Can the Custodial Parent Deny My Visitation

[ir21]

I obtained a final order of visitation in NY in 2000.

Since then I have had many issues enforcing the visitation because whenever it suited the CP, she would deny me access, not answer the door, lie to the police when I called them, even claiming the final order had expired.

In late January, she finally got my 10 year old to refuse to come down for pick up for two consecutive visits (alternate weekends) until I "learned a lesson". I drive across town to pick-up and refuse to keep playing this game with her. It's been 10 years and I'm frustrated and hurt. Furthermore, my child made certain comments that led me to believe that she can and will use our child against me in court. So, I haven't gone back since. I feel like I can't keep fighting this endless unnecessary war, when all I want is to pick up my child and proceed with my day, especially when I feel that she is trying to set me up so that if I go to court, I will lose or look unfit. She's done it before and it cost me time and a job, after numerous adjournments, to clear it up. At the same time, I don't want her to use this to further alienate me by telling my child I've abandoned.

I am scheduled for a visitation this weekend.

Is there anything she can do legally to prevent my visitation since I haven't attempted a pick up since January?
Can a court suspend or terminate my visitation because I stop going? Could she petition the court without my knowledge?

I'm not sure I'm ready to go back yet, but if I do I may have to violate her for refusing the pick-up. Could she counter that by saying I stopped pick-ups or some other accusation? She would easily have our child lie to have the court rule in her favor.

[M'sta Mikey]

If you have documented specific visitation rights as outlined in your divorce decree:

1. Immediately file a motion to enforce your visitation rights with the court.
2. Continue to show up and attempt to pick up you child.
3. Document date/time and your ex's response to you doing so.

Yes, she could counter and say you stopped but if you have the documentation to prove otherwise, it's for the courts to decide. If she is denying you visitation, SHE is in contempt of the order (if you have one) and it's SHE that must answer to a judge. She can say anything against you that she wishes, but she bears to responsibility of proof if she accusses you of anything.

When in doubt, contact a family law attorney in your state.

[ir21]

We were never married (thank God!!) I obtained a court ordered visitation schedule when she said I would never see my child again without one.

SO, I have to go through this vicious cycle until the courts are satisfied that she has indeed obstructed my visitation? My son is almost 11 now, doesn't that make him old enough to corroborate his mother's false accusations?

Just this past weekend I received a voice mail from him warning me that this was "your last opportunity to pick me up". What is that supposed to mean?

[LawResearcherMissy]

SO, I have to go through this vicious cycle until the courts are satisfied that she has indeed obstructed my visitation?

Alas, it does. Fight for your rights, anyway.

Just this past weekend I received a voice mail from him warning me that this was "your last opportunity to pick me up". What is that supposed to mean?

It means "Welcome to puberty. Please keep your restraints securely fastened, and keep all limbs in the car until the ride comes to a complete and final stop." You're gonna get mouth for the next few years. (My son morphed back into a human being at about 15 1/2.)

The child can mouth off all he wants, but that doesn't mean he gets to make the decisions, here. The court already did, and the court says you get visitation. Period.

Judges aren't stupid. They see this sort of situation far more often than they would like, and are quite astute at picking out when a child is merely parroting his custodial parent's ravings.

[Missnaz]

How clear and concise is the Order for Visitation? Lemme explain...

We keep a copy of the Order in the car. We were able to call the Police and use the Order twice, although they we're too happy about having to come out.

Because the order was very concise and we had a calendar highlighted for an entire year in advance, it made it real simple for the Officers. Both times, she refused to comply, but...

There are two separate 'records" of custodial interferences we have for our upcoming hearing.