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  1. #1
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    Apr 2010
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    <miami Fl and Hamburg Germany
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    Default Moving With My Child to Another Country

    My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Florida

    Ok here it goes. My daughter is six and has lived with me her whole life. I have always kept a rapport with her father and given him his visitation whenever he asked for the sake of my daughter. We were never married, we have no custody order, he just pays child support. There was no visitation or anything stipulated in the child support order. Last June I came to Germany to marry my husband. My daughters father would not allow my daughter to come with me and threatend kidnapping etc... so I left her in his care or so I thought. I expected to be back in the states by now, but bringing my husband over will be a long and difficult process. I visited my daughter in July 2009 for her birthday and again after we were married in February of this year. Her father made it sound like everything is ok. However when I was with her n February, I found out she is not living with her father but his mom sometimes and other times his aunt. She only sees him once a week if at all. He has a house, but she does not have a room there. He rarely takess her to see my family, he changed her schools without my permission, her school lunch was not paid, etc..... It has been so hard being away from my child and then to find out she hasnt even been with her father. A child needs a home and I want her with me. I didnt take her the first time because I felt that it was in 'her` best interest to stay in the states with her family and friends, the emotional effect court fighting etc and I wouldn,t be here very long. Now I know I could be here 2 years or even indefinate I want to bring my daughter here as I can no longer stand being away from her and can bear the reality of the situation in itself. I can provide a good home and a stable one. I am still recieving the child support but I send it back to him for her. I wanted her to come during the summer to see how she likes it but he is refusing that too. I am her guardian , I have a passport for her, I want to go get her after the school year finishes. But I wnat this done right.... especially since he will try to hurt me anyway he can due to his hatred for me. I am currently in Germany and I want to do this the right way. I want my daughter with me What can I do? My income is very limited as I cant work in this country as of yet. Please any advice would be great

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Apr 2009
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    Somewhere near Canada
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Dad has an established relationship with your daughter; it's highly unlikely a court will grant you permission to relocate her out of the country against Dad's wishes.

    If you want to try anyway you'll need an attorney in the States.

    Even though you're the legal custodian, you basically agreed that Dad should have residential custody and that in itself (even if you were within the US) would be a challenge for you. When you say she's not living with Dad, do you have proof? Is she literally living with Grandma? Or is she having a couple of nights a week away from Dad?

    I'm sorry this isn't what you're going to want to hear but again you have a huge fight ahead of you if Dad contests the move.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    <miami Fl and Hamburg Germany
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Yes I definately have proof. The court can alo ask her even though she is 6 and she can tell them sometimes she lives at grandmas and sometimes she lives at aunties. She tells me she doesnt have a room and she wants to go "home". He is also a single full time firefighter which means 3 to 4 days a week he has a 24 hour shift. I know this is gonna be a battle but why do I have to suffer and he does not. If i could bring my husband home I would in a heartbeat and save all this aggravation I just dont know what to do or where to start

  4. #4
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    (I"m curious as to why you can't bring your husband back here?)

    You asked why you have to suffer and not Dad - well, the simple truth is you chose to leave your child here in favor of moving to Germany.

    A judge is not likely to place much weight on your 6 year old's word, I'm afraid; the fact that your ex actually seems to have a legitimate reason for not being home with kiddo is going to support his objections too.

    How much contact do you have with her?
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2010
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    <miami Fl and Hamburg Germany
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    No I didnt just choose to leave her here. I wanted to take her with me but didnt want to put my five year old through the court and let her see the ugliness between us. No matter how I feel about him I dont want her to know. I thought I was protecting her but that is either here nor there. I call her a few nights a week (when I can find her cause she is always with someone new I have to call 6 different people) I also set up a local number for her to reach me as well.

    As for my husband, that is a whole other legal matter that is even more difficult than this one. My husband was thrown out of the US at 18 and now getting him back in 14 years later is a hard slow process

  6. #6
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    Apr 2009
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    OP, I just can't see you having success here if Dad wants to fight you on it, even though you're technically the only legal custodian. I recommend you try to find a way to hire an attorney Stateside because without that I can't see a judge allowing you to relocate kiddo out of the country and even then to be perfectly honest I can't see it happening WITH an attorney unless you can show that Dad is unfit, neglectful or there's another serious change in your daughter's circumstances. Dad working and having his mother and sister take care of her isn't going to wash - now if he was letting them take care of her without having work as an excuse it would perhaps be different.

    But if it's because of work - a judge isn't going to hold that against him.
    An intelligent hell would be better than a stupid paradise - Victor Hugo

    Do not microwave grapes

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Feb 2007
    Posts
    2,032

    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Quote Quoting Miwers
    View Post
    No I didnt just choose to leave her here. I wanted to take her with me but didnt want to put my five year old through the court and let her see the ugliness between us. No matter how I feel about him I dont want her to know. I thought I was protecting her but that is either here nor there. I call her a few nights a week (when I can find her cause she is always with someone new I have to call 6 different people) I also set up a local number for her to reach me as well.

    As for my husband, that is a whole other legal matter that is even more difficult than this one. My husband was thrown out of the US at 18 and now getting him back in 14 years later is a hard slow process
    The bottom line is you CHOSE to move with your hubby and leave your child behind. You didn't have to do that. You could have CHOSE to stay in the States with your child.

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
    Location
    Florida
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    2,772

    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Quote Quoting Miwers
    View Post
    Yes I definately have proof. The court can alo ask her even though she is 6 and she can tell them sometimes she lives at grandmas and sometimes she lives at aunties. She tells me she doesnt have a room and she wants to go "home". He is also a single full time firefighter which means 3 to 4 days a week he has a 24 hour shift. I know this is gonna be a battle but why do I have to suffer and he does not. If i could bring my husband home I would in a heartbeat and save all this aggravation I just dont know what to do or where to start

    NO- "the court" cannot and will not ask a 6 year old to testify.

    However, you can request that the court appoint a GAL (guardian ad litem) to your case. The GAL's job is to speak for your child in court.

    I agree with everyone else, you have a hard fight ahead of you to get a Judge to allow you to move your child away from her father who is in her life.

    Before you do anything, you really need to get a consult with a Florida attorney. Some will do phone consults for general questions. Call the Florida Bar Lawyer Referral Service at 1-800-342-8011 to get a consult.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    6,560

    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Again, an issue is...

    You have a child with a person in the United States.

    You went to Germany to be with hubby. Leaving your child behind. You basically made a decision as to whom was more important.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Jul 2006
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    Florida
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    Default Re: Moving With My Child to Another Country

    Quote Quoting PandorasBox
    View Post
    Again, an issue is...

    You have a child with a person in the United States.

    You went to Germany to be with hubby. Leaving your child behind. You basically made a decision as to whom was more important.

    That's correct. However, the OP seems to not want to listen, so she should get the consult I advised her to do, maybe she will listen better if a Florida attorney tells her the same thing we are telling her.

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