I married my wife in good faith in May 2007, she is a US Citizen, approximately 1 month before my OPT work permit expired. We both agreed that it was for the best and that way I could get started on working again for us as soon as possible and that she and I wouldn't have to be separated from each other. We were both very much in love.
During our marriage there was a long wait for the work permit to get approved so I was unemployed and she was working for us, my mother would send support money every month and I had some savings and credit cards. Her Biological father is the affidavit of support but we've never asked him for money, we promised him we wouldn't burden him.
Once I got the permit I got hold of a job about 2 weeks afterward. I held this job for approximately 4 months before being terminated. I proceeded to hunt for another job during this time. My wife had problems at her work place , infact she had an affair with a coworker :/ a kiss was involved but she had infatuation with him. It occured once, I gathered from her chat history to friends, she soon found him to be a jerk after I confronted her about it. Problems persisted and eventually she quit her job while I was still unemployed. During this time the debt mounted. She finally found a job after 2 months, I still could not. She wanted me to work closeby and within her schedule since she did not have a drivers license or a vehicle. She also did not approve of me working at any low end jobs like fast food chains "I don't want to tell my family my husband works at a fast food chain". I graduated with a BS in Computer Science.
During our Interview in July, the officers required further evidence such as bankstatements and photos. We sent those in. Showing all our income being deposited into a joint account.
I made the mistake of forgetting when the EAD permit expired, I saw it in NOVEMBER, and the expiration was for NOVEMBER. By this time we were deeply in debt and living paycheck to paycheck. We could not afford the 340 fee. I saw a clause that stated something about not having to pay again if we filed in July 30 2007, which I thought thats what our receipt said. After sending it in once in November we got no reply, I sent in another copy in December and got a reply , they stated I needed to pay. We still didn't have the money.
During this time I fell into a deep depression. We both seemed to still love each other, we celebrated her birthday, went to inlaws for Thanksgiving, celebrated Xmas, my birthday in January.
I first noticed signs of trouble on Valentine's Day. At first I was saying we couldn't really afford roses.... and we sure couldn't but the side of me that loved her said, get them. I finally got them for her and she didn't seem so enthused about them, she said I only got them because I thought I had to. Yes I thought I had to show her I loved her and that VDay was important.
It would be later that I found out she was talking to other guys online on this very day.
Cutting to the chase a bit. She left for a weekend "sleepover" get together with female coworkers. I got worried that she didn't come back the next day. I drove around, knocked on doors etc. I finally checked her computer and in the saved texts she had agreed to meet up with some guys before this. I confronted her and she admitted to had having sex the night before and that she had "met somone". She said she wanted a divorce.
I did many things after this, many of them revolving around asking her to give me another chance, to stay with me , dinner dates etc. I went out the next day after finding out and got working gigs to pay for it all. I truly loved her. She has kept on the infidelity, I told her I did not condone it. She has since packed up all her things into boxes, half of it has been moved to this guys place. She hasn't slept in the apartment in about 1 1/2 weeks but she says she'll be back this wednesday. She says she is in love and part of the reason she is leaving was because of my financial instability. She paid half of last months rent but has kept the rest of her paycheck. There is no guarantee she will pay the upcoming rents even though she is co signed.
In Virginia, a 1 year separation is required before filing for no fault divorce. Without kids it can be reduced to 6 months? I have since applied for my work permit. Have done two infopass appointments to check on the GC, it is in EXTENDED REVIEW. I still love my wife and hope in some way we can still get back together, I do not want a divorce, I saw a future with her and it is hard to give that up. I am depressed and both angry and sad. I am angry that she is continuing the affair. We cannot reconcile as long as it continues.
Is there a way to move states to prevent the separation and divorce law? California has no separation law? Can I or should I file for Fault Divorce? I have proof of logged emails and messages. I've yet to hire an investigator. I have the car description and license plate of the "other guy".
I intend to get the Green Card, in order to be successful in USA to prove to her that we can make it and have a chance to be with her. Is there anyway to remove the conditions as well? What about the rent and bills issues? I have CC bills that were incurred due to both our spending and unemployment. I don't know why the AOS is in extended review and was told it could go on indefinitely. I also was considering joining the military with a conditional Green Card, what would this entail if I am divorced while still conditional and part of the military?
I've contacted an Immigration Lawyer but I've yet to retain them and sit down and talk about things, we've talked briefly over the phone and they said that conditions can be removed after a divorce but I do not know under what criteria.