My question involves restraining orders in the State of: New Jersey
My husband has been hanging some old traffic warrants over my head. It should have been cleared up a long time ago but I never had the money to do it. Ever since I told him about it (he's known for about a year or two) he's been threatening me with it. If I threatened to leave him he would threaten me with that. If we were arguing he would tell me if I didn't calm down he was going to call the police. Not to have them mediate the situation but to turn me in.
He tried to force himself on me while I was intoxicated (just a night out with friends, no history and the kids were not home) and was accusing me of cheating. It wasn't like something you saw on the movies but I did not want to be touched and he knew that...I wasn't that intoxicated.When we went to go pick up our kids I didn't go back with him...he was scaring me and I knew it was going to get out of hand. I stayed for three days. I came home to get clothes, documents and money because I was going back to my mother's. I had to wait for him to bring home the money (I had to lie and say I had bills to pay). He asked me where his air mattress was and that it had better not be at my mothers. It was and he demanded that I go get it. I went to do just that. I asked him why we just couldn't go our separate ways. He said I could get the F out, never come back, and good luck doing that with 1480.00. I left my kids with him, paid the bond he was holding over me and got a restraining order against him to get him out of the house. I could have just went back to my mother's with my kids but she has no heat, no hot water, no cooking gas just not a good environment for my children. I am no angel. In the beginning of our relationship I was known to tear stuff up. Not so much to intimidate, but to defend myself. Something like a trapped raccoon. But as soon as my daughter was born it stopped on my part, and when I got pregnant with my son I went into counseling because I was convinced 100% of the problems in our marriage was my fault. He never did until he was mandated by the court to do so, and even then he didn't do it. He tricked me into thinking he didn't have an anger problem and I told the counselor everything was fine...I know it was dumb but he had me brainwashed.
Of course when the police came to have him removed he started yelling "warrant". The police told him to stop badgering me and to get his stuff.
Here is my concern: I want the restraining order to stick because he didn't hit me this time. Is this enough for the court to issue a permanent restraining order until the divorce is final?
when we first met he told me his shady story about him being accused of rape. That a girl set him up and lied on him, but it just so happened he had a video tape of the consentual sex act (how convenient!). The police arrested him, and brought him to the police station. He claims he called his mother, told her to get this tape, and bring it to the police station. So him, the police and his mother all watch this video tape. Obviously the police let him go because the tape explained it all! He also has this bee-bee gun that looks like a real hand pistol. I didn't think nothing of it, a lot people have those. Until I did a search last night online and found pictures posted of him posing with it. I mean if you're a non-violent person why would you want to pose with a hand gun, fake or not then post it on the web?
I know one has no bearing on the other but I just wanted give a background and get some feedback on that rape story