What to Do If Your Spouse Files for Divorce
My question involves divorce in the State of: Michigan
I don't even know where to state. I met a very nice girl online about 2 and a half years ago. We are both in our mid 30's and things were good, I mean we had our ups and downs but I was happy, I thought she was too.
We ended up getting married last year, had a baby this year.
This are falling apart now. We seem to fight a lot which is mostly due to her being exhausted from working full time, and raising three kids, two of which are teenagers. I try to help but she seems to think I cant manage the baby so she is always overworked on and witts end.
We keep having stupid arguments that turn physical and please understand I've NEVER touched my wife but she has hit me with fists, objects etc several times. Hurts my heart more then me, I've never called the cops.
She has decided to file divorce. Unfortunately, I gave up my life where I lived and moved an hour to move into her house. She wants me to leave now.
I have no where to go, not only that I don't want to go. I want her to seek consoling with me, she refuses. I want things to work, I want to be there for my baby girl. I just don't know what to do.
What happens in these causes where a child is involved and I've moved out my house, given up job etc to move in with her? I feel like I'm going to end up in the street and not be able to see my kid.
I dont even know what to think. I try to be peaceful with my wife. She says very hurtful and mean things. Tells me she hopes I die etc. If she could find a way to kill me and not get caught she would etc.
I'm just not sure if we can fix this.
Sorry if this seemed like I was rambling, I'm somewhat upset.
I don't know if this matters but drugs, well pot anyway are involved. I do not smoke but my wife does. Some of the fights we have are directly related to her not being able to smoke, she gets put on such edge she just snaps to easy and takes it out on anyone within distance. I've asked her to stop, she wont.
Re: What to Do If Your Spouse Files for Divorce
Hey RoadBlock
I am sorry for your pain. i know how that would feel cause me and my wife too our going through the same and about to get divorced as well again.
We got divorced last year and then reconciled before our divorce was final. Now we are back to our whole ways, like yours minus the physical abuse but verbal abuse. Still not good. anyhow it is tough to be in your shoes. Seems like you are trying to make things better and she wants no part of it. "Once a woman is fed up nothing can change their mind" that is what my wife said and left. Are you verbally argumentative with her in a tough way cause they don't like that. We can fight and be happy in a couple of hours wanting to take our spouse out for a nice dinner and movie and they are like what is wrong with you.
Anyhow I suggest get therapy for your self. Forget her right now. You have a kid involved and it is definitely not going to be easy. I would fight for my new kitten that we got together, I can only imagine what a kid must feel like. You seem like you are trying to do all the right things. But therapy/counseling for yourself will help feel less pain, anger, resentment, failure, anxiety, sadness and every bad feeling the devil can give you. The counselor will not tell you what to do but it will help you to be heard and feel logically clearer. Rather than feeling like a victim you are going to feel a lot better and not lighter and not feeling a grudge towards her.
So my friend, I am no saint, I too have done things wrong, ask yourself where did I go wrong or is really just all her. My wife thinks to believe it is all me and not her at all. I know the things I do wrong and will continue to get help for it. Will she ? Probably not. "Cause first part of solving a problem is recognizing you got a problem". So you have to look it from that angle and not feel like she will listen to you or follow you or even know that her decisions are completely illogical and too demanding.
As for the pot, besides it being illegal there is really nothing wrong if she was using it to un wind is not bad. if it is keeping her from her priorities then yes. But if she is using as a glass of wine then I don't see no harm. People are popping pills and drinking a lot these days and that is LEGAL.
As for raising the kids and she thinks you cannot do anything, that too is a controlling woman think. They don't like anything about your habits and your thoughts and don't want to let your kids have any of that. Go figure ????? I don't get it either.
Anyhow from one comrade to another. Make the best of your worst situation. I too are in one right now. I am trying to divorce for the 2nd time to the same women all in 3 years. Thank God no kids but still.
I have always loved her more than life itself and sacrificed so much to be with her, even my own morals sometimes. What did that get me nothing. You are probably in one similar but looks like worse situation than mine. Hang in there, be strong, be positive, fight for you little girl now. Keep your head up and don't break like your wife. You will learn a tremendous amount from this and be better in the long run. Make a counseling appointment. I hope you have insurance cause then paying 20 bucks to let some professional neutral person hear you really helps right now.
Take care God Bless and hope you get through this. Remember what does kill you can only make you stronger.
Re: What to Do If Your Spouse Files for Divorce
Something just occurred to me, OP...you said she had the baby this year?
A new baby adds an incredible amount of new stress to a situation; could she also be suffering from post-partum depression?
Re: What to Do If Your Spouse Files for Divorce
Quote:
Quoting
Dogmatique
Something just occurred to me, OP...you said she had the baby this year?
A new baby adds an incredible amount of new stress to a situation; could she also be suffering from post-partum depression?
I was thinking the same thing Dog, especially with the other children being teens (which is stressful in and of itself).
Re: What to Do If Your Spouse Files for Divorce
Let me give you some advice.
If she doesn't trust you with the baby, do everything else in the house. Clean it, cook the meals, do the laundry... let her care for the baby.
You didn't mention working full time.....