What to Do with CPS

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Quoting mking213

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No, I understood. Encourage a relationship between them and their sperm donor. I can do that.

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You REALLY missed the point.

Do explain then.

He's NOT sperm donor. He is DAD.

You need to understand that basic reasoning. Please, trust me, I get it. I know how frustrating it is/can be. But he's NOT sperm donor and frankly this has NOTHING to do with you at all, on a legal basis.

Stop treating him as if he doesn't matter. Because he does. He matters far more than you do.

Okay, wait. Let me get this right. She left him when she was 8 months pregnant, he doesn't bathe them for days. His visitations are sporadic at best. He's spent all of 30 days w/the baby and I've spent half her life with her. And because she sports his DNA he's the _father_? The _Dad_? Whatever.

What kind of "caring father" tries to get someone who's providing his children financially fired when he didn't have a job? Bravo!

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Quoting mking213

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Okay, wait. Let me get this right. She left him when she was 8 months pregnant, he doesn't bathe then for days. His visitations are sporadic at best. He's spent all of 30 days w/the baby and I've spent half her life with her. And because she sports his DNA he's the _father_? The _Dad_? Whatever.

What kind of "caring father" tries to get someone who's providing his children financially fired when he didn't have a job? Bravo!

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I never mentioned the word "caring" at all. Not once.

But the legal facts remain. He IS Dad. And you can "whatever" this, me, a message board, the situation, the courts, until you're blue in the face.

It doesn't matter. He's Dad. Your fiancee CHOSE him to be Dad.

(would it help to know that I'm actually a stepparent? That I understand on MANY levels the difficulty that involves?)

I know what you're saying, I do. I'm adopted and my "mom" and "dad" are my adopted mother and father. Society puts so much emphasis on the biological factor and none on the day to day factor.

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Quoting mking213

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I know what you're saying, I do. I'm adopted and my "mom" and "dad" are my adopted mother and father. Society puts so much emphasis on the biological factor and none on the day to day factor.

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When they adopted you, they became your legal parents. These children have legal parents - mom and dad. If you show "official" people the same disgust for dad's role in his children's lives that you have shown on this board, he may be able to use that to get custody of the children and then your girlfriend will be the one visiting them.

No one is telling you to back off and shift your perspective to be mean, everyone understands that the ability to reproduce does not make one a good parent, and many of us have or are loving stepparents. This is a legal board not a support board.

Your girlfriend needs an attorney. You need to step into the background and provide emotional support but stay out of the legal matters.

Wow - the dad sounds horrible... I wonder why the unemployed, pregnant woman who decided to live with you while she was still married to him - chose to have kids with this guy? Puzzling.
For the sake of these kids - let CPS do their job!! I am a CASA. I read files and files of social worker reports. Despite what makes it to the media - 99.9% of the time they get the information spot on.
I find it strange that they have scheduled three home visits of two hours each based on a single report by a source that is highly biased. While MOM may want to consult a lawyer, I get the feeling there is a LOT more to this story.