Mediators Recommend Change from Sole to Joint Custody

[mrshiggins]

Okay husband went to court this Monday and was blown away by the mediators requests. Husband went from sole custody in March to joint custody today, with a woman who hasn't been consistent and hasn't followed the court order.
Husband decided to tactfully tell the truth and his annoyances with mother. Mediator seemed to understand, and he felt like it went well. When he got the mediator report on Monday, the mediator had totally twisted his words and had forgave mother for her not following the court order.
Husband asked for a new mediator but the judge wouldn't do it for him. He feels like the judge and mediator are biased against him (and fathers in general: we sat in court for 6 hours and saw many fathers who we feel like wasnt' treated equally).
What can he do about this? Mother has gotten both major holidays, I don't know why Xmas was changed from father to mother this year, but when he asked the judge if he could have Xmas because mom had Thanksgiving, the judge asked father who had the child last year... he did, because he had custody and mother was no where to be found... doesn't this sound biased and somewhat sexist?
Can he ask for a new judge?
What papers?
I am so upset because it just seems like mother doesn't have to follow the court order and it's fine but if husband even attempted that, he'd loose everything.
Thanks- California (Fresno County)

[Mr. Knowitall]

Does he have a lawyer? The best way to screw up a custody case is to try to handle it on your own.

[mrshiggins]

He had a lawyer the first time this year in March. She was 5K retainer plus extra for filing fees (which he qualified for a waiver, but for some reason she didn't do it that way) so it all added up to about $5800.
We are currently struggling with bills and have been thinking about bankruptcy. We have talked to some friends and they knew of a good lawyer that they used for about $2500 retainer. We found this out on Saturday, so we are willing to do whatever we need to to get this fixed.
Also, mediator was very prejudiced of him working and going to school 3 nights a week. The mediator said to husband, couldn't this time at work and school be best spent with child? It's like what are you talking about? Who is going to pay the bills? And we don't qualify for welfare... I just don't understand.
As for screwing up the custody case: We got help from the free legal help at the facilitators office, along with much reading and educating ourselves on it. But I guess that wasn't good enough.
Also two days before mediation, child had gotten into trouble at school, and husband took away his TV and Xbox for a week. Child was upset about this and told the mediator that he felt like the punishment didn't fit the crime, so now husband has to go to counseling and talk to the counselor about age appropriate punishments. This child is 9 years old... what other punishments are okay for this age? You can't spank, you can't beat them... is grounding a child too much these days? The mediator didn't even ask what the crime was or what the punishment was... just went by the childs dislike of it all; she didn't even ask parents what happened, just went with a 9 year olds story....
Thanks

[wouldn't you like to know]

Hi Mrs. Higgins! Apparently, in certain counties the mediator can make a recommendation only when the parties cannot come to an agreement. I would look into the local court rules and see if there is any loop hole there. Then you have 10 days from the date order was filed to file a "motion for reconsideration". This is done on pleading paper and there is no "form." A hearing is scheduled, but you cannot get a hearing sooner than the standard which will not be in time for the holidays. You can't file an ex parte based on holiday visitation. Your best luck is to attack the joint legal as a reason. This would be your only option, but unfortunately if you come without something very convincing and without a good reason you will tick off the judge. Good luck!