Step Parent Adoption and Termination of Other Parents Rights

[lcous23]

My question involves adoption law for the State of: Pennsylvania

Here is my situation: I had a child when I was very young her father is on the birth certificate and signed the acknowledgement of paternity. Since the time she was born he was not able to keep a job (never bought anything for her ,food, toys, diapers, clothes). We lived together for about 6 months durring which time the majority of the rent and other expenses was paid with my college savings. He never spent anytime with her other than a few minutes of googoogaagaa, never fed her put her to bed changed her and so on, you know the stuff daddys are supposed to do. Shortly before she turned a year old he beat me up and tried to rape me (I never filled charges) so I threw him out. Durring the next year he saw her approx. 3 times even tho I told him he could still see her when he wanted as long as he called first and didnt just show up. The last time he saw her was when she turned 2 (no birthday present and only stayed for about an hour) about a year later he contacted me with a list of excuses for where he has been and wanted to see her. I told him to go to h*ll. He hasnt contacted me since and has never paid a dime of child support (he actualy stole her birthday money one year) anyways...After he left I met a wonderful man who has always been "daddy" to her. she is now 4 and my fiance and I plan to marry. He wants to adopt her. Is there a way for this to happen? I know her father wont sign over his rights, I think he just likes the "idea" of being a father. Help!!

[cyjeff]

What do the custody order and the child support order say?

If you don't have these, then no one has done anything wrong... you don't have to let him see her and he doesn't have to pay a dime.

To remove the father's rights, you would have to have him declared unfit. However, your daughter calling a legal stranger "dad" is not going to work in your favor.

[lcous23]

what do you mean legal stranger? she has known him for 3 years now and we are getting married next summer.??? the funny part about her calling him dad is that she started that all on her own back when we were just friends and he would babysit her.

there is no custody order or child support order.... but here is another question for you, if something, God forbid, were to happen to me would she automatically be sent to live with her dad? or would it be possible for her to stay with her stepdad? someone once said that I could have a living will made to state my wishes but would that really matter much?

[Mr. Knowitall]

It's a confusing way of trying to explain that a spouse gains no parental rights simply by virtue of being a stepparent. A stepparent has only those rights delegated by the parent. Some people here get really uptight about stepparents, or the notion that a child might call somebody other than a biological parent "mom" or "dad".

Grounds for involuntary termination of a parent's rights are listed in 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 2511. That's the standard used in adoption cases.

Consent of a parent to adoption shall not be required if a decree of termination with regard to such parent has been entered. When parental rights have not previously been terminated, the court may find that consent of a parent of the adoptee is not required if, after notice and hearing as prescribed in section 2513 (relating to hearing), the court finds that grounds exist for involuntary termination under section 2511 (relating to grounds for involuntary termination).

[lcous23]

Is there a way that her soon to be step father can adopt her without her biological father having to give up his rights? If so would her step father then have the same rights as a biological parent?

one more question for you... according to 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 2511 it says that rights can be terminated if the parent "has refused or failed to perform parental duties." so since he has not paid child support (there is no court order) or seen her (again no court order) does that mean he has failed to perform parental duties? also since he did call once a year and a half ago after a year of not hearing from him and I basically told him to get lost, does that look bad for me? can he say I refused to let him see her? like I said he hasn't tried since.

[lcous23]

you husband is a legal stranger to your daughter-mean he is NOT her dad by blood or adoption, and it would be wise for you to nip this in the bud before you get stripped of custody for parental alienation( having your child call someone whos not related to her, dad- judges seriously frown on that). unless dad( not your husband) is found unfit, if something were to happen to you, he would become the custodial parent to your daughter. it would be up to dad wether or not to allow stepdad visitation.

I have never heard of that, I know tons of people who call their step fathers dad and arent legaly adopted by them... I have a hard time believing that a person could loose their custody because of something like that.

[cyjeff]

It's a confusing way of trying to explain that a spouse gains no parental rights simply by virtue of being a stepparent. A stepparent has only those rights delegated by the parent. Some people here get really uptight about stepparents, or the notion that a child might call somebody other than a biological parent "mom" or "dad".

Grounds for involuntary termination of a parent's rights are listed in 23 Pa.C.S.A. § 2511. That's the standard used in adoption cases.

Some people do get very upset when someone other than a biological parent is called dad....

Judges, for instance.

I am a stepfather and a father... the rules are very plain here.

I have never heard of that, I know tons of people who call their step fathers dad and arent legaly adopted by them... I have a hard time believing that a person could loose their custody because of something like that.

It is not a slam dunk....but think of it this way.

Your ex decides that he wants every woman he dates to be called mom. Every one... even if he changes them weekly.

how does that make you feel? Does it lessen the importance of the word mom? Does it confuse the child as to whom really has a right and a responsibility to protect and care for them?

Of course.

Your friends are playing with fire.

[Xena]

I have never heard of that, I know tons of people who call their step fathers dad and arent legaly adopted by them... I have a hard time believing that a person could loose their custody because of something like that.

The only time that calling a step parent becomes a real problem is when the other legal parent has a problem with it and takes the issue to court.

Part of the problem is that you mentioned that there isn't a court order for CS. Typically, an unmarried parent doesn't have the legal responsibilty to pay CS until it is court orderd.
No court order, no legal obligation typically means that attempting a TPR based on non support isn't going to work.

The best thing for you to do will be to get a consult with a local attorney, that way you'llknow exactly what steps you'll need to take.

[lcous23]

cyjeff - of course that would bother me and I completely unerstand your point calling a different woman mom whether every week or every month would really mess up a kid. however I think that if a child knows of one man who has been there for him/her from the begining telling them that they can't call them daddy could also mess with their head especially when all the other children have daddy's

Xena- thank you, I think that is the first advice I have gotten so far concerning the reason I came here