Taking Custody of My Sister

[fr49200]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: NYC

Hello everyone here is my problem. last year when i was 20, my mother passed away & im left to take care of my sister with help from my grandmother. I just recently turned 21 & the apartment we were all living in is now mine. I believe my father wants to take custody of me & my 11 year old sister. However, my sister & I do not want to live with him because he was abusive to both my mother & I. My mother moved out of his home before my sister was born so that she wouldn't have to be abused by him. I know he can't touch me because I'm already an adult, but I think he has the right to take my sister because shes only 11 (she turns 12 this month). I want to take custody of my sister before he can. From what I understand I will need to go to court & plead my case that I would be a better guardian.

Here are my pro's:

1) I have been raising her along with my mother since she was born.
2) I have my own apartment.
3) I recieve food stamps, TANF, & her survivors benifets, which is enough to pay the bills & keep her happy
4) she wants to live with me, not her father.
5) our father is 75 years old. way too old.
6) our father is disabled.
7) He hasn't raised children in 10 years.
8) Her grades & previously abismall attendance have shot up since she has been living with me (she's on the honor roll )
9) He lives more than 2 miles away from her school, on the other side of town, whereas with me she lives only a few blocks away.
10) My apartment has been her home her entire life.

& the things he has going for him:
1) I'm not employed, however I am involved in a goverment sponsored job search program & that is how I'm receiving the TANF.
2) I just recently turned 21
3) through disability & workers compensation, he makes more money than me.

So my main question is, do I have a snowballs chane in hell of winning custody of my sister? From what i understand, since I don't have a job yet, best case scenario is that I can win custody of her, but only temporary to see If I am responsonsible to take care of her.
Note: I would also like to point out that in this case I do not want us to live with my grandmother either. It would be just me & her, which is how she & I want it.

[Dogmatique]

You NEED an attorney - this is NOT something you want to undertake yourself, because Dad's rights far supersede yours.

Many of the things on your list are really non-issues.

Please, speak with an attorney.

[fr49200]

I am actually trying to get an attourney, but right now Im also trying to get a social worker that has worked with my family before. She's going to help with the Family Court related business. Does my father being old & disabled really not matter? I heard that in cases like this they would give her to me because I'm younger, healthier & I've lived with her way longer than he has. He's never lived with her at all. Plus, won't it give me an edge that he has abused me before?

[Dogmatique]

I am actually trying to get an attourney, but right now Im also trying to get a social worker that has worked with my family before. She's going to help with the Family Court related business. Does my father being old & disabled really not matter? I heard that in cases like this they would give her to me because I'm younger, healthier & I've lived with her way longer than he has. He's never lived with her at all. Plus, won't it give me an edge that he has abused me before?

Is the abuse proven?

this may matter, yes.

Remember Michael Jackson's kids? They went to live with his (older than your father, and she's also disabled) mother...

...honestly, being disabled does not necessarily mean you're unfit to be a parent. Keep talking to the social worker too - that may be a very big plus for your case.

Remember, Dad has constitutionally protected rights to be a Dad - you have no such inherent rights, and it may be an uphill battle.

[fr49200]

I don't know if my mom reported the abuse or not, but to tell you the truth she & I were the only witnesses, & she's dead, so it's basically my word versus his. I would like to point out that he while he does want us to live with him, he did at first ask, "Do you want to live with me?" & we told him no, & he hasn't said he's going to try to take custody for her. I just don't trust him at all. But I'm worried that when I tell him about our apartment (he never knew we were living there) or that I'm taking care of my sister, not my grandmother like he thinks, he might try to take her away.

[fr49200]

I asked around about my situation & am still trying to get a attourney. However, I realised something. If my mother died, & my dad is listed as the father on the birth certificate, then that means he technically has custody of her already. If he wanted to, he could've taken her away months ago, as soon as my mother died; but he hasn't. Someone told me that if that is the case, then maybe he actually wants her to stay with me, & not take her. I also remember that the week that my mom died, the day before the wake he & my older brother both came to see us. My dad then talked to my sister & I by ourselves & asked us "Do you guys want to come live with me?" & we told him "No, we want to live with our grandmother", at which point he said "That's ok with me, if you guys want to live with her that's ok". No argument, no convincing, nothing. So I'm thinking that maybe I'm overthinking the whole thing, & he might be all for me taking care of my sister. He's always going on about "Now that you're mother's dead, you & I are going to have to take care of your sister". I'm planning on telling him that's exactly what I want to do; take care of her. If he can help us out & we could settle this without a custody battle, all the more better. I've been told I have a better chance of him convincing him to give me custody rather than battling in court against him, especially if he's the father. My main worry is, what am I going to do if I can't convince him to do it? At any rate, once I go on my lunch break I'm going to try to find a attourney, so wish me luck!