Opinions needed-child custody in New Jersey

**selina6446** · 04-12-2005, 07:55 PM

Oh where to begin. Well 7 years ago I had a son. He was born with a severe CHD and has had multiple open heart surgeries and procedures. His dad was never put on the birth certificate but when we went to court for child support he signed papers that he was the father. When our son was 4 he took me to court for paternity and the judge refused to do it. I had always been the custodial parent with his dad seeing him sporadicly. Usually only when I called after several months when my son asked for him. The problem is I was incarcerated for 6 months for writing a BIG bad check in 1999. My aunt was going to take temporary custody of my son during that time but for some reason his dad decided to. My son loves his dad so I figured this was a good thing. The problem is when I came home on March 10th I called him and he refused to let me see him. I went down to the court and was told the last order issued was that I was the primary custodail parent and his dad had parenting time. He never asked for any visitation order. I went to my sons school to see if I could at least see him and they showed me an order that his dad was given sole custody while I was incarcerated and I didn't have any rights what so ever. This is killing me. I did get to see him and it broke my heart to tell him he couldn't come home with me. Of corse it was the first thing he asked me. We are going before a mediator next Tuesday. The court actually called him while I was there to see if he would allow me to see him during the 2 weeks in between. He said NO. He also wouldn't even gp to the mediator this week. H etold them he wanted 2 weeks notice. So its next Tuesday. Any way I have consulted an attorney whom I will see at the end of the week. I speak to his principal daily to make sure he is doing well and I feel like I should be doing more. I want my son back home with me. His dads girlfriend called me to tell me game on we have your son and your not getting him back! How could he begiven sole custody without my knowledge and then the court forget to put the order in? Can he not let me see him. I think this is doing more harm then anything else. I tried to explainto his dad that this wasn't about him and I it is about our son. But he doesn't want to hear any of that. He is now father of the year! I know I've made mistakes but I have paid for them in many ways. If anyone has any insite into this please help me. I am beside myself. I held this little guy in my arms many times not knowing if he was going to make it through the night. By myself and now he is telling me I can't even see him. Do I have any chance of getting himback?? Help!! Also he was unable to sign any medical consents for my son. Has that changed now and what about the fact that last summer when my son was in the hospital I kept trying to call his dad and finally his girlfriend answered and said he wasn't calling or coming to see him because he didn't know if he was the dad!!!

**aaron** · 04-13-2005, 10:12 AM

It is peculiar for a court order to be entered during a period of incarceration effecting any permanent change of custody, although a temporary emergency order would be another matter. Any permanent change should come only as a result of proper court procedure, with proper notice and opportunity to appear extended to even an incarcerated parent.

It does not help the father that he is declining to grant you reasonable access to the child, even when asked to do so by the court. Your attorney should be able to indicate the impact that is likely to have on the outcome of your case. But ideally, you'll work out something mutually agreeable through the mediation process.

**selina6446** · 04-13-2005, 11:02 AM

I just filed my income tax and it was refused because dad claimed my son. My son was not with him until Sept 17th. I am told to file a paper return. Does this sound right??

**aaron** · 04-13-2005, 08:56 PM

The IRS has its own rules for who can claim the deduction for a child. Your claim was probably rejected because it came after they had received the father's return, and they automatically reject a duplicate claim for a child based upon the child's SSN. If you file on paper, they will likely perform an audit to determine who is entitled to the deduction.