Home Schooling and Child Support

My child is 17 and will be 18 in December.At the age of 16 He was checked out of school by his mom that said he was going to be home schooled .The problem is back two years ago I checked it with our States Home Schooling Program and my son never even enrolled into that program at all.Now getting close to the 18 year old marker and the ending of the Child Support.Now he states that he is in the Home Scholling program but sorry I just dont buy it!....My divorce states 18 years of age or a High School Diploma which ever come last.My question is how does the court look at this issue?It seems to me that he is waiting for the Child Support to nearly end before he say's oh yeah I just now enrolled into a Home School Program.

You pay according to your child support order.

When does your ex say kiddo's HSP is likely to end?

Well he supposely started Home Schooling back around Jan. 2006 which never took place.Now my son is saying that he has just began Home Schooling a few weeks ago.My Divorce say 18 or a High School Diploma what ever come last.So I guess he has taken himself a 2 year vacation to see if he wanted to finish school or not.

Just called the Texas Child Support Office and they told me that he was gonna have to enrolled into a legit Home Schooling program.So I called both of the Schooling Programs that we have here listed here in Texas.He isnt and has not ever been enrolled in either one of them.

Can you explain why you didn't address this issue in court 2 years ago?:confused:

Also who has LEGAL custody? (Decision Making Authority), Mom, You or Joint?

Well I did contacted the Texas Child Support Div. and what they told me was that I would have to pay CS no matter if he or if he wasnt enrolled in school till he turned 18.So my complaint didnt matter.His Mom is the Cust. Parent.

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Quoting Texas Dad

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Well I did contacted the Texas Child Support Div. and what they told me was that I would have to pay CS no matter if he or if he wasnt enrolled in school till he turned 18.So my complaint didnt matter.His Mom is the Cust. Parent.

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There is Psychical custody and LEGAL custody. LEGAL custody is decision making issues...ie...EDUCATION, medical, dental ...etc...

What does your court order state regarding LEGAL CUSTODY?

Whether your CS was affected is not relevant to your child's education. I am trying to ascertain if you actually CARE about your child's future. If you had Joint LEGAL custody, then your ex had no right to HS without your permission. You had legal recourse...Did you file a motion to show cause due to educational neglect? Did you file for a change of custody due to EN? Or is it all about the $$$$$?

:confused:

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Quoting Baystategirl

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There is Psychical custody and LEGAL custody. LEGAL custody is decision making issues...ie...EDUCATION, medical, dental ...etc...

What does your court order state regarding LEGAL CUSTODY?

Whether your CS was affected is not relevant to your child's education. I am trying to ascertain if you actually CARE about your child's future. If you had Joint LEGAL custody, then your ex had no right to HS without your permission. You had legal recourse...Did you file a motion to show cause due to educational neglect? Did you file for a change of custody due to EN? Or is it all about the $$$$$?

:confused:

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Just a guess here.... it's about the $$$$. Funny how all of a sudden (OP knew this two years ago) it's about homeschooling (aka, date of graduation). Guess I'm a bit jaded, since I'm a homeschooling mom of 5 children for the past 5 years, and I really get tired of hearing complaints from non involved parents about the issue because they have to pay support (or suddenly appear out of the blue and want to be 'super parent'). :wallbang:

What ever mamabear your opinon doesnt matter.It's very simple...Nobody is getting a free ride off of me...I want a Damn High School Diploma from his lazy ASS! or No Damn Child Support..It's thats simple!!!!

Your opinion matters even less, Texas Dad...the LAW matters.

Go ahead and stop paying child support.

See how fast that lands you in court ...

Seriously - you cannot withhold court-ordered support in that manner.

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Quoting Texas Dad

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What ever mamabear you opinon doesnt matter...Nobody is getting a free ride off of me...I want a High School Diploma or No Damn Child Support..It thats simple!!!!

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I never said that anyone deserved a free ride... however, if you were so concerned about your child's education, WHY didn't you address this TWO years ago when you first found out about it? I've got one son that was in the PUBLIC school system that didn't graduate until he was 19 and 1/2, and kids (2) that are homeschooled that will be graduating early (the younger ones are not even close enough to worry about yet). Where were you when you first found out about this?

Bottom line, until it came to the end of the line (for c/s), you weren't concerned. NOW it's an issue. What are YOU doing to help your child obtain that HSD???

LOL...Hell Dogmatique...The court is on my side over this issue.They are looking at it the same way I am and I just got off the phone with them and they arent happy about the Ex's educational neglect either...I'll will stop paying CS in Dec. when he turns 18 it's that simple...

