Confused, Mad, and Want Some Answers

[aec2009]

My question involves child support in the State of: Oregon
First off, how does the court decide how much one parent should pay the other parent for child support?

[seniorjudge]

Try this.

[aec2009]

okay..but is it fair that the court factors in my moms last years bonus into her yearly salary, making it so she has to hand over most of her paycheck? the court messed up and they didnt catch it and now my dad is sitting on his high horse thinking he finally got the best of my mom.

[Neal1421]

okay..but is it fair that the court factors in my moms last years bonus into her yearly salary, making it so she has to hand over most of her paycheck? the court messed up and they didnt catch it and now my dad is sitting on his high horse thinking he finally got the best of my mom.

Honestly, it is none of your business. If there was a mistake, your mother should have appealed the court's decision. This is your mom's fight, not yours.

[aec2009]

i know that its none of my business, but its really hard to stay out of it all. i love and care about my parents and i dont like seeing them fight like they do all the time. its really pathetic and immature the way they go about things. my parents like to find out some dirt about each other so they have something to use against one another in court, and thats where i come in. i try really hard to stay out of it all and just let them settle things their way but when i hear some of the really nasty things my dad says about my mom, it hurts. and i have no other choice but to step in and tell him to stop. and my mom comes to me and tells me the things my dad says to her and the things hes doing, i also tell her to stop, i dont want to hear it. no matter what i do ill always be in the middle of it, and i thought about emancipation, but that would be too much work considering i turn 18 in 7 or 8 months. i dont know what to do...and thats why i ask for help. i cant just be told to stay out of it, believe me IVE TRIED! its getting to the point where i just want to leave and get away from it all, but that would be just stupid. it really hurts me and stresses me out, ive put up with it for the last 7 years and am at my wits end. i feel like im dealing with 2 middle schoolers sometimes, its REALLY getting old.

[Xena]

i know that its none of my business, but its really hard to stay out of it all. i love and care about my parents and i dont like seeing them fight like they do all the time. its really pathetic and immature the way they go about things. my parents like to find out some dirt about each other so they have something to use against one another in court, and thats where i come in. i try really hard to stay out of it all and just let them settle things their way but when i hear some of the really nasty things my dad says about my mom, it hurts. and i have no other choice but to step in and tell him to stop. and my mom comes to me and tells me the things my dad says to her and the things hes doing, i also tell her to stop, i dont want to hear it. no matter what i do ill always be in the middle of it, and i thought about emancipation, but that would be too much work considering i turn 18 in 7 or 8 months. i dont know what to do...and thats why i ask for help. i cant just be told to stay out of it, believe me IVE TRIED! its getting to the point where i just want to leave and get away from it all, but that would be just stupid. it really hurts me and stresses me out, ive put up with it for the last 7 years and am at my wits end. i feel like im dealing with 2 middle schoolers sometimes, its REALLY getting old.

I know it's hard, but you really can stay out of it simply by telling your parents that these things are thier problems, not yours and that you don't and won't take part in their problems any more. Unfortunately, there's not much you can do when they try to talk to you, but try very hard to just tune it out and do not make any comments at all.

The upside is that you will be an adult in a few months, and then you can move and truly be out of the middle.

[gigirle]

Or you can show them this thread ...maybe this will help them grow up a bit. Hang on...you'll be able to walk away soon enough.