Lifting a No Contact Order in Massachusetts

**miranda12** · 04-09-2009, 02:55 AM

My question involves criminal law for the state of: Massachusetts.

Hi, the past two weeks have been very frustrating for me. I have been unable to contact my fiance of two years. I was arrested on the account of assault and battery. Here is how the whole fight was;

We have never been in an argument before. We have always been really happy people, together and apart. I was trying to sleep one morning and my fiance wanted the TV up louder. It was silly at first, but he was serious that he did not want the TV off. I proceeded to unplug the TV because I was sick and wanted the TV off. He grabbed my arm hard, I let go and let it be and put my head under the pillow and tried to sleep. Moments later he says he wants to go to his families house instead of staying here tonight. Me, being stubborn, ask him not to leave. He was on the floor packing and I reached from behind him to wrap my arms around him and say I was sorry for the argument. He was still mad, he continued to lift my up while I still had my arms wrapped around him, which pinched him and left a mark across his neck(similar to a hickey). The mark is no longer visible, nor was it visible after about 20-30 minutes. So unlike a hickey, the force that made the blood come to surface did not need to be major. I then stood up on the bed and our bed was not sturdy and I fell catching his shirt and hair mid-fall. He was upset that I pulled his hair, he cried. I cried, and we were both upset because we've never fought before. It was a scary thing. He went upstairs to his mothers, where is mother pushed him to contact authorities. She also later pushed him to get a 209A, which defaulted and was terminated because he did not show to renew it. I am now being charged with assault and battery. They have pictures of his "injuries" even though they were all accidents and he is willing to admit that he did blow things out of proportion and he was upset and scared because like I said before, we've never fought like this. I am not saying I am not guilty of causing him harm, but I did not mean to and he knows that. The state is pressing charges and ordered us to not contact each other(on my behalf). The trial is the 23rd of this month, he has not been subpoenaed and he wants to contact me so I am allowed home. I am being forced to stay 2 hours away from my place and have been unable to work or contact him. We did talk for two days before they told me to not talk to him, in case anyone was wondering. Sorry about the long story. I was wondering how I can fight this case and remove the no contact order. We are perfectly fine and still love on another and planned to be married this October...

Thank you in advance for all the help. I do notice these forums are always well answered and helpful, and when viewing this please do not explain how we should not be together. If you love someone, it is one's own will for them to be together and I think even though this is happening it will only make him and I stronger and our love for one another stronger. Please, someone have heart and help me.

**LawResearcherMissy** · 04-09-2009, 04:06 AM

Once the authorities become involved, there's nothing you can do to stop things from proceeding. The state is going to press on, regardless of his wishes or yours, because he went to the authorities and filed for a restraining order.

Get a lawyer.

And when it's done? Both of you need to get into counseling before you even THINK about getting married. His Mama's got a little too much hold on him, and he's going to need help cutting those apron strings.

**miranda12** · 04-09-2009, 11:01 AM

Is he allowed to admit that the situation was an accident. That even though these things did take place, they wouldn't have if he wasn't being reckless?

**LawResearcherMissy** · 04-09-2009, 11:20 AM

Is he allowed to admit that the situation was an accident.

Of course he is.

That even though these things did take place, they wouldn't have if he wasn't being reckless?

WHO was being reckless, now?

I'd be awfully careful about claiming that he was the one at fault, here.

**aardvarc** · 04-09-2009, 11:23 AM

Anyone can admit to anything they want. But actions that are made consciously are NOT accidents, no matter how much they are regretted later.

The hair pulling that occurred in the course of falling MIGHT be seen an an accident, BUT that action occurred proximate to one party restraining the other party - once you put your arms around him to prevent him from leaving, you were open to liability for what occurred afterwards. It's against the law to physically attempt to restrain another person. You just don't get to put your hands on other people that way. Yes, it happens all the time, and most of the time couples fight/argue this way and then kiss and makeup and go about their lives. BUT in this case the action (a criminal one) was reported to police, which puts a case "in the system". The rest wasn't "accidental", it just produced an outcome other than the desired one.

Before you decide to move on with this relationship, consider carefully that for it to work in the long run, and for you as a couple to NOT go through this again, means that:

a) you'll need to improve your conflict resolution skills, and find ways to manage conflicts and have arguements that don't include thinking you have the legal ability to restrain someone from leaving at will, and

b) as Missy pointed out, that you are tying your life to a person who is willing to run to the police and have you CRIMINALLY charged at the urging of his mother.

Regardless of the outcome of this case, until and unless BOTH of those issues can be somewhat resolved, you are at risk of this playing itself out again. No matter how much you love each other, the police and the courts don't care - so figure out how to love each other in a context that doesn't include them.