[Haeker]

Alright, here is my situation: I have been married to a woman for coming up on three years. We have a 19-month son. I have retained the residence I am currently living in since April of this year. She left in May, wishing no longer to be married. I have pursued the her and the marriage until recently, and have come up against hostile rejection.

I have decided to give her the divorce because A) there is no hope of restoring the marriage and B) I have discovered someone who is far more worth my time and am interested in starting a real relationship with. I don't believe I'll be able to get my son at this point, nor do I believe that I could honestly give him everything he needs (and she seems to be fighting tooth-and-nail to do so), so I'm willing to give her full custody until I'm fully on my feet (I left the military in March) at which point I may sue for full custody (unsure). Finances for both of us are incredibly strained.


My questions are these:

•I have no idea where to start. What do I do to start this whole process? What do I need to get started?

•I've considered either doing it without lawyers or by getting legal insurance (pre-paid legal). Thoughts? Comments? What's the better choice?

•I would like to get a bifurcation, although I know Michigan has some sort of restriction on that. What kind of advice can I get on this? Could I legally file for divorce in Ohio (where she lives right now) instead if it would be impossible?

•Do I have to stay in-state after filing? I'm looking into moving to North Carolina at the moment.

•Currently we are saving money to finish paying our retained lawyer for the purpose of filing joint bankruptcy (chapter 7). Does anyone forsee complications?

Also, I am concerned that if I give my wife full custody for the time being, I will be unable to fight for full custody in the future...

An alternate idea would be to simply finish filing bankruptcy up here (residency restrictions and all) and then move straight to North Carolina. The only problem is I'm ASSUMING you need to have some sort of residency in a state before you can file for divorce. I'm very interested in dating the other woman I've been seeing (I've been honorable, not that it matters to all of you), so I'm very interested in bifurcation and just becoming single again. I know it's going to take time to work out issues with my son.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If you are contemplating filing Chapter 7 bankruptcy, but are separated, planning to divorce, and one of you has permanently changed her domicile to another state, you need to be talking to your bankruptcy lawyer about those changes.

If you want to file in Ohio, you can file in Ohio once your wife has been domiciled there for six months. After six months of the child's domicile in that state, that will be the most appropriate state in which to litigate custody issues, and for a divorce filed more than six months after the move your wife can force those issues to be litigated in that state. It appears that, after filing, Michigan will impose a 180 day waiting period (potentially shortened to 60 days) for cases involving children, and it appears that Ohio will impose a de facto 30 day waiting period.

If you're interested in trying to litigate a divorce case yourself, you should be able to find guides (with forms) through major bookstores, online or in your neighborhood.

[cbmichigan]

Hello! I am new in this forum, but thought I may share some experience I have had in my divorce (or soon to be) in michigan. Please, I'm in medicine, not law, so this is just my opinion, not anything legal! (Just want to make sure I don't step on any toes)

1. We baught a book (like the previous post suggests) and it had all the forms, rules, laws....It cost us about $180 to file ane they were really easy forms to figure out.

2. You will be required to go to a meeting (the both of you, no lawyers) with the Friend of the Court. This will take place about a month after you file.
This is where the ex-parte custody/support/parenting time order will be filed and come into play.

3. There are two types of custody, phyisical and legal. Physical is who the child lives with the most. It can be joint which means 50-50. This is calculated by "overnights", meaning even if your child is with you all day every day and sleeps at mom's, it will count twords mom's day. Legal is major decisions like moving the child out of state and some other things. You CAN get joint legal and she can have physical (meaning the kid lives with her yet you still have say in major life events)

4. Friend of the court will give you an order after you meet. It helps if you and your will-be ex come to an agreement before you go in. We did and it was painless. We personally do 50-50 all across the board with no support.

5. Divorce is one thing, your childs wellbeing is another. Yes, the both go together, but don't just give up your child because it will make your life easier with your ex. My ex did it and it he regrets every step of it.

I have to go for now, hope that helps, I will stop by later and add somemore! Take care!

[Haeker]

Encouraging, cb. Appreciate that! I'm probably going to go for something similar.

If you get any additional info, please add and I will review it.