Making My Teens Go for Visitation

[smmurf46]

My question involves a child custody case from the State of: Indiana

I am a father with custody of my two teen sons. The oldest (will be 16 in 2 months) hasn't went to his Moms for several months. They did not get along at all.

Their mother is on disability for a mental illness. She has cussed my boys out on several occasions. She called our oldest son a no good piece of sh*^! I used to make him go, but once I heard her cussing him on the phone, I gave into his begging to not go. He even told me if he went, he would just run away from her house. I have tried to talk to her about the problems between them, but she won't listen to me. The last time both boys went together for visitation she sat them down and told the oldest that he was the BAD son and that the youngest was the GOOD son. I have documented everything that has went on for the last year.

Now my younger son doesn't want to go. (he is 13) He does go most of the time, but maybe 1 out of 4 times he won't go. We (my boys and I) can tell when she hasn't been taking her meds because she acts very strange. Most of the time this is when he doesn't want to go. She tells him crazy things and it scares him. (She thinks I have a high tech device in my car and can "tap" into her phone by passing by her house)

She will tell him that she won't make him come every single time. Then when he doesn't want to go, she will throw a fit and yell and cry and scream and cuss at him. I haven't been forcing him to go lately either.

She went to the courthouse today and is filing something- maybe contempt for me not forcing the boys.

Do I have to FORCE them to go? One thing they complain about is the fact that they don't have rooms or beds there. They have to sleep on the floor. She lives in a very small apartment and smokes about 3 packs a day. The boys say it's so smokey there that you can cut it and it makes their eyes burn bad.

I have tried talking to her, I have forced them to go several times. i just don't know what to do anymore.

[cyjeff]

A court order is just that.. an order.

Not a guideline or a suggestions. An order from a judge that has, for you, the force of law.

Failure to abide by it can and will result in contempt of court charges... for you.

If she is as bad as you say, get the court order changed. Ask the judge to hear the children. He/she will not HAVE to abide by the wishes of the children, but they are usually, at that age, listened to.

However, and I cannot stress this enough, until that order is changed, you follow it to the letter.

[smmurf46]

Thank you. One more question- I have never told her that she wasn't "allowed" to get the boys. When they say they don't want to go, I always have them call her to talk to her about it.(Before it go too bad, I just told them they were going!) She usually gets mad at them and hangs up on them, then doesn't show up to get them.

There has never been a time when she has came to pick them up, that they haven't went or that she has been denied. In fact, I have always told the boys if she shows up to pick them up- they have to go with her.

Our youngest goes 8 out of 10 times. The oldest hasn't went in several months. She said she didn't want the oldest to ever come back and didn't want anything to do with him. She is filing something now because the youngest (13) has missed the last 2 times because he has wanted to stay home and go hunting. (The time before last he went and was only there for an hour when she called my wife to come and get him because they were fighting too much and she couldn't handle it)

My question is- if she has never been DENIED visitation from me, is there still contempt on my part?