Adoption, and Visitation with Biological Mother and Grandmother

[shay82]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texasl

I am in the process of adopting my 7 yr old step daughter. To sum up our situation in the shortest way possible, her bio mother left the state the last day we went to court with was in May of 2008. She didn't even call or tell us she was leaving. She first tried to contact us about 9 months later. We got our lawyer to start the adoption process because we feel that the mother is very unstable and shouldn't have just left her child for no reason at all. During all this time the child has been able to see her maternal grandmother. However, the one thing we asked was that she not take her around her mother until after we went to court. She agreed saying that her own daughter was "crazy and needed intense psychological counseling before she should see her daughter." Last Saturday night the child finally broke down and told me and her father she has been seeing her mom but that her grandmother and mother told her not to tell us. When the grandmother was confronted she called my stepdaughter a liar to her face. My stepdaughter is very upset by this and no longer wants to be around "those liars" anymore. We are about to go to court I hope in February. Is it possible to terminate both the mother's and grandmother's rights, and should we? We have been trying to teach her that lying is not good and families don't keep secrets, but for months her mother and grandmother have been teaching her the complete oposite. She has finally begun to see the type of people they are. What should we do legally about this?

[Dogmatique]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Texasl

I am in the process of adopting my 7 yr old step daughter. To sum up our situation in the shortest way possible, her bio mother left the state the last day we went to court with was in May of 2008. She didn't even call or tell us she was leaving. She first tried to contact us about 9 months later. We got our lawyer to start the adoption process because we feel that the mother is very unstable and shouldn't have just left her child for no reason at all. During all this time the child has been able to see her maternal grandmother. However, the one thing we asked was that she not take her around her mother until after we went to court.

WHOA there. You do NOT get to decide that the child can't see her mother. PERIOD. If Dad wanted to restrict Mom, he should have gone to court to do so.

She agreed saying that her own daughter was "crazy and needed intense psychological counseling before she should see her daughter." Last Saturday night the child finally broke down and told me and her father she has been seeing her mom but that her grandmother and mother told her not to tell us. When the grandmother was confronted she called my stepdaughter a liar to her face. My stepdaughter is very upset by this and no longer wants to be around "those liars" anymore.

We are about to go to court I hope in February. Is it possible to terminate both the mother's and grandmother's rights, and should we? We have been trying to teach her that lying is not good and families don't keep secrets, but for months her mother and grandmother have been teaching her the complete oposite. She has finally begun to see the type of people they are. What should we do legally about this?

Two things.

First, if you are actually ADOPTING the child, then Mom will have no rights whatsoever - in fact, her rights MUST be terminated in order for the adoption to take place. Didn't your attorney explain this?

Second, grandma has no inherent rights to the child.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Texas will entertain a grandparent's petition for access under the following statute. (They don't make it easy to gain access.)

The court shall order reasonable possession of or access to a grandchild by a grandparent if:

(1) at the time the relief is requested, at least one biological or adoptive parent of the child has not had that parent's parental rights terminated;

(2) the grandparent requesting possession of or access to the child overcomes the presumption that a parent acts in the best interest of the parent's child by proving by a preponderance of the evidence that denial of possession of or access to the child would significantly impair the child's physical health or emotional well-being; and

(3) the grandparent requesting possession of or access to the child is a parent of a parent of the child and that parent of the child:

(A) has been incarcerated in jail or prison during the three-month period preceding the filing of the petition;

(B) has been found by a court to be incompetent;

(C) is dead; or

(D) does not have actual or court-ordered possession of or access to the child.

Of less relevance under the facts you have provided, but perhaps of benefit to others reading this thread,

A biological or adoptive grandparent may not request possession of or access to a grandchild if:

(1) each of the biological parents of the grandchild has:

(A) died;

(B) had the person's parental rights terminated; or

(C) executed an affidavit of waiver of interest in child or an affidavit of relinquishment of parental rights under Chapter 161 and the affidavit designates an authorized agency, licensed child-placing agency, or person other than the child's stepparent as the managing conservator of the child; and

(2) the grandchild has been adopted, or is the subject of a pending suit for adoption, by a person other than the child's stepparent.