My question involves emancipation laws for the State of: WASHINGTON
I am new to these boards, and all I ask for is HELP not RIDICULE. I am 17 years old and have tried everything I can think of to help myself understand my parents and the rules for 17 year olds.
I have tried:
- Talking to my parents
Talking to my teachers/counsilors
Talking to my friends
Comparing situations with other 17 year olds
Reading and rereading the laws on emancipation
Trying to get a job
Searching for an apartment on my own
All I've ever been told is that I'm immature, that I don't know anything. Pardon me, but my friend's parents and even adults who are employed as managers at apartment complexes say I am very mature for my age and they always praise my level of independence. My parents always tell me that my friends and I are really stupid, immature, crazy, stupid and completely insane. I come home from school to be yelled at about my grades (I have A's and B's), about my choice of friends (I have less than 3 friends and they're all CLEAN and SOBER), about my choice in boyfriends (he's CLEAN, SOBER and DOESN'T ABUSE ME), about my actions (they don't want me to get a job or an apartment because they TELL me that I can't handle it).
I have made so many mock budgets in the last few months that I've actually dug a friend out of an $8K debt in less than 3 months. I've also made appointments ON MY OWN with MY phone and MY eMail with several apartments to talk about renting information and other information and just to gain general experience if nothing else.
I am unemployed. I have tried again and again to get a job the last two years and I've only ONCE out of over 100 jobs got a call and an interview. I realize that I need a job to get an apartment. I feel ready to gt out on my own so that I can have the freedom my parents say I have. In reality I don't have that freedom yet. They say I do, but really? Really? I can't date who I want? I can't decide for myself whether or not I'm ready to do something on my own? Really?
I'm less than 2 months away from turning 18. There's no time to get a job anymore. I'm going to go to the cops soon if someone doesn't give me a healthier responce than "just stay at home, you immature brat. you're too young to be thinking on your own".
17 and Fed Up
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05-30-2010, 03:51 PMpleasehelpme1717 and Fed Up
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05-30-2010, 03:58 PMDogmatiqueRe: 17 and Fed Up
Honestly - even if you qualified for emancipation (which you don't), there's no way on this planet that it would be granted in two months.
As for your questions about dating...yes, really. Until you turn 18, your parents are pretty much the law. What they say, goes. If they say you can't date X, then you can't date X.
Why on earth do you think the police will help you? -
05-30-2010, 04:00 PMcyjeffRe: 17 and Fed Up
The wheels of justice take longer than two months to get a court date.
At 12:01 on your birthday, move out. -
05-30-2010, 08:16 PMaardvarcRe: 17 and Fed Up
And even if you landed a job TODAY and a court date for TOMORROW, you've got to have a SOLID and DOCUMENTED employment history that has lasted long enough to convince a judge that you could maintain self sufficiency - and with only 2 months, there's no chance.
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05-31-2010, 06:45 AMLawResearcherMissyRe: 17 and Fed UpYes, really. Until you reach the age of 18, you are your parents' property.Quote:
I feel ready to gt out on my own so that I can have the freedom my parents say I have. In reality I don't have that freedom yet. They say I do, but really? Really? I can't date who I want? I can't decide for myself whether or not I'm ready to do something on my own? Really?
Life is pain, Highness. Anyone who tells you differently is trying to sell you something.
And you think the police are going to do...what, precisely? If I were the desk officer you ran crying to, I'd laugh at you and send you home, because you ARE immature if you think this is something meriting police involvement.Quote:
I'm going to go to the cops soon if someone doesn't give me a healthier responce than "just stay at home, you immature brat.
Move out on your 18th birthday. Then you'll have all the freedom you want. -
05-31-2010, 06:49 AMcyjeffRe: 17 and Fed Up
One thing to consider as you start packing...
Severing the bond between yourself and your parents goes both ways.
When you leave the house to go be a grown up, your parents can change the locks and never have any input into your life again.
They, too, are off the hook.
No money, no insurance, no contact, no laundry, no meals... not even a card on your birthday.
