School Gave Son's Name to County Attorney Due to Tardies

[kansasdad]

My question involves child abuse or neglect in the State of: Kansas

I hope this is posted in the right place, I was a little unsure...

Quick background.

In October we received a letter from our son's school. He is 7 and in 2nd grade, the letter was concerning sevaral tardys. Please understand that I know this was my fault, I never really kept a tally of days where he was late but nonetheless we changed a few things in our morning routine to get him there earlier. Just this Friday 01/22/10 we got another letter from the school which informed us that to date he had accumulated 21 tardys and 2 absent days this school year. It also went on to mention that should the conditions continue that his name and situation would be given to a caseworker the Kansas Children Service League. Then after a home visit, if things still don't change the school must submit his name to the SRS and th Dickinson County Attorney's Office. The last sentence of the letter states " A copy of this letter and attendance sheet was sent to the County Attorney."

I immediatley called the principal and we spoke. I told him about us changing our routine to get him there earlier and that up until this point I had no ideal that it was at this point. I told him that I can't believe he has been this late so many times and only on rare occasions is he more then 1-2 minutes late. He told me school starts at 8:10am, if he walks in at 8:10 and 5seconds, he is late.

I just said, "really?". We spoke a little more at which time I apologized for the circumstances. I ensured him we would do whatever it takes to correct the problem. He said Thank you, and the conversation was over.


01/23/10, the next day. There is a knock on the door,,,county sheriff delivered court papers over our sons unexcused tardys. In the court papers it states:

Statutory Basis
*is without adequate parntal care, control or subsistence and it is not due solely to the lack of financial means of the child"s parents or other custodian.
*is without the care or control necessary for the childs physical, mental or emotional health.
*is not attending school as required.
We have a court date set for early next month.

I have to be honest, I was ready to park my truck in the principal's living room. I was really irritated to say the least, and to make matters worse my wife is a Court Services Officer and the attorney appointed on my son's behalf is someone she works with. I feel horrible as this is really not her fault, as she leaves before we do. It's my responsibility to get both the boys up and on school on time which I thought we were doing okay.

We have another son and he is 5, prior to all of this he was being dropped off first as we live closer to his school. After the first letter I began dropping the the 7yr old off first to get him there earlier, so obviously if the older one is late they younger one is late even more. However we have never received a letter from his school.

I think on Monday I will be calling around for an attorney. We are both good people and great parents so Im really not expecting anything more then the court checking in on us/kids to make sure things are better. I don't think we have anything to fight as there is nothing to hide the kids were simply late a few minutes a few too many times.

Still very irritating though, I could think of better things to do with the time and money spent on this crap. I think an attorney would be a good investment, maybe it would show that we are taking this serious. It may also keep me from speaking my mind, which I don't think would benefit us.

Any thoughts??

[jk]

this really is your fault, not the school admin. They have rules and laws to follow and do you really think anything happened with the principal and the attorney's office between the time you spoke to him and the very next morning?

that action of the 23'rd was already in play before you talked to the principal. Remember this part:

The last sentence of the letter states " A copy of this letter and attendance sheet was sent to the County Attorney

.

Yes, if i things are as you state, nothing will come of this and based on your tenor here, maybe an attorney to prevent this:

It may also keep me from speaking my mind

which, based on what you have stated within the post, this statement:

I don't think would benefit us.

is most likely a correct assumption.

I do find your surprise at this statement a bit unsettling though:

. He told me school starts at 8:10am, if he walks in at 8:10 and 5seconds, he is late.

late is late so unless you can turn back the clock, yes, the instant after 8:10 strikes, your son is late. 10 seconds, 10 minutes, they are both late. There are no various levels of late. late is late.



,

[cyjeff]

I would also resist the ever popular "there must be better things for the police to do" defense.

[aardvarc]

Realistically? For a child of 7, the LIKLIHOOD is that you'll get a finger pointed at you, and a rolled up newspaper smack to the nose with a loud "no, don't do it anymore". However, once you've gotten that official smack on the nose, the NEXT step isn't a rolled up newspaper - it's the possibility of 3 hots and a cot for a few days in the county jail and the promise of fines and court costs.

In the bigger picture, the issue here is truancy. JK is correct; late is late - 10 seconds or 10 minutes. If every child was 1 minute late, and the teacher had to document 30 students, at 30 seconds each to write down their name and time of arrival, that's 15 mins a day, times 5 days a week....you do the math. Tax dollars a-wasting.

As the child gets older, it'll become MORE of an issue - and if your actions, beliefs, habits, attitudes, etc. impart to the child that timliness at getting to school isn't a big deal, you'll be doing not only a great disservice to the child, but ultimately, you could be facing actual incarceration for contempt of court (if things get that far and the behavior continues), or investigation by child protective services - note the reference in the letter to these:


*is without adequate parntal care, control or subsistence and it is not due solely to the lack of financial means of the child"s parents or other custodian.

*is without the care or control necessary for the childs physical, mental or emotional health.

The first line means you have the ABILITY to correct the issue, yet the issue is continuing - and its accusatory tone is there on purpose. It implies you are CHOOSING to be in violation. In the second line, you should highlight the word NECESSARY, then back up to the word WITHOUT - those two words in a courtroom in reference to a child are serious business. These are some of the exact phrases used when petitioning a court to order the taking away of custody from a parent - so unless you want to be seeing this phrase again later, it's time to buck up and take the matter of getting the child to school on time as seriously as you'd take a court's order for you to sit behind bars for a couple of days, or for a court to remove the child from the home. No one is saying or implying that it's at that point - but if you think "just" not getting your child to school on time can't end you up there, or your child without someone who WILL get them to school on time, you'd be very mistaken.

You're at fault. It sucks that they are riding you on it and making it more of an issue than you feel it is, but they are right, and they have the resources and tools to get, or have someone ELSE get, the child to school - so swallow some crow, deal with your anger over being called out over this in a healthy way that won't make matters worse, and turn over a new leaf. And make sure that new leaf includes letting your child know how important being ON TIME is (for school now, for bosses later, etc.) You are setting the example for him - set a good one, because if the situation escalates you won't be able to UN-set a bad example.

[cyjeff]

Given the fact that there are 180 school days and we are half way through (approx.), that means that the kids were late 21/90 days.

Basically, this translates to at least one and sometimes two times a week.

This is a frequency that schools will not tolerate.