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  1. #1
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    May 2009
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    Default Get a No Contact Order Lifted in Michigan

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: Michigan

    This is the statement I gave the night of our incident. I only gave this because the police told me it would be better for my husband for me to explain the situation fully. They told me I could bail him out the next day and when I went to the Jail they said there was a no contact order and he couldn't come to the house and I couldn't bail him out. I am devastated. What do I do? He will be staying in a mission across from the jail until i can get this sorted out.

    I write this statement with a very heavy heart. I absolutely did not want to have to bring law enforcement into this situation. Earlier in the day I noticed my husband had been drinking. He has had a long struggle with alcoholism. I confronted him in the late afternoon and he agreed to stop. He came in and took a nap. He later became very upset when I let him know I had spoken with his grandmother and wanted him to take a break for a while and visit his family out of state. He took out some suitcases and was going to pack when he said he wanted me to go and get him some beer. I told him I would rather he spend the evening with the family now that he had sobered up and he insisted upon my getting him some beer. I told him I loved him and our son too much to do that to him. I told him it would only be bad for the family. He calmed down but stayed insistent. He then got very angry when I wouldn't give him a credit card and I think he tried to get my attention and lightly slapped my face. I think that shocked us both because he has never hurt me in anyway. He then stepped outside a little stunned and he got very angry. He demanded more beer and I said no shaking my head. He then threw something at the house breaking the house lamp and pulled out the mailbox. I was worried that he might break a window so I called the police. He then picked up a hunting bow, I believe to use as intimidation for me to do what he wanted. I know he never intended to hurt me or anyone else.

    I have no marks or injury. I do not want him to get in any trouble. I want him to get help. I would have tried to handle this myself but I have a little boy in the house who loves his daddy so much that I didn't want him exposed to this in any way. All I can say is that I am very sad about the way this played out. He is a good man with a big problem and I only want to see him get his life together. He has been unemployed for a couple of months and that has weighed very heavy on him. Please take mercy on him and realize that he is loved very much by a large family full of support.

  2. #2

    Default Re: Get a No Contact Order Lifted in Michigan

    The no contact order is automatic due to the arrest for domestic violence in Michigan. You can contact the prosecutor's office to discuss dropping the order, but if you've got children in the house, given that he picked up a lethal weapon (yes, a bow is a lethal weapon), regardless of whether YOU believed he'd use it or not, the odds that the prosecution will even CONSIDER dropping the order are about 1 in a million.

    You wanting him to get in trouble or not isn't legally relevent. When people commit crimes, trouble is pending. This crime wasn't committed just against you - but also against your children, and all other members of society.

    The only person who can make him seek or get help is HIM - no matter how badly you want that to happen, and no matter if a court orders it or not. If he's got a long history of alcoholism and isn't ACTIVELY seeking help, that's a BIG red flag.

    You've got to get to a point of reality where you understand that YOU have no control over him, his actions, his intentions, his drinking, or what society or "the system" can and will do to him unless HE gets HIMSELF under control. HE needs to get help for himself. No amount of your love (or anyone else's love) can stop someone from committing violence, acting out in alcoholic rage, or doing something that can result in your children being taken away.

    There ARE a few things you have control over in this situation - but his decisions and probably his fate aren't among them. Keeping your children IS among them, for now, but may not remain that way. Get very familiar with this thread:

    http://www.expertlaw.com/forums/showthread.php?t=77360
    Catherine NeSmith
    Executive Director
    AARDVARC.org, Inc.
    http://www.aardvarc.org

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