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  1. #1
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    Jan 2009
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    Default Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    My question involves grandparents rights in the State of: Ohio

    I need some advice on how to handle a situation of a new Granddaughter.........Our son recently had a new baby with a girl who's mother did not want him to have any rights to the child. When the child was born they wouldn't let him sign the birth certificate or even spend quality time with his child that they said would never know he was the father and that we would never know this child as our granddaughter. They kept the child from him ........knowing he was a good father ( he has a son by his first relationship and always had visitation and took great care of him when he visited on weekends)and this devistated him to the point to where he took his own life. We have tried to be as strong as we can through this time of sadness and have consulted with the mother of the child and the controlling grandmother and to no avail will they let us interact as grandparents to this child. Since our son has passed they have taken it upon themselves to now recieve monthly benefits through Social Security for this child and now aknowledges our son as "Daddy this and Daddy that" knowing they recieve a monthly check. Dna was done after our son had passed and was recieved from the coroner they day after he died and has proven him to be the father. My question is what can we do to possibly get custody of this child? We know for a fact that the mother is a young mother who has stated that she's just not ready to be a parent and that her controlling mother has been caring for the child pretty much since day one. Our concerns are the controlling grandmother has had several occurences of suicidal bouts and has been diagnosed with bi polar disorders and schizophrenia. She herself will not deny this. We have a very close bond with the first grandchild and get him on weekends. He is the apple of our eye. But we are gravely concerned about this whole situtation of our granddaughter and wish to be a part of her life as much as we are of her half brother's. All advice is welcome..........

  2. #2
    Join Date
    Mar 2007
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    9,085

    Default Re: How Would You Handle This

    Consult a lawyer about visitation.

    Custody is a bit of a stretch for a child you have never met...

  3. #3
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    Jan 2009
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    2

    Default Re: How Would You Handle This

    We have seen the baby a few times at great grandparents house but have had no visitations of our own.

  4. #4
    Join Date
    Mar 2005
    Location
    Michigan
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    28,650

    Default Re: How Would You Handle This

    Grandparent's visitation rights in Ohio are summarized in this article (PDF), and under the circumstances you describe are principally governed by ORC 3109.11.

    It's extremely difficult for a third party to take custody away from a child's parent.

  5. #5
    Join Date
    Dec 2008
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    23

    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    First of all, the mother did not prevent the father from having parental rights.

    Sounds like there is a big reason the mother does not want you in their life, possibly because who have already threatened to sue for visitation. If you have the first son on weekends it sounds like you are experienced with suing a custodial parent already.

    It is highly unlikely that the mother had much to do with your son's suicide. It also sounds like your son chose to escape responsibility by not marrying women he had children with, then commiting suicide.

    Social security benefits are something that any widow can get, whether the relatives think they are deserving or not. It is not your call. Your bringing it up shows you are resentful she is eligible for it.

    Unless she has a criminal record, you cannot get custody just because you don't like the mother, are upset that she is getting SS bennies, and vindictively want to take the child away from her.

    Your terrible attitude is exactly why you don't see this child. It shines through in your post. Afterall, it is NOT your child, you have no legal rights to the child. She is the sole custodial parent and obviously you are having difficulties in accepting this. This is so typical of why grandparents sue for visits, misplaced sense of entitlement. Work through your own grief and let them work through theirs. Suing will only hurt this child. Consult a counselor and find a constructive non-court way to mend the damage you have contributed to.

  6. #6
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    Dec 2007
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    To FitParent:

    Sounds like there is a big reason the mother does not want you in their life, possibly because who have already threatened to sue for visitation. If you have the first son on weekends it sounds like you are experienced with suing a custodial parent already.It is highly unlikely that the mother had much to do with your son's suicide. It also sounds like your son chose to escape responsibility by not marrying women he had children with, then commiting suicide.
    Are you serious? And I really mean that...are you serious?

    It doesn't matter if the mother WANTS the grandmother in the childs life or not. The grandmother has rights. The child has a right to know both grandparents, and the law will back up the grandmother.

    Then you tell the OP that "it sounds like your son chose to escape responsility by not marrying women he had children with".... Sounds like the son was the smart one here! Any woman who chooses to KEEP a parent out of the life of THEIR children are THE most controlling selfish people on earth. Two wrongs don't make a right. With that thinking...your saying...get married, your pregnant, it's okay if he beats the crap out of you, if he's a convicted felon, child molester, you got pregnant so your its the right thing to do. Do you have any idea how OUTDATED that thinking is?

    Social security benefits are something that any widow can get, whether the relatives think they are deserving or not. It is not your call. Your bringing it up shows you are resentful she is eligible for it.
    Wrong again. The surviving children get this. Remember "he chose not to marry..." load of you know what. She's not entitled to any benefits, but his daughter is.

    Your terrible attitude is exactly why you don't see this child. It shines through in your post. Afterall, it is NOT your child, you have no legal rights to the child. She is the sole custodial parent and obviously you are having difficulties in accepting this.
    Your attitude is much worse, and your name is hysterical, bc I don't find you fit to be a dog catcher. Obviously, the grandmother here is more upset she lost her son. She came here asking if she has rights, and SHE DOES. I for one, hope that she gets them bc it's ABOUT THE CHILD.
    Work through your own grief and let them work through theirs. Suing will only hurt this child.
    Again stupid advice. Unless grandma here is some kind of child molester, having a relationship with her grandchild is whats best. Whats sad is that the mother doesn't see this.
    You should seek some help yourself.

  7. #7
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    Nov 2007
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    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    Quote Quoting gigirle
    View Post
    To FitParent:


    Are you serious? And I really mean that...are you serious?

