Paternity of Donor-Conceived Child

[kailooa]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: California.

I'm currently married, in the process of getting separated. I do have an attorney but I am in a complex situation and am interested in your opinions and experiences.

After my ex filed for separation, he agreed that he would sign a contract disavowing paternity of my future children. I got pregnant by insemination with donor sperm through a fertility clinic without my ex's knowledge. He never signed the non-paternity agreement and now that he knows I am pregnant he wants to be the father.

This child has nothing to gain my being my ex's legal child. My ex has major mental health issues and is unable to support himself. He does nothing but file request after request in court, all of which have been denied because they were improperly filed, but costing me lots of money to draft responses and show up in court with my attorney. My kids will never get child support from this man, and all the new baby will get out of having him as a father is lots of legal costs to protect the baby from him. The family court judge is very familiar with my ex's issues, and consequently I was awarded full custody of our 5-year-old child and my ex has limited, supervised visitation. This is a temporary order while we await final judgment in our separation, but my ex has not yet been able to file a request to have custody reconsidered and has not improved his living situation nor his mental health.

I have several questions regarding my unborn baby.

1. Can I keep my ex out of the delivery room, or does he have a legal right to be present for the birth?

2. I would like to put "withheld" under Father on the birth certificate. Can my ex override me on that? I know he will be the presumed father if he goes to establish that in court after the baby is born, but does he have the right to put his name on the birth certificate if the baby is not biologically his?

3. Does my ex have any right to influence the baby's name on the birth certificate?

4. Is there anything I can to do have my ex declared NOT the father, under California law? Would my ex have to establish paternal rights first, or not, since he is the presumed father under California law?

5. In your opinion, should I make the first move in court to try to limit his visitation and custody as much as possible, if I can't have him declared not the father right away? Or should I wait for my ex to file something first?

Thank you for your thoughts.

[Mr. Knowitall]

I think you should try to get the divorce resolved, with a finding of non-paternity in relation to the child, before the child is born. If your husband contends that he may be the father, the judge may want to withhold final judgment until paternity testing can be performed; if not, the judge may want to do so anyway but may be willing to allow things to proceed.

[kailooa]

Thank you for your thoughts! I don't think there will be time to finalize before the birth, unfortunately, but maybe I should bring the issue up in the proceedings proactively. I appreciate your perspective.