Possibility of Termination of Rights and Step-Parent Adoption

[FleetwoodMac]

I was never married to my child's father.

My child is 11 1/2 years old and has had no contact with the father in 9 years. There was contact the first 2 1/2 years. This contact was minimal and only happened when I actively tracked down my ex and tried to convince him to connect with the child. As my child's vocabulary improved, my child started making comments to me that lead me to believe that my continual attempts to insert the child into my ex's life and his subsequent rejections were only doing damage. I ceased attempting to contact my ex.

I have not left the area and my ex has always known how to get in contact with me. This has never been attempted.

Within the last year I contacted my ex through the internet requesting his address for a step-parent adoption. (I had been advised that if I could find him, I needed to as a legal notice publishing would look shady if he was easy to find) He ignored my first 4 or so messages but finally responded when I sent a message stating I was over the past and just seeking to make sure our child was taken care of.

At first the interaction was positive. We chatted a bit and I updated him on the child. After a bit of contact, his tone turned negative and he started stating he would not allow this to happen. I dropped the issue, no longer messaged him and figured we'd try for this at a later date when the child is older.

I was served this week with a verified petition for paternity. What chance do I have of responding with termination? I believe if I had not tracked him down myself for the adoption, this never would have happened and we never would have heard from him.

I don't think it matters, but in case it does, I have been married for 6 years.

[cyjeff]

This is not a DIY project.

Has there been CS? Has the father ever been established as the father in a court of law? Has there ever been a visitation order?

[FleetwoodMac]

I'm sorry - I should have been more clear. I do understand I need legal representation. I am speaking with attorneys this week, I was just hoping to get some feedback over the weekend so I can assess what direction to take and know what to ask the attorneys.

There has never been a visitation order. I briefly opened a child support case with the state. I believe it was opened for 1-2 years and it just accrued back child support. I believe I got money about 3 times due to tax refund interception and brief employment. It was never a large amount. I closed the case with an existing arrears balance. I know now this was a horrible mistake but my thought at the time was that it was wasting the time and money of the state to try to track him and it was hypocritical of me to take his money when he wasn't around at all.

We were together at the time of birth and he stuck around for about 6 months after. There was a voluntary declaration of paternity signed at birth and he is on the certificate but that is the only legal action that we ever took.

He did sign documents consenting to a last name change from his to my maiden name when the child was about 3. He would have signed over his rights then but I was not married and had no one who could take over his rights and so my counsel advised me it couldn't be done.

[cyjeff]

I'm sorry - I should have been more clear. I do understand I need legal representation. I am speaking with attorneys this week, I was just hoping to get some feedback over the weekend so I can assess what direction to take and know what to ask the attorneys.

There has never been a visitation order. I briefly opened a child support case with the state. I believe it was opened for 1-2 years and it just accrued back child support. I believe I got money about 3 times due to tax refund interception and brief employment. It was never a large amount. I closed the case with an existing arrears balance. I know now this was a horrible mistake but my thought at the time was that it was wasting the time and money of the state to try to track him and it was hypocritical of me to take his money when he wasn't around at all.

Okay, then paternity has been established.... or CS wouldn't have been ordered.

If he is still being billed for support, it can be considered contact. When was the last time you received funds?

[FleetwoodMac]

Last payment: I would say 2002 or 2003. The support isn't accruing any longer though because I didn't have the state keep billing him. I suppose that still left an order in effect though because one was established, it just wasn't being enforced by the state any longer.