Pregnant Teenage Daughter Wants to Give Child Up for Adoption

[fridaynight]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Texas

My daughter is now 16 and about 11 weeks pregnant. She was somewhat dating a boy for a few months before she became pregnant. He raped her over Memorial Day weekend. She won't let me go to the police and now She says that he says she "over-reacted". This boy has completely messed with her head.

She does not have anything to do with the boy after that incident, this was her first and only sexual encounter. I know many will not believe it, but it really is true in this situation.

Myself, my daughter and my husband sat down and talked to her about what was going to happen with the baby, we all decided adoption would be best. The boy has since found out that is her intention and has threatened to go to court for the baby saying they will never allow adoption but will take it to raise. It has become very extremely clear that the boy is abusive and his father is also abusive.

We do not want this child to be raised by the boy who raped my daughter (I hate to even call him the father of their child), we want the child to grow up in a loving environment with two parents who will love him/her and have a stable life - not grow up knowing it's mom got pregnant when she was 16 and Jr. in high school.

What can we do? Does the boy have any rights? What would happen if we moved her out of state with relatives where they couldn't find her until after the baby is born? Do we have any options?

I'm thinking, if a girl has a right to choose what to do with the baby before it's born, shouldn't she have a right to choose what happens to the baby after it's born? A man can't force a woman to have an abortion,right? He shouldn't be able to keep her from giving the baby up for adoption then?

My daughter doesn't want to come forward and press charges against the boy. He is only 16 also.

[CourtClerk]

So let me get this right. You and your husband, both presumably adults and supposedly responsible for the health and welfare of your minor child suspect that your child has been RAPED (a very strong word) and you don't go to the authorities because she (a minor child who knows nothing about life) doesn't want you to?????

Suppose she got hit by a car or shot in the head. If she didn't want you to call the police or an ambulance would you respect her wishes then? Why or why not. The fact that none of you want to call the police means that this was anything BUT rape, but a couple of teenagers that let their hormones take control and now your angel baby has second thoughts about her actions, especially since there is a baby in her belly.

As for him, he has the legal right to contest the adoption and what YOU want is inconsequential since you have no legal rights to the child your daughter is carrying. If he wishes to raise the child, he can do so and sue your daughter for child support.

[Mr. Knowitall]

Sometimes, girls whose parents are judgmental about sexual activity come up with stories to explain how it's not "their fault" that they're pregnant. "I was raped", followed by, "Not so much, but it was my first time", could indicate that the girl is trying to convince her parents that she's still a "good girl", not that she's now protecting her boyfriend. But no, if this was a rape victim, the victim's not wanting to call the police doesn't transform the incident into one involving consent.

Unless a rape is proved in court, I see nothing that would trigger the father's involuntarily losing his parental rights.

[fridaynight]

Sometimes, girls whose parents are judgmental about sexual activity come up with stories to explain how it's not "their fault" that they're pregnant. "I was raped", followed by, "Not so much, but it was my first time", could indicate that the girl is trying to convince her parents that she's still a "good girl", not that she's now protecting her boyfriend. But no, if this was a rape victim, the victim's not wanting to call the police doesn't transform the incident into one involving consent.

Unless a rape is proved in court, I see nothing that would trigger the father's involuntarily losing his parental rights.

Seriously, she was raped, no one's making up anything. The boy is a controlling jerk - just like his father. She wouldn't give him her email password so he threw her cell phone across the room so hard that it broke when it hit the wall. He has seriously messed with her head over the past few months up to the rape.

I am hopeful that she will change her mind about pressing charges. I think it would be the only way for the baby to be placed for adoption and have a chance at a good life as well as my daughter to try to piece back together her own life.

So let me get this right. You and your husband, both presumably adults and supposedly responsible for the health and welfare of your minor child suspect that your child has been RAPED (a very strong word) and you don't go to the authorities because she (a minor child who knows nothing about life) doesn't want you to?????

Suppose she got hit by a car or shot in the head. If she didn't want you to call the police or an ambulance would you respect her wishes then? Why or why not. The fact that none of you want to call the police means that this was anything BUT rape, but a couple of teenagers that let their hormones take control and now your angel baby has second thoughts about her actions, especially since there is a baby in her belly.

As for him, he has the legal right to contest the adoption and what YOU want is inconsequential since you have no legal rights to the child your daughter is carrying. If he wishes to raise the child, he can do so and sue your daughter for child support.

