Can I Get Court Ordered Visitation While Still Being with My Child's Mother

[ayreguy]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Pennsylvania

My future wife and I have a daughter and she has a son from a previous relationship. He ex is using her son to trap her in the county. I work almost 2 hours away and have to do so to provide for my family, which includes her son. We are being told that relocation is out of the question! The judge in her home county does not permit anyone to relocate no matter the situation. So working 5 days a week 2 hours from my family I can not get home every night. In fact I only can be home 2 days a week. The courts will not recognize my daughter and my relationship because "we chose to bring a child into this situation".

My question is, is there anyway to force the courts to recognize my relationship with my daughter when establishing living arrangements and visitation of my stepson?

[LawResearcherMissy]

"Force"? No, one doesn't "force" the courts to do anything. It's the other way 'round.

Has paternity of the child been legally established? The only reason I can see that the courts don't recognize your relationship with your daughter would be because paternity has not been legally established. Or the judge may not look kindly upon the fact that you and the child's mother are unwed.

Surely you have an attorney for these issues? What has s/he said?

So working 5 days a week 2 hours from my family I can not get home every night. In fact I only can be home 2 days a week.

Out of curiosity, what do you do that you're unable to get home after work each night? Is there the possibility of more flexible scheduling?

Mind, I'm not unsympathetic. My husband works 2.5 to 3 hours from home 3 or 4 days a week and in town 1 or 2 days a week. He's only gone overnight once a week, though - he's home for dinner every night but one. If your employer is willing to work out a more favorable scheduling arrangement for you, it might help alleviate the strain.

[Mr. Knowitall]

I believe he's trying to say that the court refuses to consider modifying the mother's custody order on the basis that she had a child with her fiancé - that their choice to have a child is not relevant to the determination of whether or not she should be able to change the domicile of her son. The mother's the person who needs a lawyer, if she doesn't yet have one.

[ayreguy]

I believe he's trying to say that the court refuses to consider modifying the mother's custody order on the basis that she had a child with her fiancé - that their choice to have a child is not relevant to the determination of whether or not she should be able to change the domicile of her son. The mother's the person who needs a lawyer, if she doesn't yet have one.

This is correct. She has a lawyer but I have heard in the small county we live in attorneys down not fight very hard for anything because they will get a bad reputation. AGAIN this is just what I heard and not my opinion but so far it seems pretty accurate.

Anyway the child physiologist thought that the best thing for the child would be to be with his mother Monday - Thursday and his father Friday - Sunday making relocation impossible.

He justified his decision because when he asked the young child who he would rather live with the child cried and said he wanted to see both his parents. I am not a physiologist but I did take general physiology in college. Half of the semester was spend on children. And from what I remember when a child this young is asked questions they deal in absolutes. Making this a normal reaction because he would be thinking that whoever he picks he will never see the other again.
Sorry for the rant but this is a really frustrating situation for me.

[jk]

E=ayreguy;324930]This is correct. She has a lawyer but I have heard in the small county we live in attorneys down not fight very hard for anything because they will get a bad reputation. AGAIN this is just what I heard and not my opinion but so far it seems pretty accurate.

then hire a lawyer from an adjacent county.

Anyway the child physiologist thought that the best thing for the child would be to be with his mother Monday - Thursday and his father Friday - Sunday making relocation impossible

.is there something wrong with the child that a physiologist would be dealing with the child? Is she handicapped?

and why would that schedule make relocating impossible?

He justified his decision because when he asked the young child who he would rather live with the child cried and said he wanted to see both his parents. I am not a physiologist but I did take general physiology in college. Half of the semester was spend on children. And from what I remember when a child this young is asked questions they deal in absolutes. Making this a normal reaction because he would be thinking that whoever he picks he will never see the other again

.Oh, you must mean phsychologist.

so, have the courts refused to modify the visitation agreement or are you simply basing it on what the physiologist(?) is stating and for some reason find that unworkable and you have gone no further?

[LawResearcherMissy]

And from what I remember when a child this young is asked questions they deal in absolutes.

I took child psychology when studying for my teaching credentials. And yes, this is the case. Little kids think in absolutes, and when you push them to think more abstractly, it can be very traumatizing for them.

The courts don't like to traumatize little kids.

The issue here isn't that the courts don't recognize your relationship with your child. The issue is that the courts are putting the best interests of your fiancee's FIRST child first. Because...well, he was here first.

The court isn't interested in what you want, the court is interested in the best interests of the child in question, and is not going to take you into account when determining appropriate visitation and custody for him.

Has the court ordered your fiancee not to relocate? Or have you just decided the if you relocate, the child's visitation schedule will be inconvenient for you? There is a difference, and it does matter.

[ayreguy]

I took child psychology when studying for my teaching credentials. And yes, this is the case. Little kids think in absolutes, and when you push them to think more abstractly, it can be very traumatizing for them.

The courts don't like to traumatize little kids.

The issue here isn't that the courts don't recognize your relationship with your child. The issue is that the courts are putting the best interests of your fiancee's FIRST child first. Because...well, he was here first.

The court isn't interested in what you want, the court is interested in the best interests of the child in question, and is not going to take you into account when determining appropriate visitation and custody for him.

Has the court ordered your fiancee not to relocate? Or have you just decided the if you relocate, the child's visitation schedule will be inconvenient for you? There is a difference, and it does matter.

The court has not ordered her to relocate but her lawyer told us that we would have to get a relocation hearing for this. The county that this would be in the Judge point blank does not allow relocation. The Judge sat in out the mediation and when the subject of moving the other fathers child came up it was shot down by the other lawyer. After the meeting the Judge told both parties that he does not grant relocation because when he had in the past the people would end up back in court 2 months later.
Even though I can totally support both children and their mother with out any additions income. Giving both children a full time mother.

So my childs relationship with me is not important to the court?

[jk]

Giving both children a full time mother.

they have a full time mother now.







.

[ayreguy]

they have a full time mother now.







.

Full time mother meaning she would not have to work and could be home with the children 24/7

[jk]

you already said you could support the mom and the kids without help. So, support her where she is at and they have a full time mom.


what does any of that have to do with relocating?