What Will Bio Dad Have to Prove in Order to Contest Step Parent Adoption

[mommabear21]

My question involves adoption law for the State of: CALIFORNIA

My husband has petitioned to adopt my 2 year old son under the abandonment law. The biological father has never met my son. He has also never paid child support. He is over $11,000 in arrears. He has however made several empty promises via e mail. However he has never made good on any promise or ever excersised ANY of his parental rights. I have good word from the probation dept that did our home study that he plans to show up to contest the adoption. He plans to give his "poor me" sob story to the judge. He has claimed to many people that i have "kept the baby from him" which is absurd and simply untrue and have many e mails to the contrary. In fact the ONE TIME he asked to see my son, i said YES and i requested him to take a hair follicle drug test and he declined. My view was that if he is clean and sober, then why deny a test? Our custody order is that i have sole custody and he has visitation at my discretion. He has CONSTANTLY referrs to me as psycho and crazy c*nt because i try to ask him about child support and such. He says i am stalking him and i need to "leave him alone"...
My question is there a chance a judge will deny my husband petition? What would the biological father have to prove to be able to stop the adoption? I feel our bases are very well covered, but i want to know what will he be required to prove?

[cyjeff]

So, you only "allowed" the father of the child to see him if you violated his rights?

May I assume that you did not have any sort of court permission to begin your random drug testing?

To stop the adoption, the father of the child simply has to say, "no". You will have to prove that he must have his parental rights stripped away.

A judge will see your controlling behavior as just that.

Here is what I would plan on seeing.... a change in custody where the father of the child has established visitation... not at YOUR discretion, at the court's.

By the way, if you have been playing fast and lose with the father's rights and your child calls that legal stranger you are married to "Dad", you are really not going to like court very much.

[mommabear21]

So, you only "allowed" the father of the child to see him if you violated his rights?

May I assume that you did not have any sort of court permission to begin your random drug testing?

To stop the adoption, the father of the child simply has to say, "no". You will have to prove that he must have his parental rights stripped away.

A judge will see your controlling behavior as just that.

Here is what I would plan on seeing.... a change in custody where the father of the child has established visitation... not at YOUR discretion, at the court's.

By the way, if you have been playing fast and lose with the father's rights and your child calls that legal stranger you are married to "Dad", you are really not going to like court very much.

no. The court order states that he may have visitation at MY discresion. When I filed for custody, i filed for supervised visits. The JUDGE opted to make it at MY disresion since he didnt bother to show up to the hearing. Based on his lifestyle, my discresion was drug testing. But you obviously didnt read my post. I said the biological father has NEVER MET MY SON. NOt by MY choice, but by his own. How am i "controlling". If i was 'controlling' and didnt want him to be in his life then i would have just not talked to him or offered a drug test at all. I would have just said F you...but i am not that kind of person. I gave him 2 years of chances...he didnt want them.
Secondly, of course my son calls my husband 'dad" he has never met his bio father. He is the only dad he has ever known.

[cyjeff]

no. The court order states that he may have visitation at MY discresion. When I filed for custody, i filed for supervised visits. The JUDGE opted to make it at MY disresion since he didnt bother to show up to the hearing. Based on his lifestyle, my discresion was drug testing. But you obviously didnt read my post. I said the biological father has NEVER MET MY SON. NOt by MY choice, but by his own. How am i "controlling". If i was 'controlling' and didnt want him to be in his life then i would have just not talked to him or offered a drug test at all. I would have just said F you...but i am not that kind of person. I gave him 2 years of chances...he didnt want them.
Secondly, of course my son calls my husband 'dad" he has never met his bio father. He is the only dad he has ever known.

First, unless a judge SPECIFICALLY gives you the right to infringe upon your ex's personal civil rights, you do NOT have the right to force him to jump through your hoops to see HIS child. Being granted custodial custody (not sole custody) of the child does not give you the right to inflict your standards upon your

Have you proven to a court of law that this drug use not only exists but is also a danger to the child?

He apparently wants his chance at his child now. That is his right as father.

Your husband has no right to the name "Dad". That nickname belongs solely to the father of the child.

Your encouragement of your child to recognize a legal stranger as "father" is not going to play well in court... as will be evidenced when your husband is not even allowed in the courtroom when the decision is made. It will be seen as the obvious machinations of a parent to replace the other.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If you had grounds to believe that your ex was using drugs and thus would pose a danger to the child if granted access to the child, you should have gone to court and asked the court to order drug testing. As you did not, and chose instead to deny access based upon your personal, arbitrary demand, you have created a context where the father may be able to convince the court that the only reason he hasn't seen the child is because you unreasonably refused him access. The net result of this is that when you go to court, you will state your side, he will state his, and the court will decide if this is a case of abandonment or of your preventing the father from being able to form a relationship with his child.