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  1. #1
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default Changing child's name when deadbeat dad objects

    I badly need advice on how to win a name change case in MN for my 7 year old son. The father, who has been absent for over 5 years, is objecting simply out of spite for me and because he has the power to do so. To make matters worse, the manipulator now claims that he wishes to reunite with my son, which conveniently began when he decided to object to the name change. He and his family claim that I would not allow them to see him, but they have never even tried. However, they are not above lying in court. He lives across the country and would not be able to afford regular visitation, no matter how much he claims to want it. If by some miracle he was able to travel for regular visitation, I would welcome it, but still insist on this name change because he will never be a father in the psychological sense of the word. I realize my chances are very slim so I do not need reminding of that. Any advice would be much appreciated!

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,656

    Default

    If the matter is before a court, and your ex- has objected, you will have to convince the court that the name change is in the best interest of the child.

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default

    Yes, I understand that. What I'd like to know is how. I know that it is in the best interest of the child, but I'm not exactly unbiased so I don't know how to convince the judge that it's not just my emotions talking. Here are my reasons:

    - The father is a deadbeat in every sense of the word. He can't keep a job, is behind in court-mandated child support payments, is unkept, has a history of impregnating women just so he can be a daddy, and is nobody who my son would want to share a name with. I'm convinced that if my son cannot change his name now he will when he is an adult, just like every other guy I know who grew up in a similar situation.

    - The father is objecting out of selfish reasons, because he is a selfish person. If he cared about this child he would have made some effort in the last 5 years to see him. He has not once tried to contact us in the entire time that he's been gone.

    - The fact that he now wishes to reintroduce himself into the child's life was clearly initiated by this name change issue. It looks very good to his case that he wants to re-establish ties with the child, and looks as if I simply would not allow him to be part of his life. I do not have confidence in his intention or financial ability to maintain a consistent relationship with this child. He lives across the country from us, and if his child support payments are an accurate representation of his income he makes $15,000 a year.

    - He has another child, and I do not know the status of that relationship. I know that the father lived in Wisconsin when the child was born, and he now lives back in Florida. (I am in Minnesota.) I do not know if the child is with him, or if this is a similar situation to mine. I can find out from the child support agency whether he is paying child support for this other child, but that's all I can do.

    Those are the reasons that I have. In your unbiased opionion, do you think this is enough? Have I convinced You? If there are any improvements I can make to what I've written, or if there's anything else that could help that I may be missing, I would love to know. If any of the above points are more persuasive, I can focus more on them. Thanks for your help.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12

    Default You do have a chance

    We just went to court on this, and it is now in the judges hands, although she did want to speak to the girls ages 8 & 10 and they both told her they wanted my last name. Anyways, if the father has been out of the picuture for 2 or more years and hasn't supported the child the court will more than likely rule in your favor. Do you have an attorney? If you do they should know these things I just stated to you, as for your wanting my advice, Yes this would be extreme situation because the father has wanted nothing to do with the child for 5 years and hasn't suppported him neither, so yes in this case I would say yes I do agree with you. Because in my case I have been there always for my girls and now have joint phsical and joint legal custody of them and I have them 1/2 of the year, they are with me every other week. And it's funny the 8 year old has now even in school started using my last name on her papers. Hope this helps you out.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Apr 2006
    Posts
    7

    Default

    Yes, I do have an attorney. She has actually discouraged me from going through with this because my chances are so slim. It just doesn't seem right that in this particular situation, he should have the ability to stop this from happening. And I don't want to teach my son to back down simply because things get rough. He will be outside of the courtroom for the majority of the hearing, however; except when the judge is speaking to him directly.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    May 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    12

    Default I think you have a chance

    I think you have a chance, although I'm not a lawyer, I just got the papers today and I lost my case, you see when my girls went to see the judge it was on their mother's week and so she told them to tell the judge that they didn't want their names changed she told them she would be mad at them and spank them so they did what their mother told them and I was denied. So good lcuk to you but seeing's how your the mom the court will rule for you as they always do, sorry but I'm kinda upset right now over the whole thing, that the courts rule with the mother and not me their father, so now my kids have to continue to carry some other mans's last name because of their stupod mother says so. And my girls told me what their mom had made them do, so I sat them down and had a long talk with them and they said they would be telling their mom how wrong she was and how when they turn 14 they will go back to court to tell the judge the truth about their mother. Good luck

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