    It doesn't matter if the mother WANTS the grandmother in the childs life or not. The grandmother has rights. The child has a right to know both grandparents, and the law will back up the grandmother.

    Then you tell the OP that "it sounds like your son chose to escape responsility by not marrying women he had children with".... Sounds like the son was the smart one here! Any woman who chooses to KEEP a parent out of the life of THEIR children are THE most controlling selfish people on earth. Two wrongs don't make a right. With that thinking...your saying...get married, your pregnant, it's okay if he beats the crap out of you, if he's a convicted felon, child molester, you got pregnant so your its the right thing to do. Do you have any idea how OUTDATED that thinking is?



    Wrong again. The surviving children get this. Remember "he chose not to marry..." load of you know what. She's not entitled to any benefits, but his daughter is.


    Your attitude is much worse, and your name is hysterical, bc I don't find you fit to be a dog catcher. Obviously, the grandmother here is more upset she lost her son. She came here asking if she has rights, and SHE DOES. I for one, hope that she gets them bc it's ABOUT THE CHILD.

    Again stupid advice. Unless grandma here is some kind of child molester, having a relationship with her grandchild is whats best. Whats sad is that the mother doesn't see this.
    You should seek some help yourself.
    Please be careful of how you word things. Grandparents do not have inherent rights to their grandchildren. What they do have is the right of a chance to sue for visitation. Grandmother in this case will have the right under her states statute as her son is deceased. If the mother of the child can prove that it would not be in her child's best interests to visit then grandma will lose and have no hope of ever seeing the child again. Gramma will NOT get custody unless she can prove the mother of the child completely and utterly unfit. It doesn't matter if she proves the other gramma is nuts, it's not relevant to the case at hand.

    On a personal note, I can understand fitparents point. I also have been sued and can understand. It is NEVER in a child's best interest to be forced into a court order for visitation with a grandparent. My children were never denied visitation with their grandfather. He just determined that it wasn't enough. My children have been completely destroyed by this. My 9 and 7 year old have had so much damage done to them over this that they cannot deal with the situation. Do you have any idea how hard it is to control my children when I have a person running behind me telling them NOT to listen to me? Any idea of how difficult it is to get them to do ANYTHING because they are being told that when they are 11, they can choose to go live with them.

    It is NOT always best to have a relationship forced upon the children. Children should always come first and sometimes a parent knows that better than a grandparent OR the court.

  8. #8
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    Dec 2007
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    QUOTE]Please be careful of how you word things. Grandparents do not have inherent rights to their grandchildren. What they do have is the right of a chance to sue for visitation.
    [/QUOTE]
    What did I misword? I NEVER said anything about grandparents having inherent custody rights of their grandchildren, I said visitiation. It's also not the same in every state.
    He just determined that it wasn't enough
    So did the court agree with him?
    My children have been completely destroyed by this. My 9 and 7 year old have had so much damage done to them over this that they cannot deal with the situation.
    Why on earth would a 9 and 7 yr old be put in the middle of all of the adult stuff? If they can't deal, they should be getting some professional help.

    Do you have any idea how hard it is to control my children when I have a person running behind me telling them NOT to listen to me? Any idea of how difficult it is to get them to do ANYTHING because they are being told that when they are 11, they can choose to go live with them.
    Yes, I do have a BIG idea of how hard it is. But its called life. It actually happens A LOT between parents, espically of those who are divorced. Dad calls mom names and vice versa and then the extended family gets involved, oh yeah, then theres the stepparent who thinks they have rights too. The difference being is that when parents argue over custody, they can get it, grandparents only get visitation. Your not the only single parent who faces these hurdles bc of a deceased spouse, it happens all the time.
    Grandparents get involved too much all the time, but 90% of the time their intentions are pure, they just want to love the grandkids.

  9. #9
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    Nov 2007
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    136

    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    Quote Quoting gigirle
    View Post

    What did I misword? I NEVER said anything about grandparents having inherent custody rights of their grandchildren, I said visitiation. It's also not the same in every state.

    So did the court agree with him?

    Why on earth would a 9 and 7 yr old be put in the middle of all of the adult stuff? If they can't deal, they should be getting some professional help.


    Yes, I do have a BIG idea of how hard it is. But its called life. It actually happens A LOT between parents, espically of those who are divorced. Dad calls mom names and vice versa and then the extended family gets involved, oh yeah, then theres the stepparent who thinks they have rights too. The difference being is that when parents argue over custody, they can get it, grandparents only get visitation. Your not the only single parent who faces these hurdles bc of a deceased spouse, it happens all the time.
    Grandparents get involved too much all the time, but 90% of the time their intentions are pure, they just want to love the grandkids.
    I will not continue to argue with you on other peoples threads. If you wish to argue with me start a thread somewhere else and away we go. You are making a lot assumptions over my case that are simply false. I am not single. My husband is alive as is my ex husband (who is the father of my older two children). My ex and I are friends. His wife is my best friend. We coparent perfectly with the help of our spouses. Shall I continue?

  10. #10
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    Dec 2007
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    Ohio
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    Default Re: Custody or Visitation After a Parent's Death

    If I made that assumption and I was wrong then thats that. The assumptions that I made were based on a thread about a deceased son, fitparent responded, and then you tell me to be careful how in need to word things. It really doesn't matter if your a widow or divorced, married or have a same sex marriage, it's all the same and the law here says that Grandma or grandpa can petition for visitation. Grandparents have rights in court.

    You can go on and all you like, it doesn't change the law or how people behave.

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