Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast
Results 1 to 10 of 13
  1. #1
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    refusing to comply with visitation
    Posts
    7

    Default EX refuses to comply with visitation, won't see kids

    I am considering enforcing a visitation agreement that was filed along with the divorce decree. My EX husband says that he is no longer a "father" and refuses to comply. I have been asking him patiently and without demanding. But, on previous occassions he has said that he doesn't have to do anything he doesn't want to do. Our visitation agreement is worded loosely but it does say "not less than two weekends per month". Can I ask for modification? I would like to see more definite language and a visitation schedule drawn up on a calendar. He refuses to commit to anything on any subject. Can the courts order him to comply?

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
    Posts
    28,650

    Default Parenting Time

    So your ex- is simply refusing to see the children? And you want the court to compel him to exercise his court-ordered parenting time?

  3. #3
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    refusing to comply with visitation
    Posts
    7

    Default no visitation wanted by EX

    Yes, he is no longer calling himself a parent and does not want to comply with the visitation order. Nor does he call the children. When I contact him though, he wants to know how they are doing. I find this disturbing and tell him that he needs to find out for himself. My one son does want to do things with him and I make that known to my EX. Still doesn't change things. My other son has nothing in common, so visitation doesn't matter, but has made the comment to someone that his dad doesn't want him anymore. Both boys appear to be happy and adjusted without visitation. My attitude is that their Dad should not be left off the hook all the time as he was when we were still married.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    181

    Default

    The court won't and can't make him use his visitation. Usually it the exact opposite. If you take him back to court over it the most they will do is DECREASE his visitation time.

    Does he pay child support?

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Posts
    24

    Default

    Just out of curiousity, if your ex doesn't want to spend time with the kids, would you really WANT to force him to?

    Imagine the attitude and friction this would cause between him and the children! I know as a father, I wouldn't want to subject my kids to that. If he wants to act single and childless, but still pays his child support, let him. Its his loss. I realize the impact this will have on the kids, its a hard thing to accept that your father wants nothing to do with you. Just make sure they understand that this is their fathers decision, and its not their fault.

  6. #6
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    refusing to comply with visitation
    Posts
    7

    Default visit or not to visit

    I have read some of the issues parents are having over visitation and parents are being denied it when they want it. What is the craziness there? The visitation was agreed to with all the other papers filed and he signed them.

    I realize that taking them back and forth would be a burden on me but he only lives a half hour drive away. Why should I continue to be the only parent? He has done this for 12 years, just acting like he is single and me being both Mom and Dad 24/7. Why should he have free weekends to pursue another relationship or go anywhere he pleases.

    He did this before to me after the divorce 3 years ago and I caved in. Long story but I went back to him for the past 2 years and suffered for it.

    The last time he acted like this was over the fact that I would be able to see other guys if he took them. So even though that comment hasn't come forth, he is back to saying he isn't a "father" anymore.

    I didn't file for child support 3 years ago because I was making more than he was and didn't want the grief and anger that goes along with paying child support. I filed for it this time. I told him that if he can't give him his time (both while married or living together) that he can give them his money. He never paid for or offered to pay for anything such as haircuts, shoes, clothes or toys.

    I have a support hearing on Feb 13. I left in December. He hasn't given me a dime. When I moved back in with him, I quit my good paying job that was in another area of the state and haven't found any suitable work to replace it in the past two years. I live in rural Pennsylvania.

    As far as attitude on his part, he was born with one. Anything to do with me or the kids gives him an attitude but that doesn't change the fact that he created them and married me.

    I've looked under the State Code and have found legal forms to address what I want to do. He can tell the judge why he feels he can't comply with visitation. If I am lucky, it will be the same judge who signed the divorce.

    I am not being vindictive and nasty about this. I have asked him nicely and patiently but that doesn't and hasn't gotten me anywhere since we met.

  7. #7
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    181

    Default

    Even if the judge were to question him as to why he doesn't exercise his visitation, there is no way anyone can FORCE dad to see the child. A judge couldn't issue an order that stated dad MUST use his visitaion time or else. How would they punish him if he failed to abide by the order? Would they give him custody of the kids? What would happen is dad will lose the visitation, which puts you in the exact same position you are in now,

  8. #8
    Join Date
    Jan 2006
    Location
    refusing to comply with visitation
    Posts
    7

    Default visit or not to visit

    I have an appointment with my divorce attorney tomorrow. I will have to wait to see what will happen. With the possibility that the judge may remove his visitation rights, that may be to my advantage if he realizes that he can never see them again even if he changes his mind in the future.