Reading the posting Hx for this..."man"...is a must.

Hmmm, this isn't the first issue that 'dad' has had with his children, and yet, he's still yelling about whats wrong with the system (i believe with your daughter you called it child support fraud? I could be wrong, since I'm old and forgetful)? OMG, man, I've read your prior posts, and if you haven't stepped up by now (assuming of course that I can believe your other posts and take them as truth), don't look to a judge to do it. You want to adopt children that aren't yours, and not pay for those that are. First your daughter, now your son. Seriously, if you're looking for a support forum to vent in, there are many out there.

Never mind got the answer I need from a local attorney..LOL!...Thanks!..Actions will be taken against the my Ex...ASAP!

Make sure you have all your ducks in a row so you can cut CS off at 18.

If the kid essentially dropped out of school two years ago it shouldn't be an issue.

Thanks EA1970...Thats exactly what my Attorney told me...Which I have done and have already took the information over to him.He stated that it wasn't illegal for my son to enroll in a Home School Progarm at the last minute but it is illegal two skip out of school for two years and at the end of CS then to enroll at the last minute just to pro-long CS.He wants the Courts to Fine and Jail the Ex.

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Quoting Texas Dad

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Thanks EA1970...Thats exactly what my Attorney told me...Which I have done and have already took the information over to him.He stated that it wasn't illegal for my son to enroll in a Home School Progarm at the last minute but it is illegal two skip out of school for two years and at the end of CS then to enroll at the last minute just to pro-long CS.He wants the Courts to Fine and Jail the Ex.

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And this is going to help your children HOW? What are you trying to accomplish, an education for your child, or the end of your support obligation?

Sorry mamabear it has been taken care of ...The right way and the legal way!...The judical system is a Two Edged Sword and it can be used to cut both ways...

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Quoting Texas Dad

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Sorry mamabear it has been taken care of ...The right way and the legal way!...The judical system is a Two Edged Sword and it can be used to cut both ways...

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If you say so.

See mamabear...See what really bothers if (me or any other man) if we miss one single payment of CS then yall want us thrown in Jail.But when the table are turned then yall want us as men to have mercy because that is the mother of the child...Sorry Buddy I don't think so!..Like I said the Sword cuts both ways!

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Quoting Texas Dad

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See mamabear...See what really bothers if (me or any other man) if we miss one single payment of CS then yall want us thrown in Jail.But when the table are turned then yall want us as men to have mercy because that is the mother of the child...Sorry Buddy I don't think so!..Like I said the Sword cuts both ways!

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See, what bothers me Texas Dad is that I never said that. I don't want to see you or any other non custodial parent in jail, since the object is that you (and every other non custodial parent, or whatever they want to call them these days) are there for the CHILD. My personal issue with this is that you didn't bring up the issue when you found out about it, voicing your concern THEN when it might have made a difference. Paying support does not a parent make. Ask any child, and I'm sure you'll hear the same story. They don't care how much money that you make, whether rich or poor.... all they care about is whether you are there for THEM. We, as parents, teach our children to put money at the forefront, when honestly all a child wants is your love, support and concern. Where was this concern with your daughter? Is it not equally important that SHE get an education? What about your step child/ren that you wanted to adopt? C'mon dude.

A child doesn't ask to come into this world, and has no control of the environment that they are raised in. That's OUR job as the adults that created them. We are the ultimate teachers, we are the ones that shape their lives... so, have YOU talked to your son and let him know how you feel about his lack of education? Have YOU been a driving force in his ambitions to succeed? A father's influence is HUGE...... what have you done to make that influence positive, to give him the stepping stones to becoming a strong and caring man?

Oh yes I have and laid down the law to him and he knew I wanted answers of why he skipped out of school for the pasted 2 years and he admitted it was because school was to hard and he even admitted that he was just to lazy to finish!

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Quoting Texas Dad

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Oh yes I have and laid down the law to him and he knew I wanted answers of why he skipped out of school for the pasted 2 years and he admitted it was because school was to hard and he even admitted that he was just to lazy to finish!

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You know, I could actually learn to like you.... debating the issues are one of my strong points. lol

Ok, you 'laid down the law', but dad, when did you do it? When he told you that school was 'too hard' did you make an attempt to help him make it easier? What I'm trying to tell you is that just because mom had custody, with your involvement, things may have been different. How often is he with you so that he can identify with your moral values? You can't lay this one all on mom if you aren't there to show/guide him differently.

