What Happens When Neither Parent Has Custody

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California.
Long story short, my cousin's wife (they have been separated for 4 yrs) is on drugs. Her ex-boyfriend (of 2 years) just called my cousin and said you need to come pick up your daughter-her mom is on meth. My cousin lives in Texas and has their son, she lives in Humboldt County, CA and has their daughter. Neither has legal custody, they haven't gone to court and are not divorced.
My cousin is asking me, since I live in CA, to go pick up their daughter and he will fly in within a week to pick her up.
My concern is, with no formal custody paperwork on either side, if her mom suddenly decides it's not what she wanted and he takes their daughter to Texas, can I be charged with kidnapping for taking their child and giving her to her father. The child is 6 and I have had temporary custody of her twice in the past. I believe her mother would give her to me, but will I get in trouble for giving her to my cousin without her permission?

Of course CPS have been called, correct?

And there is PROOF of the meth use?

Is the couple legally separated? If not, then to me it sounds like a simple case of mam and dad living apart, wherein each parent has all rights to each child. Therefore, if dad gives you written permission to pick up his daughter, you should be covered against kidnapping charges. The catch is that if mom shows up demanding the return of her daughter, you'll need to comply.

From a different perspective, if dad can make it to CA in a week, why not just let dad go pick her up personally? I'm not a fan of leaving a child in a bad situation, and I strongly urge dad to contact CPS, but this might be the least complex route to go.

I'm going to disagree somewhat; Dad does not have the unilateral right to give a third party permission to take the child out of Mom's direct care, against Mom's wishes.


Dad needs to get his butt to California; but more to the point he needs to get CPS involved.

I would never take the word of a disgruntled third party as proof of anything going on, when that third party hasn't bothered to notify the correct authorities that a child is in danger.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I'm going to disagree somewhat; Dad does not have the unilateral right to give a third party permission to take the child out of Mom's direct care, against Mom's wishes.


Dad needs to get his butt to California; but more to the point he needs to get CPS involved.

I would never take the word of a disgruntled third party as proof of anything going on, when that third party hasn't bothered to notify the correct authorities that a child is in danger.

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Good point, Dogmatique. Third parties should proceed with caution when contemplating whether or not to step between parents with equal rights to a child. Thank you for catching my mistake. Just as dad can grant permission, mom can just as easily deny permission. So, if you are going to try to pick up his daughter, your best bet is to do so with mom's (written) blessing.

OP, if and when dad gets his daughter, please tell him to immediately file for seperation and divorce and to include a temporary order granting him custody.

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Quoting NdK1009

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OP, if and when dad gets his daughter, please tell him to immediately file for seperation and divorce and to include a temporary order granting him custody.

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I'd usually heartily recommend this course of action :)


But in this case, Mom appears to have status quo on her side legally and Dad may - even if Mom lets kiddo go willingly - have a fight on his hands if Mom then changes her mind within a short-ish period of time. He may need to prove neglect or abuse (given that the child has been with Mom for so long) and since CPS have apparently not been involved he may struggle.

I strongly recommend Daddy speaks with an attorney immediately.

:)