Can I Keep My Kids

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Nebraska

I am stepmom to a 7 yr old boy and 6 yr old girl. My husband and I have had custody since June '09 because the BIO Mom stole cattle and forged the bill of sale. She knew she was going to do some jail time so we took her to court and got full custody. (Previously there was no custody order, just one for child support for my husband and we got to see them every other weekend.)

The problem now is that my husband is being deployed to Afganistan in May. My concern is our attorney has said there is a good chance they will go back to their BIO mom for that year. All the research I've done says she has to prove me unfit to keep them, and show why/how it would be in the kids' best interest to take them away from their school/activites. It will be nearly two years since we got custody when this happens.

We are currently in the process of filing with the court to have her held in contempt for violation of the custody agreement. She bleached our 6 yr olds hair (once before when she was 4 also) which is clearly stated that the custodial parent has final say in appearance, hair, etc. Our daughters hair was falling out because it was so dry and damaged. The BIO mom tried to tell us it was wash out and she told our daughter that "Daddy wouldn't even notice"--great parenting. We took her to the cosmetologist and had it deep conditioned and continued this at home for weeks. I have several photos and video of this.

She also violated her probation orders...(yes we have a copy!) she was to maintain employment after serving her 23 of 30 days in jail, (hasn't), was to pay child support, $100/month (hasn't), file her address/phone, etc. with the clerk of courts so we could persue her for the support (hasn't), she is also not to be around any firearms/ammunition or anyone who is (she just posted 40 pictures on facebook of the kids on her weekend shooting rifles and other guns) without mind you, hearing or eye protection. Needless to say my husband and I think we stand a fair chance of her going back to jail and hopefully getting to keep our kids next May.

Please let me know if anybody has any info on Step-moms maintaining custody and if you think there might be something we're overlooking. Thanks!

Were YOU actually named on the custody orders?

And..hon, it's not BIOMom.

It's just "Mom".

That's it. Just plain old Mom. And..they're not your kids.

:)

Oh but they are MY KIDS. Legally speaking or not, I'm more of a mother to them than she'll ever be, guess that's why they call me MOM.

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Quoting Stepmomoftwo

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Oh but they are MY KIDS. Legally speaking or not, I'm more of a mother to them than she'll ever be, guess that's why they call me MOM.

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:rolleyes:

This is about legalities. This isn't a support forum.

Legally, these are not your children and legally, you are not Mom.

I'm a stepparent - I KNOW what it's like. I live it every single goshdarned day.

However I also know my place.

Now, could you please answer the question? It's important.

Trust me, I get the "legalities". Only my husband is named on the custody papers. And maybe I'm wrong but.....I thought this was a "support forum" for finding the answers/links to our questions and concerns, not to be brow-beaten. Any judge who gets our case will be able to clearly see that BIO mom is a trainwreck who has no regard for anyones orders!

No, this is not a support forum. Sorry.

So, your husband is the one who got custody. This basically means that you have no rights against Mom, whatsoever. Trust me, even if you'd married him three years earlier, you wouldn't be on any custody orders. There's a little thing called the Constitution that protects Mom's rights above yours, every single time, until a court removes those rights.


Your attorney is correct.

Chances are, kids are going to go with MOM for the year; MOM doesn't have to prove a thing. You are a legal stranger.

The only way that you are going to get to keep your step kids is if their mother grants you permission to keep them. Have you tried asking her if she would consent?

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Quoting NdK1009

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The only way that you are going to get to keep your step kids is if their mother grants you permission to keep them. Have you tried asking her if she would consent?

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VERY reasonable question.

Actually, there may be another way, too, which just occurred to me. #2 is dealing with a similar military custody issue and since she just emailed me I was reminded.

However I guess I'm not allowed to respond anymore? :confused:

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Quoting NdK1009

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The only way that you are going to get to keep your step kids is if their mother grants you permission to keep them. Have you tried asking her if she would consent?

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She may actually consent all depends on if she's with someone who can pay for the kids and give her money like her current bf who she plans to wed "soon". They have been together 8 months and she married the last guy she dated and was divorced 3 months later. Not what most of us would call stable or a good judge of character.

I'm not interested in arguing over who should be called Mom, etc. Just want advice on how to keep these kids in my home...if step-fathers have rights I would like to think someone out there has run into a case of a step-mother keeping/gaining custody.

Who said stepfathers have rights? Can you point me to those statutes?