There are very few things more humiliating to see than a determined and insolent child come crawling home after a huge "I don't need you anymore and you can't do anything about it" scene.
Personally, I don't think you have any idea what the real world is like... for instance, you will never get an apartment without a job history...much less a job itself. -
05-31-2010, 07:49 AMcbgRe: 17 and Fed Up
I have tried again and again to get a job the last two years and I've only ONCE out of over 100 jobs got a call and an interview.
And this is the fault of your parents how? Couldn't possibly be because of your inexperience in a bad economy, could it? Do you REALLY think that if you move out of the house that will change your job prospects? -
05-31-2010, 07:58 AMaardvarcRe: 17 and Fed UpQuote:
Quoting lawresearchermissy
i love that movie!!! -
05-31-2010, 10:16 AMmamabear2102003Re: 17 and Fed UpHonestly sweetie, you are immature, and you really open yourself up to the 'brat' thing. You're two months shy of your 18th b'day, and poor princess doesn't like the rules. I think that you are overstating things just a bit here. You have your OWN phone and email? Without a job, how are you paying for them? People praise your level of independance? Who instilled that in you? If your parents are questioning your grades, your friends and your boyfriends, they sound pretty involved to me, so you can't claim neglect, only caring. There's 'no time to get a job anymore'? Really? You're 17, and there's no time? Hmmmm, what are you going to do for the next 50 years then?Quote:
Quoting pleasehelpme17
As you've been told, emancipation for you is NOT an option. You've managed to live with your parents for nearly 18 years, 2 months shouldn't be a problem. As you were told, you can move out at 12:01am on your 18th birthday, and live on the streets if you like (which is where you'll end up without a job/means to support yourself). Good luck with that sweetheart, cause goodwill of friends only goes so far. There WILL come a day in your life when you realize that being an adult and taking care of yourself isn't all it's cracked up to be. I've got five adult children that would be MORE than happy to give you the low down on that one. -
05-31-2010, 10:28 AMDogmatiqueRe: 17 and Fed Up
(I got two more!)
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05-31-2010, 10:42 AMmamabear2102003Re: 17 and Fed UpKids? LOL If so, I don't want 'em..... the five still at home (16,15,14,9 and 7), combined with the ones that we still have to help (32,30,26,25, and 22, plus my DIL (19) and all the grandbabies) are already a handful for me. ROFLMCAOQuote:
Quoting Dogmatique
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05-31-2010, 10:43 AMDogmatiqueRe: 17 and Fed Up
Your last name isn't Duggar, is it?
:p
;) -
05-31-2010, 10:50 AMmamabear2102003Re: 17 and Fed UpNO, NO, and NO!! LOL I can only dream of having the money they have to take care of that many kids!Quote:
Quoting Dogmatique
We're just redneck parents, living in the deep woods, trying DESPERATELY to get these kids to adulthood with a small modicom of morals and respect. LOL (Can't really complain, so this is just a joke. My children actually know what the terms responsibilty and morals mean, and they adhere to a lifestyle of working for what you get, and respecting those that help you get there!) -
05-31-2010, 10:59 AMDogmatiqueRe: 17 and Fed Up
You're evidently doing a fine job!
:) -
05-31-2010, 11:04 AMmamabear2102003Re: 17 and Fed UpAwww, you're sweet. *huggs*Quote:
Quoting Dogmatique
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05-31-2010, 01:19 PMPandorasBoxRe: 17 and Fed Up
First off, you have 2 months to go until you can walk away.
If I were you, I'd be concentrating on getting a job. And re-working your budget.
You are likely going to make Minimum Wage. You may not have full time hours. And you may have to pay Union Dues/Initiation Fees if you get a Union job.
It's not going to be as easy as you think getting an apartment:
- Right now you have no job. You have no credit history. Guess what you need to get an apartment? Both. You may need a co-signer for your lease, as if you get a job tomorrow, you won't have a stable job history, and you have no credit history. And not many people are willing to step up to the co-signing plate (it means, if you don't pay....they can be responsible)
- Most apartments require an upfront payment of First Month, Last Month, and Security Deposit. Do you have the savings to afford that? Seriously, for a $400 a month apartment, they want $400+400+Security.
