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  1. #1
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    Default How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    My question involves criminal law for the state of: New York

    My fiance & I were involved in an argument that led to shoving, smacking and I have a bruise on my arm & back. He has scratches on his neck and face from me. On advice from family, I went to the poilce to press charges, though my head was not very clear of what had exactly happened. I had originally told police he cut me with a knife, but a few hours later, I began to remember that I had done that to myself, & he had been trying to take the knife away. By the time I got to the police to ask them to drop the charges, he had already been arrested. I want to know if:

    1) Can ask the prosecution to drop the charges on account that he did this because he had taken a medication that had affected his judgement? He was very disoriented and at times during the situation would laugh, then get angry, then laugh again. He cried as well. He seemed very unstable at the time.

    2) Will I be punished because I could not remember what happened clearly?

    3) After I tell my prosecuter about the fact that I cut myself with the knife & he was trying to take it away, will they be able to drop the charge on him of assult with a deadly weapon?

    4) What can I expect from the prosecuter? And can I speak to his defense lawyer, help them in any way? Will they believe me when I tell them I could not remember cleary what had happened?

    5) I have to tell the prosecuter that I too hit him as well, correct? What impact will that have on me?

    I meet with the prosecuter this week & would like to know what to expect/say before I speak to them.

    Thank you

  2. #2
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    Quote Quoting ina131
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    1) Can ask the prosecution to drop the charges on account that he did this because he had taken a medication that had affected his judgement? He was very disoriented and at times during the situation would laugh, then get angry, then laugh again. He cried as well. He seemed very unstable at the time.
    That will be a decision up to the DA.

    You are a witness to the act. Nothing more.

    The overwhelming majority of DV victims recant their testimony within a couple of days of the incident.

    Whether or not the case moves forward is not your decision to make.

    2) Will I be punished because I could not remember what happened clearly?
    Probably not. Being attacked and calling the police are stressful times and, occasionally, memory is not very trustworthy.

    That is why the police took those photos of your injuries.

    3) After I tell my prosecuter about the fact that I cut myself with the knife & he was trying to take it away, will they be able to drop the charge on him of assult with a deadly weapon?
    They may... if they believe you.

    4) What can I expect from the prosecuter? And can I speak to his defense lawyer, help them in any way? Will they believe me when I tell them I could not remember cleary what had happened?
    I recommend you wait until they call you.

    5) I have to tell the prosecuter that I too hit him as well, correct? What impact will that have on me?
    There isn't anything preventing the DA prosecuting BOTH of you.

    I meet with the prosecuter this week & would like to know what to expect/say before I speak to them.
    Given the statement you have made here, I recommend going in with an attorney... and NOT your BF's attorney.

  3. #3

    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    I can tell you on the first question, the DA doesnt care what medication anyone was on. That does not justify anything at all. Basically to sum this all up, your fiance will at least get prosecuted to some level and I would not doubt if you will too. They see this everyday in DV cases where the other person starts the whole taking back what really happened and any good DA will ignore it. They really do not need you to prosecute him as I am sure they have statements and pictures of you and what happened. You cant drop the charges, because the state now has the charges and they do there own thing. I have been in one of these messed up situations myself. At the very least, you will get to learn how awful our justice system is.

  4. #4
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    thank you. I have 1 more question. since the events, I have sents emails to both his parents & him telling them how sorry I am for all this and how I want to drop the charges. How can this be used against me during the trial? I am making no threats, nothing saying anything bad. I was just telling them all how sorry I was for the entire situation.

  5. #5
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    Quote Quoting ina131
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    thank you. I have 1 more question. since the events, I have sents emails to both his parents & him telling them how sorry I am for all this and how I want to drop the charges. How can this be used against me during the trial? I am making no threats, nothing saying anything bad. I was just telling them all how sorry I was for the entire situation.
    Well, you can expect for the email to be given to the defense counsel and may be given to the DA.

    That means that you may have just admitted to DV. And it won't help your BF a bit.

  6. #6
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    should I look into getting my own defense lawyer? I mean I did not admit to anything, I only told them I was sorry about this situation. I am panicing very much now, I have no idea what to do. I dont meet with the DA until Friday, I feel like I should have a lawyer of my own.

  7. #7
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    Quote Quoting ina131
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    should I look into getting my own defense lawyer? I mean I did not admit to anything, I only told them I was sorry about this situation. I am panicing very much now, I have no idea what to do. I dont meet with the DA until Friday, I feel like I should have a lawyer of my own.
    Given the statement you have made here, I recommend going in with an attorney... and NOT your BF's attorney.

  8. #8
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    No, I wont be using his attorny anyway, I cant. What I am asking is, that aside from the prosecuter, should I get an attorny outside of the DA's office? Other than the prosecuter?

  9. #9

    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    Victim's don't get their own attorney in a criminal trial. The only reason you'd need an attorney working on your behalf is if YOU get charged with a crime, or if you wanted to bring a lawsuit for damages (like medical bills) in civil court. In criminal cases, there are two attorneys, the prosecution who acts as an attorney for "the people", meaning all of society including the victim, and the defense attorney who represents the accused.
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  10. #10
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    Default Re: How Do I Drop Domestic Violence Charges

    Quote Quoting aardvarc
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    Victim's don't get their own attorney in a criminal trial. The only reason you'd need an attorney working on your behalf is if YOU get charged with a crime, or if you wanted to bring a lawsuit for damages (like medical bills) in civil court. In criminal cases, there are two attorneys, the prosecution who acts as an attorney for "the people", meaning all of society including the victim, and the defense attorney who represents the accused.
    I was referring to her question as to whether she was going to be charged as well.

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