Parenting Plan Still Possible with Adoption

**shanker** · 04-08-2010, 09:09 AM

My question involves adoption law for the State of: OREGON

my x wife wants me to let her current husband adopt my kids, they are between the ages of 10 and 14. My son and daughter. i told her that i would consider it if it were possible to still have a parenting plan/schedule agreed upon where I could still see them basically the same as I do now.

does anyone know if this is possible?

she tells me that visitation will be EASIER with no parenting plan...?! But even with our current parenting plan she still puts up interference, so at this point I'm not trusting her at all. She says it will just be between the kids and I if and when they want to come over, but I do not have an amicable relationship with my x, nor her husband. he has cursed at me in front of my kids before. So basically there is no way I would agree to an adoption if I cannot get a black and white parenting time agreement.

Any thoughts, suggestions, and direct answers are very appreciated. Thanks!

**mamabear2102003** · 04-08-2010, 09:17 AM

Unless things have changed drastically in the past few years, once an adoption takes place, the parents of the children decide who what where when and why with the kids. Since you would no longer be a parent (legally) you would have no legal standing to continue to see the children if your x and her husband choose not to allow it.

I gave up my two of my children to a step parent adoption in MI many years ago, at the ages of 8 and 10, with the agreement that it would be in legal terms only, and that I would continue to have contact based on the ages of the children. After the adoption was finalized, I found out that I had no legal standing to see or even talk to my children, since I was no longer their parent. I reconnected with my children once they turned 18, and one of the adoptions was rescinded, but it never made up for all the time that I missed with my kids. If you are really considering this option, PLEASE consult an attorney to find out your rights post adoption.

**aardvarc** · 04-08-2010, 11:09 AM

I agree. Once you allow adoption, you are legally out of the picture. If the new parent-couple is willing to allow you to continue to see the children, fine. If they are in a bad mood or it's a month with an "R" in it and they decide for no good reason that you're out of the picture, then you're out, with no legal recourse back IN, because you'd be a legal stranger - no legal parenting plan, because you'd no longer BE a parent (might as well be the mailman).

**shanker** · 04-11-2010, 10:41 PM

Quoting aardvarc

I agree. Once you allow adoption, you are legally out of the picture. If the new parent-couple is willing to allow you to continue to see the children, fine. If they are in a bad mood or it's a month with an "R" in it and they decide for no good reason that you're out of the picture, then you're out, with no legal recourse back IN, because you'd be a legal stranger - no legal parenting plan, because you'd no longer BE a parent (might as well be the mailman).

Is this true even in the cases of "open adoptions"?

**LawResearcherMissy** · 04-12-2010, 03:24 AM

Yes.

"Open adoptions" are a matter of courtesy between the parties, the term really has no legal meaning and gives the non-parent no legal rights.

My niece was adopted "openly". My sister allows the bio-mom to come visit once a month, but if she decides tomorrow that the visits are too disruptive, she can call them off and bio-mom can't do diddly-boo.