughter also informed my mother when my ex had let my two girls spend the weekend with my mother that they live with their uncle and that they share one bed in one room (which would be my ex,my 2 girls 11 yrs old and 5 yrs old, and her 14 yr old daughter from another father) while their uncle shared a room with his girlfriend and their child. I have asked her numerous times to let me get our daughters so that she can get back on her feet, but she refuses. She has my daughters going thru this struggle with her for no reason.

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The problem is that none of this proves anything.

And you need proof.

ok, thanks