Ex Boyfriend Seeking 50/50 Custody in California

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: California

Ok heres the deal with my fiances daughter.

Her exboyfriend is seeking 50 50 custody now after she asked him for child support. Her daughter is 8 years old. Currently he pays for her privite school and has her for 20% of the time. Based on Calfornia Child supports website there child support calculator says he should be paying roughly $800 a month based on what he makes at work, her school is only $450. The only reason he wants 50 50 is because he doesnt want to pay her more in child support. My fiance is a stay at home mom at our house and her daughter is never in daycare when with us. At her dads house, him and his girlfriend (who he cheated on and left my fiance for 6 years ago) both work full time and would have his daughter in daycare during the daytime and before school. One of the main things that bother my fiance is that when her daughter is at her dads theres no structure or discipline at his house, everythings always fun and games. Going to dads house is like going to Disneyland, he has even said he lets her run around and do whatever she wants because we're "strict" with her at our house. If we were to go to court over this what are the odds of him getting 50 50 custody when he never wanted it before, til she asked for child support.

Thanx

He's absolutely entitled to file for more parenting time or a change in custody.

What goes on in Dad's house is honestly none of Mom's business; Dad can parent his child the way he wants.

Dad is also allowed to use daycare.

Nobody can really guess whether or not the court will change the current order; it depends on quite a few things.

Why would Mom not want her child to spend more time at Dad's place? She should be encouraging that, not trying to avoid it.

It is quite possible that he asking for 50/50 custody as a threat to get the other parent to lower CS. I was also in a 20/80 situation and when I asked for an increase in CS he asked for full custody. But I called his bluff. At the courthouse he ultimately dropped his request and agreed to pay according to guidelines. It is REALLY hard to be a disneyland parent if you actually have to be in charge of the child for any extended amount of time.

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Quoting 525601minutes

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It is quite possible that he asking for 50/50 custody as a threat to get the other parent to lower CS. I was also in a 20/80 situation and when I asked for an increase in CS he asked for full custody. But I called his bluff. At the courthouse he ultimately dropped his request and agreed to pay according to guidelines. It is REALLY hard to be a disneyland parent if you actually have to be in charge of the child for any extended amount of time.

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I'm not entirely convinced that in this particular situation Dad is being a disneyland parent...

...just a hunch.

One good thing IMHO about the CA system is that any time there is a change is the custody percentages, you MUST go to mediation first. Mom and dad are going to have to sort this out without the 'help' of the OP or any other step-parents.

If this goes to court or mediation, couldn't mom ask that she watch the child in lieu of daycare?

She could.

The father (non-custodial parent) of my fiancée's (custodial parent) daughter brought the same issue to court, and ended up getting custody of his daughter while my fiancée was at work, rather than her being put in daycare. He worked 3rd shift at the time, and she worked 1st shift. The issue there was that it was "too stressful" on him and his parents (his parents watched his daughter while he slept, he had his child removed from daycare because he didn't want to pay additional child support, but told the court that he wanted to spend more time with her). It lasted a month and then she was put back into daycare. Another modification was entered and he ended up paying more in child support because the previous order for child support had him listed as making approximately $3 less per hour.

In your case, the issue your fiancée is going to run into is that the court is going to view the mother as attempting to interfere with his parenting time since he is the non-custodial parent. By placing the child in daycare while he's working, what harm is he doing? He's providing her a structured environment (one of the mother's complaints), ensuring that she's fed, and providing her with social interaction with other kids her age. He's not doing anything wrong by putting her in daycare.

The mother of the child needs to accept that he wants to spend more time with her, regardless of the reason, because unless there is a legitimate argument as to why he can't, then he's likely to get the time that he wants. If the mother attempts to paint the picture of "he only wants more time so he doesn't have to pay child support" then it's going to backfire.

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Quoting ealexdixon

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If the mother attempts to paint the picture of "he only wants more time so he doesn't have to pay child support" then it's going to backfire.

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Certainly. But if that is a motivating factor in this issue, then depending upon how child support is calculated in her state, then the absence of daycare may also decrease the NCP's child support obligation.

Besides, I seem to recall evidence indicating that daycare was not preferable to remaining at home during the formative years (I'll find that citation and update this post with it shortly), and if dad is working, how is mom watching their child interfering with his parenting time? Also, would ROFR come into play?

I would ask if the extra $350.00 per month is even worth this.

Seriously? It must be nice to be able to blow off that much money. As a single mom I could do a LOT for my kid with $4200 a year.

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Quoting NdK1009

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Certainly. But if that is a motivating factor in this issue, then depending upon how child support is calculated in her state, then the absence of daycare may also decrease the NCP's child support obligation.

Besides, I seem to recall evidence indicating that daycare was not preferable to remaining at home during the formative years (I'll find that citation and update this post with it shortly), and if dad is working, how is mom watching their child interfering with his parenting time? Also, would ROFR come into play?

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Daycare for an 8 year old is normal and acceptable.

ROFR would only come into play if it's actually written into their current orders.