My question involves a child custody case from the State of: VA
My fiance has joint custody of his 6 year old son, this being with a woman he was never married to. They have been seperated along with custody set forth via the courts for almost 5 years.
The mother since the courts has moved many times now living (in the same state) but differenty county almost 2 hours from where we live, which is the same county my fiance has always lived in since having his son.
We have many many issues but this one is purely about what my fiances rights are with regards to his ex signing the child up for extracurricular activities that conflict with the times he has with his son.
Before it sounds like he's a father that isn't looking to be involved or have anything to do with his child playing sports let me explain. These extracurricular sports are in her county and are only 2 min. (and we are talking walking not driving min.) from her home, while these activities are almost 2 hours away from where we reside.
My fiance only gets his son every other weekend (due to her not wanting him to have him more..I'm sure cause it means more child support money) and because due to his son being in school and the distance he can't get him durring the week. As for every weekend she claims she wants a weekend with him (even though his son says he spends 1 weekend with us and one with his Grandma, which is her mother...so much for her weekend she needs with her child).
Either way she signed him up, again..because last year she signed him up for football. Knowing his sons love of football we willingly took him to these games on our weekends (which mind you were not every weekend we had him). Now she signed him up for basketball (as always never speaking to the father first about anything or even just letting him know) her way of letting him know was 2 days before he was getting him..she calls to say oh yeah and he needs to be at his basketball practice (PRACTICE, not even a game) Saturday morning by 8:00am. (which again if we live almost 2 hours from there you can see what time we'd have to leave). Plus the fact is he gets his son every other weekend from Friday at 6:30 PM to Sunday at 4:30PM. So if every weekend on Saturdays we had to take from 6am to 1PM doing the extracurricular activity, how is that giving my fiance much quality time with his child.
Well with this said, and with his son expressing and talking about how much he doesn't like basketball; he told his ex he's not taking his son to these activities. She is now stating that she is going to take him back to court (mind you that's all she does is take him to court or threaten to take him to court...knowing again because it's in her county he has to miss a whole day of work and she's hoping he just gives in). So question is...can she sign him up especially without the father stating before hand he agrees to take to and from on his court appointed visitation days/times to these activities. And if he doesn't can the court actually side with her, which really would be dictating how he spends his court appointed time with his child..which really is not much as it is (4 times a month)? PLEASE HELP, as I personally just received the call from her asking me to speak to talk some since into him about this or she'd just have to take him to court...which I told her I'm not in the middle but my suggestion to anyone would be call the courts because I do not see how she can decide for my fiance what he's going to do when he has his son. Would be the same as if we signed him up for something by our house that required her to drive him to and from there durring the week (week or weekend what's the difference..it's still her time and not something I feel we can DEMAND or tell her how/what she's going to do)....ANY HELP or info would be appreciated..
Yes I know we need an attorney it's just not in the budget now especially since they aren't cheap.
do you know if this applies also in the state of Virginia and if the parents were never married how this might play a part. My boyfriends ex lives almost 2 hours away and she has signed him up for a county sport which he has practice every single weekend, one of those weekends obviously being spent with at our house. She signed him up never discussed anything prior to doing so and now is stating because we do not want to bring him (which he doesn't like it, it's basketball) she is going to take us to court.
I do not see how when my boyfriend only gets his son 4 times a month (due to work and her moving/living so far away from us) how she can sign him up which would dictate how he spends his time with his son. Taking him would require us getting him on a Friday at 6:30PM and turning around Saturday morning getting up at 6:30am to drive almost 2 hours for the practice and not get back home till lunch time or a little after. That would only leave less than 24 hours of physical time he'd have with his child to actually plan and do something he'd like, because we leave to take his son back on Sunday at 4:00PM. PLEASE tell me the just in this.
The kicker is that the activities she signs him up for are 2 min. from her home, convenient for her. I feel if she really thought about the childs best interest she would of not only spoke the my the father first but also looked into something that would be more of a central location that works for both parents and not just her...but then again this is a typical ongoing thing we have with her. IT's all about her..ALL!