- How are you going to get to your job when you find one? Have you added that expense to your budget?
- Does your budget include stuff like toilet paper, deodorant? Food? Utilities?
- Does your budget include stuff that you currently have, purchased by your parents, that they may not let you take? They may say "We purchased your bed, dresser, computer, stereo....we're not going to let you take that....". So there's something else to consider.
Look, sugar....I've been through the teen years. Maybe right now you think the rules are too tough. When you are older you will be grateful. Some of my friends ended up being teen parents. 1 had his first jail stint at 18. One classmate was dead at 19 from a DUI. -
05-31-2010, 07:22 PMmrshigginsRe: 17 and Fed Up
Just like everyone else has said, you can't do it. Not without a job, not without means to support yourself FULLY.
You are almost 18... 2 months away!
I remember when I was 16 trying to get the info on emancipation... ha, what a joke that was. I was even denied an apartment after turning 18 because I didn't have 4 years of history renting. I had everything else, but not that.
Anyways, I thought my father was the worst... trying to ruin my life. But in the end, he was trying to do right, and I honestly wish he would've been more strict with me.
It's not going to kill you... get a job, suck up to your parents cuz they will be the ones, probably only ones, to be there no matter what!
You should be happy that your parents are interested in your friends, boyfriend and grades. They are not stupid, they know what 17 year olds are thinking about. They know what teens do, even if you deny drinking, drugs, sex, etc. They know that this year in school is the most crucial for college....
Wait it out, take a step back and look at the bigger picture.
Mamabear---- holy crapola!!! I commend you for all of them! I would've torn my hair out after the 30 year old! -
06-01-2010, 06:53 AMmamabear2102003Re: 17 and Fed UpI hope the OP comes back and reads these posts, there is so much truth within all of them. Life isn't easy, but at 17, the decisions that you make may very well affect every aspect of your life going forward. A teen pregnancy, lack of education, being unable to support yourself and pay the bills (think credit record here), all have consequences on your future. I have been very fortunate with my children, they observed the situations that I conquered, and made conscience decisions to make their lives easier (yes, I was a teen mom), by pursuing their educations, which allowed them to get decent jobs. At 17 (and 20, 25 etc) they think they are immortal, that they can grab life by the shirt tail and ride it out. We lost our 21 yo son in March to a horrific accident, and thankfully, because he listened and observed during his upbringing, he provided well for his young wife and children. He stayed with a tough job (although it paid well, it wasn't a job that was pleasant most days), purchased the life ins and disability ins that I insisted that he have. We argued for many hours about the above, with him debating my opinion because of his age. We only found out after his death that he was only arguing to assert his independance, and had signed all the papers after initially talking to me. Sometimes kids just feel the need to argue with their parental units, but are still smart enough to listen without acknowledging. I'm hoping that this is the case with the OP.Quote:
Quoting mrshiggins
And mrshiggins, after the first couple of kids, you just go with the flow LOL. The older ones are your 'experimental' children, and you use what works, discard what doesn't with the rest in line. The older children often tell me that they wish that they had the same parents that the younger ones do! -
06-01-2010, 06:58 AMPandorasBoxRe: 17 and Fed Up
What Mrshiggins said....I totally agree.
Honey, I'm sure we all remember what it was like being a teen. I know my family was so overprotective that I was 21 with an 11 pm curfew! Seriously!
You know what? I'm grateful for that. Why?
Because I did not end up like some of my friends and classmates.
- I'm not the one who was DEAD at 20, out drinking and driving.
- I'm not the one who gave birth at 14.
- I'm not the one who had 3 kids and 2 abortions by the time she turned 20 - all with different fathers. In fact, the third one - she had to do paternity testing to decide who the father was!
- I'm not the one who was in Rehab for part of her Junior Year in High School.
- I'm not the one who got suspended at 15 for bringing alcohol to school.
Your parents seem to care. The things that bug you now...in a few years you will see through different eyes.