    He went through a very bitter divorce with his parents and also his Dad's second round with another woman whom he had two children with. She refused visitation and my EX also lost his ability to see his step-sisters, which he dearly loved.

    Two weekends a month and two weeks in the summer is not a burden to us NORMAL people. If I dropped them off at his house he can't say it isn't his weekend because of the open language in the agreement. It states "Not less than two weekends per month" and "from such and such time until such and such time". I could do it every weekend.

    It is my understanding in the legal forms that I viewed, is failure to comply with a court order is punishable by a bench warrant. Here is the copy and paste:

    If the court finds that you have willfully failed to comply with its order for (custody) (partial custody) (visitation), you may be found to be in contempt of court and committed to jail, fined or both.

  9. #9
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Texas
    Posts
    181

    Default

    Just because he loses his visitatation now, if he changes his maind later, all he has to do is go back to court and get a modification so that he can have visitaion. And yes, he will more than likely get it.

    I already know what the punishment for contempt is, but not taking the kids is not contempt. Read your court order again. It says that dad has the RIGHT to have the children 2 weekends a month and 2 weeks in the summer. No where does it state Dad MUST keep the children for the alloted time. And no judge would EVER word the order to read that he is REQUIRED to keep the children.

    You are just going to have to face the fact that no matter what you do, no one can make dad exercise his visitation rights.

  10. #10
    Join Date
    Dec 2005
    Location
    Pennsylvania
    Posts
    25

    Default

    I have been going through almost the same thing for a year now. I have an ex husband that made all the rules of how often and what times he wanted to be with his kids.. I agreed because I wanted so much for him to be in my kids lives. It only worked for a little while. Then he "got tired" of having them as long as he "wanted" them.. He was scheduled to have them 3 WEEKENDS a month during the school year, then every other week during the summer. That is the way HE WANTED IT. I went from having my kids 24-7, to losing them for those times. That got old for him REAL FAST. He got to the point where he was telling me when he wanted the kids and when I was spposed to pick them back up. He gave up a full weekend with them, because one of my kids got an "attitude"with him. So, he calls me and tells me to get my butt back home-- (I was an hour away from my house)- because he was bringing both kids back to me... So, even after it went through the courts for his visitation times, he still told me when and how long he wanted the kids. He made all the rules of how he wanted things done, but, after awhile, he wanted to change them. He even went as far as to tell his girlfriend(at the time) that I need to stay home more often so he could get a hold of me when he needed to.. this was while the kids were in his care. So, as for your ex being afraid that you will be going out and having ANY kind of "FUN".. I think that may be the problem, because till this day, my ex still has a problem about that with me. He has since then gotten remarried, and is getting on with his life, BUT... He thinks I should not have a "personal" life.. Especially because I have the kids with me full time now.. meaning 24-7 again, because he lost his visitation rights in June 2005, and has done NOTHING to try to get them back. He has told me more than once, that I need to worry about my kids needs before I worry about my own. He told me this last year while he had visits with the kids. I felt that while the kids were in his care, I was free to do WHATEVER I wanted to. But, he saw things differently. He thought I should've been at home waiting by the phone in case he "NEEDED" me for whatever reason.

    1. Sponsored Links
       

Page 1 of 2 12 LastLast

Similar Threads

  1. Mother Refuses Visitation
    By Ticalion in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 2
    Last Post: 09-23-2010, 10:24 AM
  2. My Ex Refuses to See Our Child for Visitation
    By Lott in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 8
    Last Post: 05-24-2010, 05:17 AM
  3. Under Age Child Refuses to Come for Visitation
    By ChristianMom in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 14
    Last Post: 03-13-2010, 09:17 PM
  4. Help with custody and visitation issues of kids
    By chell9900 in forum Child Custody and Visitation
    Replies: 4
    Last Post: 09-28-2006, 09:47 AM
  5. Guardianship: What if kid refuses to go for a visitation?
    By Ebony in forum Guardianship and Conservatorship
    Replies: 9
    Last Post: 09-01-2006, 09:44 PM

Bookmarks

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •  
 
Forum Sponsor
Custody Lawyer
Get help for your custody case. Consult a divorce lawyer for free.




Untitled Document