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Quoting Texas Dad

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LOL...Hell Dogmatique...The court is on my side over this issue.They are looking at it the same way I am and I just got off the phone with them and they arent happy about the Ex's educational neglect either...I'll will stop paying CS in Dec. when he turns 18 it's that simple...

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I'm calling complete and utter BS.

The court won't even TALK to you about a custody matter.

It's not legally permissible....

:rolleyes:

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Quoting Dogmatique

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I'm calling complete and utter BS.

The court won't even TALK to you about a custody matter.

It's not legally permissible....

:rolleyes:

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Dang it Dog, you're just too good. Looks like I should go back to my corner cause I can't play anymore. *pout*

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Quoting mamabear2102003

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Dang it Dog, you're just too good. Looks like I should go back to my corner cause I can't play anymore. *pout*

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Naw...I just get a little tired of this:

OP asks question.

OP given accurate information.

OP dislikes information and takes great umbrage when presented with the cold hard facts.

OP magically speaks to Judge/Attorney who of course says we're all wrong and simultaneously declares us all incompetent idiots or similar.

This often occurs over holiday weekends, oddly enough. You know...like it's maybe 7pm on Father's Day Sunday, and all of a sudden OP has managed to contact the Judge.

KWIM?

To OP - Please understand where I'm coming from here.

Court employees - the Judge included - are NOT legally permitted to discuss your custody case with you in the manner you've described.

Now I can believe that you've contacted an attorney. But called the court house and spoken to "them"? Meaning either the clerk, the Judge or similar?

Nope. Sorry - that's just not how it happens. Unless of course you have a rogue Judge?

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Naw...I just get a little tired of this:

OP asks question.

OP given accurate information.

OP dislikes information and takes great umbrage when presented with the cold hard facts.

OP magically speaks to Judge/Attorney who of course says we're all wrong and simultaneously declares us all incompetent idiots or similar.

This often occurs over holiday weekends, oddly enough. You know...like it's maybe 7pm on Father's Day Sunday, and all of a sudden OP has managed to contact the Judge.

KWIM?

To OP - Please understand where I'm coming from here.

Court employees - the Judge included - are NOT legally permitted to discuss your custody case with you in the manner you've described.

Now I can believe that you've contacted an attorney. But called the court house and spoken to "them"? Meaning either the clerk, the Judge or similar?

Nope. Sorry - that's just not how it happens. Unless of course you have a rogue Judge?

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Understood and agree.

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Quoting mamabear2102003

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See, what bothers me Texas Dad is that I never said that. I don't want to see you or any other non custodial parent in jail, since the object is that you (and every other non custodial parent, or whatever they want to call them these days) are there for the CHILD. My personal issue with this is that you didn't bring up the issue when you found out about it, voicing your concern THEN when it might have made a difference. Paying support does not a parent make. Ask any child, and I'm sure you'll hear the same story. They don't care how much money that you make, whether rich or poor.... all they care about is whether you are there for THEM. We, as parents, teach our children to put money at the forefront, when honestly all a child wants is your love, support and concern. Where was this concern with your daughter? Is it not equally important that SHE get an education? What about your step child/ren that you wanted to adopt? C'mon dude.

A child doesn't ask to come into this world, and has no control of the environment that they are raised in. That's OUR job as the adults that created them. We are the ultimate teachers, we are the ones that shape their lives... so, have YOU talked to your son and let him know how you feel about his lack of education? Have YOU been a driving force in his ambitions to succeed? A father's influence is HUGE...... what have you done to make that influence positive, to give him the stepping stones to becoming a strong and caring man?

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:wallbang:

I think you need to walk in the man shoes before passing judgment.

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Quoting Lawrence084

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:wallbang:

I think you need to walk in the man shoes before passing judgment.

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Lawrence, mamabear has made some excellent points in that post - and these are EXACTLY the same type of issues the court may take into consideration at any given point during a custody/child support dispute.

And re-read the thread - Texas Dad DID imply that all of us wimmin folk are the same and hold the same "jail us for nonpayment" attitude. Are you ok with him passing judgment?

If OP doesn't have joint legal custody, then mom can take the kid out of school to home school.

They could go back to court and fight about it, but it would likely be fruitless if CP has sole legal custody and it would cost a lot of money. Good luck going In Pro Per. Sometimes a NCP's hands are tied.

As for calling and talking to the court - it *is* possible to call and speak to someone at child support services about the matter. It sounds as if OP did just and is mistakenly saying he called the court. Read back - he says he spoke to CSS.

There's nothing wrong with wanting the CS payments to end. That doesn't make someone an unfit parent.

Not quite sure why everyone is jumping on this from a personal POV rather than a legal POV.