What do you think would happen if we made her go to the police but then she lied because she wasn't ready to face what had happened. They can't press charges if she won't tell them the truth. She wouldn't mention a word of it for a week - too long to collect evidence. All she kept telling me was that he wouldn't let her leave, he broke her phone, they got into a huge fight and she never wanted to see him again. She didn't mention anything about sex until she told me she was pregnant and then everything started coming out. I had my strong suspicions - but she's 16, how do you make a 16 year old girl tell you the truth, let alone tell the police, before she's ready to?

If she had been hit by a car, the evidence of that would be all over the place. The evidence of the rape is in her words and demeanor. She is in counseling with a psychologist who also believes she has been raped. This was not two teenagers with hormones raging. If she or the boy keep this baby - their chances of making a decent life for themselves goes down the drain and the chances of them living on state/federal assistance shoots way up. Their chances of attending and finishing college go way down. This is not what I want for any of them. What about the baby - how would you like to grow up in that situation vs. a loving situation with two parents who are emotionally and financially able to raise a child. My daughter wants this for her baby, not for the baby to grow up knowing it's father raped it's mother and that's how it came into this world.

You're a sarcastic jerk who obviously has never dealt with a teenager before.

[price5]

court clerk strikes again same name, diff site...

BUT op, you can press charges! someone raped your 16 year old! now then, while i do find it ridiculous we women can get abortions w/o a man's consent, but cannot do adoption w/o consent is stupid as crap...
the boy does have his rights. and if he does gain custody, it is very possible that he also can get the hair to take your daughter to court for child support. you really need to explain to your daughter what the legal ramifications are with this. if she is worried he will do something to her, you get a restraining order. get counseling. is it possible your daughter was drinking, and had sex? there's alot more questions to this, and only your daughter can answer them. after more googling, i found this:
http://iaatp.com/docs/FAQs-TX.pdf
it says your daughter can relinquish her own rights, after the child is 48 hours old. then the father has the option to assert his own adoption plan, or relinquish his rights as well...you'll have to read the whole thing, b/c it covers mothers first, then fathers, then husbands(who are not biological fathers of children he has legally been determined to have fathered).

[LawResearcherMissy]

I am hopeful that she will change her mind about pressing charges.

As her parent, YOU can press charges. And you should, really, if your intent is to keep this from happening again. How old is the miscreant that raped her?

I had my strong suspicions - but she's 16, how do you make a 16 year old girl tell you the truth, let alone tell the police, before she's ready to?

You do what you've already done, and put her into counseling. And then you go on and press charges without her. Get thee to the police station.

Whether or not you like what CC had to say to you, she is correct. The truth here is harsh and ugly, and there's nothing that can make it prettier or nicer. The boy has every right to pursue his parental rights, up to and including taking full custody of the child and suing your daughter for support. What you think about it is completely irrelevant - under the law, you are a stranger to the child, and have no legal say in what happens to him/her after the birth. Harsh. Ugly. But truth.

By pressing charges, you may be able to fend such pursuit off - it's really hard to exercise your parental rights when you're locked up, after all. Price has provided a document and suggestions. I would advise you to read the document, and follow the suggestions.

[Mr. Knowitall]

If the therapist received a credible rape accusation with a minor victim, it seems that she should have notified the police under the state's mandatory reporting law. You can ask her if she made a report.

[wakefieldb05]

hey i was wondering did u decide what yall were doing about the child if she had the baby or did she find out about potential parent for the child. the rapist is a complete asshole but if you didnt find a parent for the child me and my fiance are looking to adopt a child and we are very interested about this 1 and we are very willing and loving to give this child a place to call home and a family to love it

[cyjeff]

hey i was wondering did u decide what yall were doing about the child if she had the baby or did she find out about potential parent for the child. the rapist is a complete asshole but if you didnt find a parent for the child me and my fiance are looking to adopt a child and we are very interested about this 1 and we are very willing and loving to give this child a place to call home and a family to love it

I am not saying you are a bad person.

I am saying that anyone that would troll message boards in an attempt to obtain a child will be seen as a REALLY bad person.

Do you not understand what a really bad idea it is to do this? How much a really bad idea it would be for anyone to give an anonymous poster on a message board a child is?

If you want to adopt a child, there are ways to do that. If you say those are too expensive, then you save up. This is not an impulse buy... if you want a child, you sacrifice.

[Dogmatique]

hey i was wondering did u decide what yall were doing about the child if she had the baby or did she find out about potential parent for the child. the rapist is a complete asshole but if you didnt find a parent for the child me and my fiance are looking to adopt a child and we are very interested about this 1 and we are very willing and loving to give this child a place to call home and a family to love it

Please seek the services of an adoption agency.

It's not really cool to use this kind of message board.