Parental Consent for a 16 Year Old to Date a 20 Year Old

[Rms1993]

I am in New York; the age of consent is 17, but I am in love with a 20 year old. Her probation officers have forbiden us to contact each other because I am not the age of consent yet and she is over 18. Is there any way my parents or one of parents can give consent for the relationship to continue or at least to give us the right to contact each other?

[cdwjava]

She has to follow the rules of her probation. Legally, if the relationship is not sexual in any way, you can "see" each other. But, if her P.O. says it ain't allowed, then it ain't allowed.

[Rms1993]

What if my parents asked her probation officer to give her permission to contact me and/or visit me?

[cdwjava]

They can ASK anything.

The probation officer does no have to allow it. And it still will not allow for unlawful sexual conduct.

[Rms1993]

We don't want to be allowed to have sex. We just want to be allowed to contact each other. Even if we can't see each other, contacting each other is better than nothing. I don't know about her, but if need be...I would be perfectly willing to have conversations monitored or visits monitored.

[LawResearcherMissy]

It doesn't matter what you want.

Her probation officer said NO.

If you really and truly do care about her, you won't try to sneak around it, because if she violates probation, she can go to JAIL.

[cdwjava]

Remember, probation is granted with conditions in lieu of being in jail. If she were NOT on probation, then she would NOT be able to contact you either as she would be custody.

Unless her probation officer decides that this relationship is a good idea for his or her charge (your adult friend), then the P.O. can say no and you will be "jail bait."

[Rms1993]

She never even did anything wrong to me. All we ever did was love each other.

Age of consent doesn't have anything to do with dating or contact.

It doesn't say a 16 year old can't date a 20 year old and it doesn't say a 16 year old can't talk to a 20 year old...it just says they can't have sexual contact.

I don't understand why the probation officer decided to seperate the two of us, because she never did anything wrong. Neither of us were in danger just by talking and dating each other.

[LawResearcherMissy]

It. Doesn't. Matter.

Until she is off probation, her probation officer is GOD. If her probation officer wants her to sit on her hands and bawk like a chicken every time they meet, she'd better do it.

I get that you're a teenager and you want what you want, when you want it. Her PO doesn't care what you want. And right now, you shouldn't care what you want either.

When it comes to your friend's probation, what you think and feel and want is completely irrelevant.

[525601minutes]

I don't understand why the probation officer decided to seperate the two of us, because she never did anything wrong.

She did do something wrong. If she didn't then she would not even HAVE a probation officer. She is being punished. Part of that punishment includes not dating you.