Legally, support ends at 18 unless the kid is still enrolled in HS. If CP deliberately took the kid out of school and was claiming to home school, yet didn't follow through with doing so, the court probably isn't going to reward her and drag support out for another year. I can't see it happening.

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Quoting Lawrence084

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:wallbang:

I think you need to walk in the man shoes before passing judgment.

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And all I ask is that you walk in your children's shoes.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Lawrence, mamabear has made some excellent points in that post - and these are EXACTLY the same type of issues the court may take into consideration at any given point during a custody/child support dispute.

And re-read the thread - Texas Dad DID imply that all of us wimmin folk are the same and hold the same "jail us for nonpayment" attitude. Are you ok with him passing judgment?

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The person that needs the lecture from mamabear is the CP.

Lawrence, from a legal perspective, the lecture would ideally be heard by BOTH parties.

NCP cannot fairly contend that CP is guilty of educational neglect if NCP themselves haven't done everything in their power to ensure that the child's needs are taken are of. That means checking up. Regularly. Co-parenting effectively. Making sure that if there's a problem, BOTH parents are aware of it. In this situation, both parties are guilty to varying degrees, because both parents are responsible (again to varying degrees).

The court WILL ask Dad the same things.

Now, I know it's Monday and that we're coming out of the full moon but can't we just hug it out now?

Come on. I even made Ghirardelli brownies.

Even though I know that the court was not involved in any of today's happenings.

:)

LOL...Oh yes your right they need to walk in my shoes...I will glady let them...I tell you what... I'll pay the rest of the CS until he turns 18 and which one of you got the balls to man up and if there is any to pay after than you can foot the bill any takers?..Dogmatique...Mamabear?I didn't think so...Neither one of you got the Balls!

Walk even two steps in my shows before you spout your mouth darling.

Love,

Someone who was widowed at a horrifyingly young age, who lost a child to death (not custody) and who still keeps on walking.

I WISH I could pay child support on my child.

Seriously Dog I Hate to hear that...But I have paid and keeped Insurance on my son for 17 years and never missed a payment and I really wanted him to get a good solid education and every time I pressed him about that his mom interfered and was always making me to look like the bad guy....

Hon, I really do get that.

But legally speaking those were the times when you should have pushed back - via the court system.

You couldn't have forced her to be a good parent, but there were plenty of things the court could have done - including modifying custody so that Mom was the NCP, if the educational neglect was serious and documented - to encourage her to actually be a parent.

The court system isn't easy to navigate and that's sadly where parents run into trouble. They feel helpless against a CP who goes out of their way to make it difficult.

But - and I'm saying this as gently as I can - ignorance is no defense.

The bottom line is that you need to have the current order modified.

Do NOT simply stop paying when he's 18 - that will only get you in further trouble.

Get your ducks in a row, as E already said, and get ready to file for a modification.

Thanks,and I have done just that yes I have called the Child Support Office today in the town we have it in and they did take note of what is going on.I asked them did they need copies of were the Ex took him out of school two years back state'n that he was going to be home schooled thru a College (which in turn he never even attempted to enroll in and I have copy to verify from that College that he wasn't ever there.)But here is what Ms. Powell said...Word for Word..Please keep all of your paper work and when your son turns 18 we will be sending your Ex paper work for her to fill out.If your son is being home school than it has to be legally done and be aproved thru the state.)Then they said for me to stay in touch till everything is okay and signed off.

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Quoting Dogmatique

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Hon, I really do get that.

But legally speaking those were the times when you should have pushed back - via the court system.

You couldn't have forced her to be a good parent, but there were plenty of things the court could have done - including modifying custody so that Mom was the NCP, if the educational neglect was serious and documented - to encourage her to actually be a parent.

The court system isn't easy to navigate and that's sadly where parents run into trouble. They feel helpless against a CP who goes out of their way to make it difficult.

But - and I'm saying this as gently as I can - ignorance is no defense.

The bottom line is that you need to have the current order modified.

Do NOT simply stop paying when he's 18 - that will only get you in further trouble.

Get your ducks in a row, as E already said, and get ready to file for a modification.

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You giving simple answers to a complex problem. Going to Court on papers sound great. But the bottom line a 16 year old boy who doesn't want to go to school and living with his mom who allowing him not to go, is a very tough hill to climb.

Do you think for one second that boy is going to claim he not going to home school training and that his mom is going to state he is not learning anything at home. As soon as that court date set, his home school training would have begin and ended after the hearing.

Dogmatique - Sincerely Sorry for your lost....