[texas01t]

My question involves paternity law for the State of: Texas

I am 33 weeks pregnant with a baby boy and have some questions that I REALLY need some help with, and have researched but have been unsuccessful with finding much help!

I had been in a relationship with one guy for the past three years and we had broken up this past August. Of course in early October I find out that I am 8 weeks pregnant, and we end up getting back together. We have been together since and are doing great. There is one issue that he is very aware of (I told him the same day that I found out that I was pregnant) and that is that I had slept with ONE other person about two weeks after we had broken up, putting my date of "conception" dangerously close to this other person. Either way, like I said we have been doing great, and he claims that he wants to marry me and be the father to this child. We both agreed for the sake of our relationship (and the child) that we would NOT ever do a DNA test.

I am worried about this child down the road-I don't want to set him up for being walked out on by his "father" if later our relationship does not work out for some reason. In other words, I do not want for this man to be able to after being in the child's life and being a huge part of it be able to just up and leave....I don't want to have to deal with any paternal legal issues down the road.

Here are my questions: if he signs the AOP does he become the hands-down biological father? and can he become the biological father (like he wants to..) WITHOUT doing a DNA test?

Also, is there anything down the road that I should be made aware of that might possibly require a DNA test..such as inheritance, social security, insurance, ect.? Or will he just be presumed to be the biological father no matter what after signing the AOP?

Help with these questions is GREATLY appreciated

[aardvarc]

Either way, like I said we have been doing great, and he claims that he wants to marry me and be the father to this child.

If you are married to him at the time of the birth, he is presumed to be the father of the child.

We both agreed for the sake of our relationship (and the child) that we would NOT ever do a DNA test.

Ah but here's the kicker: this isn't all up to YOU. The courts don't give a hoot about your relationship, they care about the rights of the CHILD, including the right to know their father. Mr OneNightStand can pop up at some time in the future and ask the court to ORDER the DNA test, whether you got married to the other guy or not. If it belongs to him, you can expect him to be involved in the child's life, either via custody/visitation, or child support. Remember, the father has EQUAL rights to the child that you do.

I am worried about this child down the road-I don't want to set him up for being walked out on by his "father" if later our relationship does not work out for some reason.

Unfortunately, EVERY child is at risk for this, and there is little you can do to prevent it except realizing that relationships take work, dedication, effort, compromise, fidelity, communication, and a thousand other elements in order to be successful, and being willing to work to keep it humming along.

In other words, I do not want for this man to be able to after being in the child's life and being a huge part of it be able to just up and leave.

What's the plan, shackle him to the wall? People can leave relationships that aren't working for them - married or not, father of the child or not. That doesn't mean that a court can't find him (even if he's not the father) still on the hook for support, but you need to be realistic in understanding that he's not EVER going to forget that he might not be the father - and if there IS a split, you can expect this to be one of the issues that'll be addressed - either between you two or in court. Personally, I'd say GET the DNA test once the baby arrives and go from there - at least that way everyone understands what's happening right up front. If it's his, woohoo...if it's not then at least all the cards are on the table. This isn't the kind of thing that ends well when people don't know one way or the other. (But from a purely anthropological standpoint, homo sapiens males are wired to raise and protect their OWN biological children, not those of others.)

I don't want to have to deal with any paternal legal issues down the road.

There's no way to say it nicely, but the time to decide this was BEFORE putting paternity in question.

Here are my questions: if he signs the AOP does he become the hands-down biological father? and can he become the biological father (like he wants to..) WITHOUT doing a DNA test?

No. He becomes the LEGAL father, and the father can STILL arrive later and request a DNA test to establish HIS legal rights. You can't change someone from a non-biological father to a biological one unless you have a time machine.

Also, is there anything down the road that I should be made aware of that might possibly require a DNA test..such as inheritance, social security, insurance, ect.?

Medical issues, particularly those where an accurate family history is important, or for diseases or conditions where there is a genetic component (hundreds of possibilities there), organ transplants, etc.

Or will he just be presumed to be the biological father no matter what after signing the AOP?

The ONLY circumstance where someone is a biological father is if the baby is carrying his DNA. Signing the AOP makes him a LEGAL father only, and as noted, it can still be challenged.

[texas01t]

Thank you so much for your honest answers He went and signed the AOP yesterday at the hospital along with the birth certificate info just to get it out of the way, but I have decided that I am going to DNA test anyway after the baby is born. I obtained my phone bill records from my phone service yesterday-and I could tell from those what dates I had been where in that month and lets just say that the odds are in his favor! Thanks again for your help.