My Son Pays Support,no Contact.I Want to Contact Mother - Risks?

[nonna]

My question involves grandparents rights in the State of: Virginia
DNA test proved paternity for my 20 year old son. He's paying court ordered child support, without any contact with the girl or the child. Pregnancy was the result of a *hookup* and my son didn't even know till the baby was 16 months old, when the mom filed for child support.
So, here's my situation as *grandmother*
We're moving and I'd like to offer (no strings attached) to give her some of my son's childhood things. He may not be in contact with the child now, but maybe in the future.....or at least the baby should have some things from his birth-father. I'd love to know the baby, but realize this is unrealistic now, and really just want to offer some sentimental things and some good will.
Is there any liability for me if I contact the girl?
Am I crazy? Should I stay out of this situation? The girl has an online business and I can contact her thru that source, not thru any state agency.
thank you

[gigirle]

Is there any liability for me if I contact the girl?

Legally? Unless they have a court order for you to stay way, no. You may however not win any brownie points with your son.

Am I crazy?

For wanting to reach out to your grandchild? I don't think so but thats just MHO. Pretend your Switzerland and stay neutral.

Should I stay out of this situation? The girl has an online business and I can contact her thru that source, not thru any state agency.

Staying out of their business is exactly what you should do. If your able to keep your mouth shut when there is a rude comment directed toward your son (cuz lets face it, it's a possiblitly that that will happen) then do what you can to establish your own relationship with your grandchild and his mother. You can't change what happened so try and make due with what you have. This is of course advise given without knowing how involved you have been with the situation in the past.

If your son isn't man enough to accept what you do, he'll have to get over it. He may surprise everyone and step up to the plate someday. But IMHO, not attempting to establish at least communication will only hurt you. If your rejected, well, at least you know you tried. You are also not responsible for your sons actions and hopefully the mother will see this and accept and welcome your good intentions.